Trek XI Caption Contest #16: Frightening

[Rat Boy]

Oh why don't you people grow up, since it's time for another caption contest. First off, let me light the congratulatory candles for...

For the picture of Mrs. Kirk wondering why her son's eyes are blue, our winner is...

"Either that's the umbilical cord...or this kid's gonna be the most famous porn star in the quadrant when he's older."

And for George Kirk making his son Jim's "Buckle up" line all the more ironic later in the movie, our winner is...

This people is what is going to happen to the Trek XI forum when Star Trek hits theaters on May 8th. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Good advice. Finally, for the one of Kirk wondering who took a crap in the captain's chair, our winner is...

Kirk: Wood. I was expecting something more, you know, Danish modern.
McCoy: With time, Jim, with time.

Our obvious Photoshop winner:

And finally a special Multi Picture Caption award:

Doctor: It's a girl!!!
Kirks Mum: We have a beautiful baby girl!!
Doctor: Wait a minute, is that a penis?
Kirks Mum: It is! It's a tiny schmeckle! *wiggles little finger*

After watching the birth of his lesser endoued son, Kirk Sr attempts to wear a skin tight cat suit to show off his package. Unfortunetly for him, not only did it apparently cripple him, but it didn't show off his package.

Kirk: *looking down* "My schmeckle HAS got bigger you know...
Sulu: I'll bet!

Congratulations to the winners and here are our updated totals:

Nerys Myk - 4
middyseafort - 4
cooleddie74 - 4
Outpost4 - 4
Amasov - 3
Piper - 3
Herkimer Jitty - 3
M'Sharak - 2
seigezunt - 2
Woulfe - 2
Kirby - 2
Civil Shadow - 2
B.J. - 2
Hartzilla2007 - 2
SalvorHardin - 2
26138 - 1
jptrekker - 1
Alpha_Geek - 1
The Squire of Gothos - 1
Zachary_Smith - 1
Plum - 1
3 of 11 - 1
jongredic - 1
Super Grover - 1
Candlelight - 1
Gertch - 1
trampledamage - 1
T'Aerwynd - 1
shivkala - 1
Jackson_Roykirk - 1
The Badger - 1
Captain Zog - 1
BriGuy - 1
Skywalker - 1
J. Allen - 1
Classic Fan - 1
Alrik - 1
Lashmore - 1
Aragorn - 1
John Picard - 1
Samurai8472 - 1
Jimmy_C - 1
Cky - 1

This week, we dip back into the second trailer for two shots. First is McCoy about five second before he regrets pointing out they don't have a captain or a first officer. The second is perhaps the most awkward hug in Trek history next to Kirk and David Marcus. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Join Starfleet, they said. See the galaxy, they said. I should've gone into private practice; at least there the nurses don't try to eat you after mating."

Spock went to any lengths to ensure that people who found out never revealed his first name.

 

[John Picard]

McCoy: "We're gonna need a bigger ship."

Spock: "No Vulcan has ever had, as you say, 'some chocolate'. I look forward to the experience."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy wonders if he should tell his new shipmates about the nickname he had in med school...

*Fifty Years Later...*

McCoy: "Did I ever tell you my nickname in med school was 'Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy?"

Kirk: "No, but I think most of us guessed it a long time ago."

Spock: "I sure as hell did."

 

[Misfit Toy]

"His schmeckle hasn't grown. Pass it on."

 

[John Picard]

McCoy: "Yes, I'm the Doctor, but I don't have a clue about this *TARDIS* you keep asking about."

 

[Rat Boy]

Urban: "Hold on a second. Most of us as action cred. I found orcs and demon zombies, Simon's fought zombies, Zoe's fought pirate zombies, and Zach eats people's brains. What have you done?"

Pine: "I, uh, kissed Anne Hathaway."

*pause*

Urban: "Welcome aboard."

 

[Hartzilla2007]

McCoy: Damnit Jim! I'm a doctor not a motivational speaker!

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock (thinking): She's frightened; like I didn't see that one coming.

 

[John Picard]

Unfortunately for Spock, he would not enter Pon Farr for another 5 years, 7 months, and 17 days. So, a hug was all he could manage.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock (thinking): Fascinating. All I had to do was pick her keys out of a bowl.

 

[Samurai8472]

Uhura- I'm scared!

Spock- fear not, for Harry Knowles Star Trek XI review will be a plant

 

[cubbie]

Spock: Uhura, could I borrow some of your blue eyeshadow? I'm out.

 

[Franklin]

(A) Spock (to himself): It moved! Fascinating.

(B) Spock (thinking): Just hold on for 4 years, 7 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours, 57 minutes, and 27 seconds more, then SCORE!

(C) Spock (thinking): I just don't see what Jim sees in doing this.

(D) Turned out the Trek fundies were right. JJ screwed up everything, especially the Vulcan neck pinch.

 

[cooleddie74]

"That does it, Jim.

I'm signing OFF this stupid ship. The Tellurian Plague is one thing.

Spock walking around during his off-hours with no pants is another."

UHURA:"You smell like rubber latex, Vitalis and nerd..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I should have listened to my old girlfriend Nancy.

JOIN THE TRAVELING SEX SHOWS ON ORION PRIME, she said.

Boy, was I a deaf moron."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "You do realize that all this glass around here is just an accident waiting to happen."

 

[Neutrino]

McCoy: That green blooded son of a bitch left us without a commanding officer.

Spock: I'm afraid I have a confession to make, my name isn't really Spock, my name is Sylar and i've been alive for over 260 years. I kill people and take their powers and now I want yours...

 

[Franklin]

(A) Spock (to himself): Interesting. Much gentler. Far softer to the touch. Now I know why Father was attracted to human women.

(B) Uhura: There, there, Spock. It'll be OK. You're not the first humanoid to have his home world blow up.

(C) Things were going fine for Spock until when things got hotter, he accidentally called Uhura, "Christine."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock wonders if he has a sexual harassment claim in this.