vfwcc #27: i grok tuvok

[Turd Ferguson]

"Captain, I believe I have an explanation for my hallucinations! In the late 20th, 21st centuries, fans of Star Trek created preposterous stories that violated show canon, brought dead characters back to life, killed characters who had crewmembers from the future serve on ships from the past! This phenomena is known as 'fanwank.' Now, if my theory is correct, Captain Sulu will have anal intercourse with Lt. Valtane on the conn station within the next five point two minutes..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Tuvok: "I never noticed Captain Sulu always having feathers falling out of his pantlegs the first time 'round."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mulgrew: "Like most of our episodes, this contest seems like it will never end ..."

 

[Alrik]

Tuvok: "Just one question Nelix. Who dresses you?"

*Whack*
Tuvok: "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
*Whack*
Tuvok: "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
*Whack*.......

Hazing...alive and well in the 24th Century

Janeway: "Assless chaps?"
Tuvok: "It appears so."
Janeway: "I've read my history, I guess I'm not that shocked. Now if it were Kirk on the other hand."

EMH: "What are you getting Tuvok?"

Tuvok: "Nothing. Absoulutely nothing. It is like white noise. How does this woman even function?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Neelix: "On Talax, grapefruit juice is actually processed testicles."

Tuvok finally found shit.

Tuvok: "I'll never understand how Rand got a commission after she melted two people in a transporter."

Kes (off camera): "Fanwank readings are off the scale."

The Doctor: "Dammit, Kes, I'm a doctor, not a fanfic writer!"

 

[Triskelion]

I'll change it out on the morrow, folks. Get your Neelix kicks in while you can.

 

[John Picard]

Sulu: (offscreen) "...buttsecks."
Janeway: "What did he say? I didn't catch that."
Tuvok: "Indeed. I'd rather not delve into that part of the memory."

 

[Shatmandu]

Putting Neelix out an airlock right after this wasn't logical, but it sure as shit felt good.

<Tuvok casually picks up blue vase, considers, then breaks it across Neelix's face.>

Neelix: "Kes showed me your medical records. You have 'RAMROD' tattooed across your lower stomach."

Neelix: "When we were Tuvix, I played with your testicles a lot."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Whats this about kicking Neelix?

Is there a sign up sheet?