UK Trip Advise

I'm a Brummie.

I've always said there was something off about you slightly north of Birmingham types.

 

Yo ay alf roit there ar kid...!

 

Ah so you're one of those Southern Softies then? Who complain it's cold the instant the tempature drops below 10C?

 

Nope - highly cold adapted Celt with long red hair and beard. Well, grayish red now. Can't get along with hot weather and sunburn under electric light. If it wasn't for the freckles I'd be pale blue in hue !

 

Well I'll let you off then. This time.

 

Appreciated !

 

I went to a ceilidh there once and got hammered.

 

I actually quite like Birmingham.

 

Seriously though, if you're thinking of coming over Fife way or thereabouts, PM me. If you're looking for good nosebag in Glasgow, I can get a Weegie epicurean who's a minor legend in his own lunchtime on the job.

 

Are you trying to hook him up with a drug dealer?

 

Only in cynical-steal-any-word-to-mean-drugs land would 'nosebag' be considered anything other than food.

 

Never heard of it before.

 

I think we broke Squiggy's thread.

 

We can fix it. All we need is some double sided sellotape and some empty loo rolls.

 

That's such a British solution

 

the british solution is to hire a bunch of polish guys to fix it.

 

Just make sure you don't queue. Brits hate queuing.

And motorway service stations are culinary delight.

 

^I'm going to assume you were being sarcastic.

 

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Squiggy might also find this visual guide useful (Irvine Welsh linked to it on twitter). The Connery-to-Jobs letter is fackin' hilarious.