Trek XI Caption Contest #14: School's Back in Session

[Rat Boy]

With a little over two months to go before the film is released, we're now in the home stretch and until the new trailer drops this weekend, we'll tide you over with another caption contest. First, as always, let us turn our attention to...

For the picture of young Kirk wondering he's being given a time out by Captain Pike, our winner is...

Kirk: "Me. Join Star Fleet. Right. That's about as likely to happen as me becoming Captain of YOUR ship."

For the picture of Uhura blissfully unaware that she'll become Kirk's glorified secretary for the next thirty years, our winner is...

~When will he realise every chick just smiles politely when they don't really care?~

Finally, the Photoshop winner:

Out-Of-It Kirk: I can't believe I kissed you, man.
Leather Kirk: If this is your lifelong ambition, I'm driving another vintage car into a quarry. Sans life-saving jump.

Congratulations to the winners and here are our updated totals:

Nerys Myk - 4
middyseafort - 4
Amasov - 3
Outpost4 - 3
cooleddie74 - 3
Piper - 3
M'Sharak - 2
seigezunt - 2
Woulfe - 2
Kirby - 2
Herkimer Jitty - 2
Civil Shadow - 2
26138 - 1
jptrekker - 1
Alpha_Geek - 1
The Squire of Gothos - 1
Zachary_Smith - 1
Plum - 1
3 of 11 - 1
jongredic - 1
Super Grover - 1
Candlelight - 1
B.J. - 1
Gertch - 1
trampledamage - 1
T'Aerwynd - 1
shivkala - 1
Hartzilla2007 - 1
Jackson_Roykirk - 1
The Badger - 1
Captain Zog - 1
BriGuy - 1
Skywalker - 1
J. Allen - 1
SalvorHardin - 1
Classic Fan - 1
Alrik - 1
Lashmore - 1

This week, we get set up for the next and final trailer that'll be officially released online one week from today. First off is a continuation of last week's theme, with Captain Pike telling Kirk he once saw his father beat up a dozen cadets in a bar without breaking a sweat. Next, we have Hollywood's favorite target for alien invasions and giant death rays these days: San Francisco. Finally, we have a bonus picture of director J.J. Abrams answering questions at Wondercon. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Pike: "Beeping?"

Cadet: "Oh, don't worry, the planetary deflector shield should...

*beam penetrates shield*

"Okay then, we're screwed."

Try as he might, J.J. Abrams couldn't figure out a way to sneak in lightsabers.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Pike: Butt-headed aliens, you say? A life of illusion, you say? Get outta here, kid.

Moments before the biggest Red Shirt death toll in the history of Starfleet.

Abrams (thinking) : I really should've had a V8.

 

[Samurai8472]

Abrams (thinking) : to rape the franchise or not?

Can you find Waldo?

 

[Rat Boy]

Sadly, this was the only reason the Orion cadet agreed to sleep with Kirk.

 

[FabiusMaximus]

"No, it's Pike not Dyke..." (This kid is really botherin' me, man)

"Roddenberry was wrong! There is a God and he's pissed!!!"

"Hmmm... good question... if I were a tree, what kind of tree would I be?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the real reason Captain Pike was in a wheelchair:

Pike: "Who the hell's this 'Robau' bitch?"

Cadets: "Shit! Tell those The Core guys to stop filming! We're in the middle of filming Star Trek!"

Abrams: "I wonder... if I come up with a caption to my own picture, will it cause a causality paradox and destroy the entire universe? But more importantly... could I put a Slusho reference in it?"

 

[Rat Boy]

J.J. patiently waits as security escorts out an irate William Shatner.

 

[Alrik]

Thanks so much for the win.

Pike: "That's right kid. I think that if you join Star Fleet, you can become a real team player and a follow the rules kind of guy."

P.A Announcer: "Cadets, run away from the light.......no the other away!"

JJ: "Hmm, I hadn't thought about that. Being that this is a time travel film, could there be a cross over with Lost? Interesting."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Best graduating class prank ever!

 

[Cky]

Pike: "Save those little shits? I think not."

*10 seconds earlier, in space*

Kirk: "A red button with "Do not touch" written on it... What's the worst that can happen?

JJ: "I ran over 16 disgruntled, canon screaming trekkies today... Personal record? JJ says yes!"

 

[Rat Boy]

J.J. Abrams: "How can they do a caption contest when no one's seen the movie?"

Rat Boy (off camera): "Hell, I haven't seen half of Voyager and I still make fun of it."

 

[cooleddie74]

"No, young man.

I was never in any motion picture film called GOODFELLAS. You must be thinking of...

someone else."

(*Winces sadly*)

ACADEMY COMMANDANT:"Dammit...will someone PLEASE call the Xindi again and tell them we SETTLED THIS SHIT EIGHTY YEARS AGO?!?"

"No...Jennifer Garner does NOT swallow.


Next?"

 

[cooleddie74]

CADET:"That does it...from here on out I'm taking online courses!!!"

 

[Alrik]

"Star Trek.

Trek.

T-R-E-K. Trek.

Not Track."

"Okay. NOW it makes sense."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I forsee you will become a great Poontang Knight..."

"No. I wasn't in SUPERBAD.

For the last time, I am not McLOVIN."

 

[Alrik]

Thinking: "I wonder if anyone would notice a few Storm Troopers?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"GREAT.

Now where I am I going to take Orion slave chicks to bang when my mom's home?"

 

[Alrik]

"No son, I'm afraid booty chasing is not an Academy accredited course."

 

[Alrik]

"Come to San Fransisco he said. Enjoy the excitement of the Academy he said. Next time I see him, I'm kicking him sqare in the nuts."