Vader: Obi-Wan Kenobi killed in firefight

[Daneel]

So the Hutts are saying that they had no idea that Kenobi was living on Tattooine. Yeah right... his house was apparently just a stone's throw away from Mos Eisley. And no one ever noticed him?

Bull. They were totally sheltering that Jedi terrorist. There's such rampant disregard for galactic law on Tattooine. See, this is why we can't withdraw our troops from the Outer Rim Territories -- there's still a lot of work left to be done there.

Anyway, even though I would never celebrate someone's death, just knowing that Obi-Wan Kenobi is no longer a threat to anyone fills me with tremendous relief.

Long live the Empire!

 

[Canadave]

Funny article. Very clever.

The 'spam' in the comments is great.

Yeah, the comments were great. Very entertaining.

 

[Sean_McCormick]

Wouldn't the destruction of the Death Star actually dominate Coruscant's headlines, while the death of a Jedi Knight no one heard from for nearly 20 years would be but a footnote in the Empire's news service?

Sorry, I'm being a buzzkill, aren't I?

EDIT: Sorry, just read the article now. I didn't realize the full extent of this joke. Now I feel like an ass.

The Empire does not build planet-destroying-superweapons! Anyone claiming otherwise is a bloody liar and probably a terrorist or sympathiser.

Any upstanding citizen knows, that Alderaan was destroyed by an accident in a terrorist weapons lab!

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Just think, he actually was living in a cave in the desert.

 

[Nowhere Man]

The destruction of the Death Star was an inside job.

 

[Vonstadt]

Skeptic Kashyyykian

RRRRAAAAOOON RRRUN RRAAAOOUN!

Ruuuurnnn raawwwn rrun rawn rrrrun Darth Vader:

1. Rooooaarrn n rrrun rraaan rrun Obi Wan
2. RRaawwn rrooaaaaan rrun reeeaan Death Star
3. RRRooaann rrunnn reaaaan Paul Mitchell Dog Shampoo

RRRAWWNR RWAOOOON Raaaaaor

PS. Rooouuun ruuuaan

After reading four full pages of the comments..this one had me in stiched

Vons

 

[CaptMurdock]

Everybody is focusing on the wrong guy! Kenobi was just a figurehead -- the really dangerous guy was this little green dude who's been hanging out in a swamp for twenty years!

Look, I have his picture...