TWO-LINE POEMS

[Gil T.Azell]

Some of these are funny!

THESE ARE ACTUAL ENTRIES FOR A COMPETITION IN THE WASHINGTON POST WHICH ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE POEM WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I'm dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you're not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss;
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other,
---that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet & so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty...and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace:
But don't take the paper bag off of your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies.

9. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe, "Go to hell".

10.What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

 

[Australis]

Wow, no sexism here, then.

 

[Mr Silver]

Those are quite cool, a humorous suprise
This thread needs more than just 2 replies

 

[TorontoTrekker]

Wow, no sexism here, then.

Really? I'm only seeing two out of the ten that are gender-specific, and the gender of the poet is unspecified.

 

[scotpens]

I remember number 6 from my grammar-school days. But it’s still funny.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Wow, no sexism here, then.

I don't understand....

 

[iguana_tonante]

Wow, no sexism here, then.

Really? I'm only seeing two out of the ten that are gender-specific, and the gender of the poet is unspecified.

Since the reader in that instance is male, the subject of the poem must be female. I guess it's a case of self-pwning.

 

[ITL]

I prefer haiku
Something something autumn leaves
And cherry blossom

 

[Nowhere Man]

Roses are red violets are not
may all of your troubles fly away like snot.

 

[Australis]

tMeh to the lot o' yez.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Roses are red, violets are blue
All my base are belong to you

 

[tharpdevenport]

If I could re-arrange the alphabet...
I'd make sure "U" and "I" never met.

 

[auntiehill]

It is the Christmas season, the time for love and hope.
Wish I could've spent it with a guy who wasn't a dope.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

It's a merry white Christmas, I've put away the hankies,
'Cause Jeter and Mo are still with the Yankees.

 

[The Lady Eve]

Mon coeur, ma vie, mon âme, ma belle
Let's debate a blue nacelle.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I wanna hold you for the longest time...
Was nothing more than song quoting. Hey look -- I can rhyme!

 

[TorontoTrekker]

Wow, no sexism here, then.

Really? I'm only seeing two out of the ten that are gender-specific, and the gender of the poet is unspecified.

Since the reader in that instance is male, the subject of the poem must be female. I guess it's a case of self-pwning.

Yes, because nobody has ever written a poem to a person of the same sex as themselves.

(I remember one particularly hot poem I wrote to a guy I had a crush on in university. I didn't even know if he was gay or straight, but I didn't care. )

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Roses are red, violets are blue
All my base are belong to you

 

[tharpdevenport]

Baby, those pants would look really good on my floor...
The pants, and nothing more...

 

[Lookingglassman]

I see the blue bird singing
It distracts me from my phone ringing.