Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest: 177 What did you say?

[Catarina]

Don't tell me about it award goes to: Bry Sinclair

After Tuvok's promotion, everyone soon grew tired of Kim's hissy-fits about still being an ensign.


Welcome to my world, Doc Award: Jirin Panthosa

DOC: So the richer the person is, the higher their treatment coefficient and more treatment they get.
OTHER DOCTOR: Of course. It's the perfect algorithm, based on one pioneered on a distant planet called Earth a little over 350 years ago.

It's all part of the job: Tenacity

Lawyer: "Here's a little piece of consumer feedback in the form of a medical malpractice lawsuit."

Demonstrating Vulcan Satisfaction: Triskellion

I already have a man. How else could you explain this look of complete satisfaction.

Nostalgia Fail award: Jirin Panthosa

The IPad version of Operation was deeply disappointing.



This round:

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Catarina!

Reg: Wouldn't you prefer them more...squared off?
Seven: Your idea has merit.

Torres: Stop breathing down my neck.
EMH: My breath is only a simulation.
Torres: So is my mek'leth. <stabs>

 

[Nerys Myk]

RYAN: Are you insane? If my waist was compressed any smaller I'd die!

 

[LeadHead]

Paris: The light was yellow when I entered the intersection!

B'Elanna: Doctor, you can look at these readouts from any one of the 36 other screens in sickbay. Either get out of my personal space bubble or I'll add uncontrollable diarrhea to your program.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Barclay: So... how did you fill in the "gaps" of Commander Chakotay's physical parameters file for your holodeck simulation?

EMH: Thank goodness you're here, Lt. The program for analyzing the crew physicals appears to be corrupted. It shows that you have Rigelian Psoriasis, but Tom Paris is the only known carrier onboard, and it's only transmitted through sexual activity, so there must be a corruption in the database.

B'Elanna: Yes... yes, a corruption in the database! You're right!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Even Seven of Nine was getting a little tired of Reg Barclay's "invisible accordion" gag...

Doctor: (exhales a sigh)
Torres: (sniffs) "Is that...garlic?"
Doctor: "I told you I wanted to be more realistic."
Torres: "Okay, but...halitosis?"

Paris: "'With a steely gaze leveled at the Klingon commander, "Lightning" Paris curled his lip in a sneer. "You'll be begging for mercy by the time I'm finished with you!", he growled. As the torpedo screamed towards his craft, he ignored the throbbing ache of his dislocated shoulder and steered the badly damaged freighter towards the Klingon armada. He could hear the thrum of his starship's engines going ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa...'"
Janeway: (on comms) "Earth to Lt. Mitty..."


(LOL he looks like Danny Kaye in this picture...)

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw!

JANEWAY: Lieutenant Paris, return to the ship right now!
PARIS: Give me just one more minute, I'm using the technology I invented in Threshold to go Warp 9.9999, fast enough to get home in seconds but not fast enough to super-evolve.
JANEWAY: You know very well mentioning that week carries penalty of death!
PARIS: Oh, come on! Just for once can we not develop technology amnesia and apply the things we learned in the past to a future solution?!!
JANEWAY: That's it, you're an Ensign again.

HOLO-BARCALAY: Real Barcalay is much smaller, but me...

JANEWAY: I'm looking for a way to promote you as much as possible but without pissing off the crew too much.
SEVEN: Why promote me? Just treat me like you already did and it won't matter I have no official rank.
JANEWAY: Brilliant!

B'ELANA: What the hell are you doing?
DOC: It's okay, I'm a doctor.

 

[Ithekro]

Barclay: When I returned from the war I weighed 95 pounds!.

 

[Finn]

Barclay: I have a great idea...Goddess of Relevance.

Janeway: I fucked up...I accidentally changed history and had the Borg assimilate the guy who invented coffee.

Doc: I bet you that you wouldn't be giving me attitude if I had the appearance of Julian Bashir....

 

[tharpdevenport]

Barclay: "But it's this thick..."

7: "I don't know, I'm kind of already involved with wood, if you know what I mean..."

Janeway (over subspace): "Captain Janeway to Lt. Paris -- you are ordered to turn away from the New Amsterdam red light district and come back here and have lizard babies with me."

Paris: "Do I have to?"

Janeway: "Yes you do, mister. And it's MA'AM. And don't think sensors didn't detect you hiding in the storage seat compartment, Ensign Kim. Now I'll have to re-evaluate that promotion."

 

[Finn]

Janeway: I don't know what happened but I was pursuing someone called Piscatella...he makes me so angry for some reason. I was with an investigator...Fletcher or Colombo.. I was somewhere in Maine.

Q: (OS) *chuckle*

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Janeway: I don't know what happened but I was pursuing someone called Piscatella...he makes me so angry for some reason. I was with an investigator...Fletcher or Colombo.. I was somewhere in Maine.

Q: (OS) *chuckle*

And I had a weird dream I was somehow in a black comedy version of Strangers on a Train.

 

[Triskelion]

Paris: Permission to dock, captain!
Janeway: Who are you supposed to be?
Paris: Ethel Thayer! Thounds like I'm lithping, doethn't it!
Janeway: Wait - is that Henry Fonda or Katharine Hepburn?
Paris: Both!
Janeway: PERMISSION DENIED

Barclay: Sorry I couldn't get you out of your catsuit. I'll have to go get the jaws of life.
Seven: I get that all the time.

Janeway: Obviously this superglue doesn't know who it's dealing with!
Seven: Obviously.

Torres: Is that your medical tricorder wand or are you just happy to see me?
EMH: I get that all the time.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "When I get my hands on the person who replaced my coffee with prune juice..."

 

[Qonundrum]

EMH: "Kochanski? There is nobody on board this ship with this name."
Kryten: "I'm sorry sir, but the Navicomp beamed us over to the nearest ship to deal with the impending birth of Lister and Kochanski's retconned child."

Barclay: "So if each one is this big--"
Seven: "Excuse me, but you have your toupee on sideways again."

Janeway: "Barclay said what?"
Seven: "I can't really say it, but after telling him to check his hairpiece being on sideways, he took it off and flung it at the floor as if it were a cheap rug. I then indulged him by stomping on the it the way I do on the cheap rug in my quarters."
Janway: "That's terrible. I'll increase power to the replicator. Make a new rug immediately and taunt him with it since we're not sending him the source code to recompile at his terminal."

EMH: "You do realize it is not nice to covertly observe staff in their quarters."
Torres: "I know, but have you seen Barclay's rug?" (mimics Reg's hand gesture) "It's that small."

 

[Catarina]

Double update coming tomorrow! (the one I neglected plus this one)

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

EMH: "Do they all react that badly when you give them the bill?"