Trek comic caption contest #4: States of Undress

[F. King Daniel]

Previously on Star Trek: The Comic Caption Contest...

Spock Prime: "Quickly, Jim; this way! And why are you wearing sneakers on an ice planet?"
Kirk: (sotto voce) "I just figured it out, Spock...I don't necessarily need to outrun the monster; just YOU!"

Spock: "I love you, but I hate you."

Bugs: *Angry bug noises*

Spock: "Damn, I was hoping that would work again."

Klingon: "...and this "hurling faeces" you speak of. An intriguing technique - but is it an honourable attack?"

Ape: "We've never had any complaints, sir. We think most of our foes were too embarrassed".

Klingon: "The Empire will update its tactics accordingly".

And an awesome double win:

McCoy: Oh God. Nurse Chaple just beat the hell out of me.
But, if I tell... (whmper) oh god.

Kirk (off-screen): Bones? What happen--

Bones: I fell down some stairs!

YOU ARE ALL...

-----

And now..."States of Undress"

 

[kkozoriz1]

Y M C A!

 

[Daddy Todd]

Y M C A!

And we have a winner, folks!

 

[Christopher]

CAROL: "I keep telling you, Jim! You can't reprogram the simulator to cheat on a pregnancy test!"
KIRK: "Watch me!"

INTERCOM: "Captain Picard to the bridge! Emergency!"
PICARD: "The hell with that! I'm having too much fun bouncing on my new waterbed!"

ORION: "Why so surprised? This is the traditional ending for an Orion lap dance!"
KIRK: "I thought that was just Marta!"

ENSEMBLE FOR THE STARFLEET PRODUCTION OF THE FULL MONTY (singing): "Beezoooeeezzz or beezoooain't my baby?"

 

[JD]

Oh, no Picard is about to give us the whole Britney Spears.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Damn it, another trip to sick bay! Stupid blue pills!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ROMULAN COMMANDER: Beam off their clothes! Its the only way to find the human spy!

 

[JD]

Ok, am I the only one wondering what the guy on the right is doing?

 

[kkozoriz1]

Boldly going where no man has gone before.

 

[SicOne]

]

CAROL: "Where are you going, why are you leaving, after all that we've been through?...Won't you think of me, I'll think of you, don't throw it all away!...I'll quit my job, I'll have your children, you'll work hard, I'll spend your millions! Hey, no pressure, you've got time, just DON'T MAKE ME WAIT!!!" (with apologies to Meredith Brooks)

KIRK: "Sweet jumpin' Jeezus...Kirk to Enterprise, ONE to beam up!"

PICARD: "Merde! Pissed the bed again! Gotta watch that Chateau Picard 2343; does it every time... Getting older sucks!"

COMPUTER: "Captain, excessive moisture sensors indicate that you have pissed the bed yet again. You must watch that Chateau Picard 2343; it does it to you every single time. You're not getting any younger, you know."

ORION: "Why haven't you called me! You know how jealous that makes us Orion women!"

KIRK: "Motherfu-"

"We LOVE our group-sized Barbarella-style Orgasmotron! Hit us again, Scotty!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win.

Carol: "Now don't be angry, Jim, but I just spoke to Admiral Nogura, and he complemented me most flirtingly on my dress...Jim, I said don't be angry!"

Kirk: "Kirk SMASH!!!"

"Captain's log, stardate 2844.5. The patented "blankie" technology suggested by Mr. La Forge seems to have been effective. I have remained safe and secure all night, and sensors currently reveal no sign of the boogeyman aboard".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Orion: "See?! Termites! And you told me, quite specifically, that Mr. Spock's entomology lab was totally secure!"

Kirk: "It's your own fault for having a wooden cutlass! What sort of assassin are you, anyway?!"

 

[Christopher]

^Why would there be termites in a lab devoted to word origins? Methinks you meant "entomology," the study of insects.

 

[SicOne]

^ cue the meaty thwack of a nun's ruler across a recalcitrant student's hands

 

[Deranged Nasat]

^Why would there be termites in a lab devoted to word origins? Methinks you meant "entomology," the study of insects.

D'oh. Yeah, typo. Never caption while tired or you make silly mistakes like that. I'll edit in a correction.

 

[Christopher]

Second try:

LANDING PARTY: "Scotty! Enough with the practical jokes! Now beam our uniforms down!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "What the hell kind of wedding is this anyway?"
Spock: "Betazoid, sir."

 

[Thrawn]

"Captain's log, stardate 2844.5. The patented "blankie" technology suggested by Mr. La Forge seems to have been effective. I have remained safe and secure all night, and sensors currently reveal no sign of the boogeyman aboard".

Ok,

 

[LightningStorm]

Orion: EEEEEEEK a mouse!!

Kirk OMFG!! WHERE??

 

[SeerSGB]

Spock: Captain, why does that sign say "K/S SlashCon 2365""?

Kirk: Shut up and run!