Trek Books that are just horrible -- new and old

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Though in Dreadnought I couldn't help but think when Piper goes to rescue Kirk and co. And instead find they escaped on their own, that if she hadn't stopped to go on abou her Academy paper no one really cares about she might not have missed them escaping and got left on Vice Admiral nutbag's ship.

Piper is one of the most obvious Mary Sues ever, so it was rather refreshing to see that she can actually mess up.

One Trek book that was a huge letdown and awful as well is Enterprise: The First Adventure.

There were a lot of things off character and the story for the first time Kirk captained the Enterprise was just over-the-top silly.

Yeah, I'm sure the time when the bridge was overrun by a swarm of POODLES was not exactly a high point in Kirk's life.

As for horrible books: Anything written by Myrshak & Culbreath. I couldn't even finish those damn Phoenix novels.

 

[Reanok]

One Trek book that was a huge letdown and awful as well is Enterprise: The First Adventure.

There were a lot of things off character and the story for the first time Kirk captained the Enterprise was just over-the-top silly.

Yeah that book was a real letdown all of the crew seemed written out of Character. And Kirk acted like a jerk.

 

[GeorgeKirk]

I'm surprised we've gone this many pages without anyone mentioning Windows On A Lost World. If you just read the description on the back cover it doesn't look so bad; just one of those bland early-90s Star Trek novels that probably reads like it was written by Michael Jan Friedman on Quaaludes.

But then you actually crack the cover and quickly discover that it's one of the bats**t craziest things ever. I mean, this is a story where Captain Kirk and Mr. Chekov are transformed into giant alien crabs. I repeat: Kirk and Chekov are transformed into Giant. Alien. Crabs. Remember how we all thought Brannon Braga was nuts for writing a story where Captain Janeway and Tom Paris turn into giant salamanders? Well, this was written a full three years earlier! It's the "Threshold" of the novel-verse!

Sure, Diane Carey may have written a story where the only thing that can snap an out-of-character Picard out of an existential funk is to go watch "Balance Of Terror: The Holodeck Version" and fawn over how awesome Captain Kirk is. Murshak & Culbreath may have written stories inferring that Star Trek was really all about Kirk and Spock's unconsummated lust for each other. But none of those people ever turned the characters into giant alien crabs.

I would love to know the story of how this one got approved.

 

[Christopher]

I'm surprised we've gone this many pages without anyone mentioning Windows On A Lost World. If you just read the description on the back cover it doesn't look so bad; just one of those bland early-90s Star Trek novels that probably reads like it was written by Michael Jan Friedman on Quaaludes.

But then you actually crack the cover and quickly discover that it's one of the bats**t craziest things ever. I mean, this is a story where Captain Kirk and Mr. Chekov are transformed into giant alien crabs. I repeat: Kirk and Chekov are transformed into Giant. Alien. Crabs.

That's exactly what I like about it. V.E. Mitchell was very good at building interesting alien species with their own distinctive biology and psychology, and this was a great chance to explore one from the inside. Sure, it's a crazy idea, but that's why it's fun. As you say, it's certainly not one of the bland ones.

 

[Jedi_Master]

Gulliver's Fugitives by Keith Sharee (1990)

Wow. What a wacko book that was!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

But none of those people ever turned the characters into giant alien crabs.

I would love to know the story of how this one got approved.

"Well, it's like this, the crabs are all over the crew of the Enterprise, and..."

<door slam!>

 

[Christopher]

Gulliver's Fugitives by Keith Sharee (1990)

Wow. What a wacko book that was!

Really? That's one of my favorites. A nifty anti-censorship allegory with some wildly imaginative ideas.

 

[Jedi_Master]

Gulliver's Fugitives by Keith Sharee (1990)

Wow. What a wacko book that was!

Really? That's one of my favorites. A nifty anti-censorship allegory with some wildly imaginative ideas.

As they say "to each their own". I thought it was very poorly written, very inconsistent (as to be expected of an early tie-in novel) and just too far out in left field.

 

[publiusr]

I read Dyson Sphere, a sequel novel to the episode "Relics", and found it to be quite bizarre and pointless. I also tried Heart of the Sun by the same author (or co-author), George Zebrowski, and found it to be just plain pointless. I only tried each book one time though, a number of years ago. May have been too hasty. Anyone have opinions?

I loved it for its scope myself.

Killing Time, also a fun slashtastic read is better remembered for it's homoerotic content, but I think KT is a lot less bold and daring in the man-love than Marshak and Culbreath's work.

Are you referring to the first or second (and more available version) printing? Since "Killing Time"'s original printing had more of the slash content.

Wssn't there a similar (adult) story, where the crew is stranded on yet another Greek Roman revival planet--the Enterprise trashed and fixed back up--all prior to ST:TMP?

 

[JWolf]

One Trek book that was a huge letdown and awful as well is Enterprise: The First Adventure.

There were a lot of things off character and the story for the first time Kirk captained the Enterprise was just over-the-top silly.

Yeah that book was a real letdown all of the crew seemed written out of Character. And Kirk acted like a jerk.

That's a great summary. Thanks.

 

[borgboy]

I read Dyson Sphere, a sequel novel to the episode "Relics", and found it to be quite bizarre and pointless. I also tried Heart of the Sun by the same author (or co-author), George Zebrowski, and found it to be just plain pointless. I only tried each book one time though, a number of years ago. May have been too hasty. Anyone have opinions?

I loved it for its scope myself.

Killing Time, also a fun slashtastic read is better remembered for it's homoerotic content, but I think KT is a lot less bold and daring in the man-love than Marshak and Culbreath's work.

Are you referring to the first or second (and more available version) printing? Since "Killing Time"'s original printing had more of the slash content.

Wssn't there a similar (adult) story, where the crew is stranded on yet another Greek Roman revival planet--the Enterprise trashed and fixed back up--all prior to ST:TMP?

That doesn't sound familiar to me. Anybody recognize that?

 

[tomswift2002]

"Dyson Sphere" I enjoyed very much.

As for the Greek-Roman planet, the only other story I can think of is TNG #8 "Captain's Honor' featuring a Constitution-class ship full of those people from the planet seen in "Bread And Circuses".

 

[borgboy]

So Captain's Honor has homoerotic subtext? Am I understanding this right? Can anyone elaborate on the details a bit, such as who this is done with, how, etc.

 

[Christopher]

^No, The Captains' Honor doesn't have any homoerotic subtext that I know of. And it's a TNG novel, so it's certainly not the pre-TMP novel that publiusr described. The only point of commonality it has with that description is the use of a Roman planet (specifically the one from "Bread and Circuses").

The only Pocket novels I can think of that involve the Enterprise getting trashed and repaired pre-TMP are Black Fire and Prime Directive. Neither of those featured a Greco-Roman planet. Although Black Fire does involve Spock seemingly defecting to the Romulans, who I believe were portrayed in a rather pseudo-Roman way. And I wouldn't call it an "adult" novel, but there is some hurt/comfort content between Spock and a female alien. So maybe that's what publiusr is trying to remember. But the crew isn't stranded anywhere.

 

[Steve Roby]

I'm Canadian and don't really understand what is meant by "libertarianism."

Libertarianism is the idea that you can get rid of pretty much all government, taxation, and publicly funded activities and have a society that functions based on contracts between individuals. It's the flipside of communism and about as likely to work in the real world. Strangely enough, for a movement opposed to government power and coercion, some libertarians really love the military.

Diane Carey's New Earth books are political in that they are a rejection of Federation government (i.e., American-style liberal democracy) in favour of radically individualist libertarianism. As far as I can tell (based on her books and her comments at a con a long time ago), she likes the original Star Trek because it's more military. The more civilian Starfleet of TNG and beyond, and the greater importance of Federation politics in those shows, turned her off. You can see some of that at work in Ship of the Line, too.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I'm Canadian and don't really understand what is meant by "libertarianism."

It's just another word for "anarchy".

 

[Idran]

Not exactly; left-libertarianism basically, yeah, but right-libertarianism also includes a market to apportion natural resources and a belief in private property rights and self-ownership, all of which anarchism lacks. The cornerstone of both is a weak or missing government, but libertarianism can still include other hierarchical power structures while anarchism rejects all such. It's just that under right-libertarianism, that power structure is concentrated in private industry instead of public institutions under the belief that businesses that provide poorly for the people will fail under a free market.

And in America at least, when someone says libertarian nowadays, they almost always mean right-libertarian, which definitely isn't fully anarchic.

 

[Timewalker]

I'm surprised we've gone this many pages without anyone mentioning Windows On A Lost World. If you just read the description on the back cover it doesn't look so bad; just one of those bland early-90s Star Trek novels that probably reads like it was written by Michael Jan Friedman on Quaaludes.

But then you actually crack the cover and quickly discover that it's one of the bats**t craziest things ever. I mean, this is a story where Captain Kirk and Mr. Chekov are transformed into giant alien crabs. I repeat: Kirk and Chekov are transformed into Giant. Alien. Crabs.

That's exactly what I like about it. V.E. Mitchell was very good at building interesting alien species with their own distinctive biology and psychology, and this was a great chance to explore one from the inside. Sure, it's a crazy idea, but that's why it's fun. As you say, it's certainly not one of the bland ones.

It's different. And very creepy. That's why it's memorable.

"Dyson Sphere" I enjoyed very much.

As for the Greek-Roman planet, the only other story I can think of is TNG #8 "Captain's Honor' featuring a Constitution-class ship full of those people from the planet seen in "Bread And Circuses".

The character Sejanus is obviously a reference to the fact that Patrick Stewart played the villainous Lucius Aelius Sejanus in the British miniseries I, Claudius. That's the first role I ever saw him in.

It's a way to introduce people to historical drama who wouldn't otherwise be interested in it, though. The pitch I made to my friends was along the lines of "Would you like to see Patrick Stewart in a Roman historical miniseries? He's got hair and wears a miniskirt..." (yeah, I know it's really a tunic)

My friends' reaction: "Yeah! "

So we spent a weekend watching my I, Claudius tapes.

I'm Canadian and don't really understand what is meant by "libertarianism."

Libertarianism is the idea that you can get rid of pretty much all government, taxation, and publicly funded activities and have a society that functions based on contracts between individuals. It's the flipside of communism and about as likely to work in the real world. Strangely enough, for a movement opposed to government power and coercion, some libertarians really love the military.

Diane Carey's New Earth books are political in that they are a rejection of Federation government (i.e., American-style liberal democracy) in favour of radically individualist libertarianism. As far as I can tell (based on her books and her comments at a con a long time ago), she likes the original Star Trek because it's more military. The more civilian Starfleet of TNG and beyond, and the greater importance of Federation politics in those shows, turned her off. You can see some of that at work in Ship of the Line, too.

That makes it clearer, thanks.

 

[publiusr]

The Honor Harrington books are full of it--that type of thing, I mean.

 

[TheUsualSuspect]

Killing Time, also a fun slashtastic read is better remembered for it's homoerotic content, but I think KT is a lot less bold and daring in the man-love than Marshak and Culbreath's work.

Are you referring to the first or second (and more available version) printing? Since "Killing Time"'s original printing had more of the slash content.

Wssn't there a similar (adult) story, where the crew is stranded on yet another Greek Roman revival planet--the Enterprise trashed and fixed back up--all prior to ST:TMP?

This seemed vaguely familiar . . .

I think it's referring to an old fanfic called "Spock Enslaved" by Diane Steiner. It's mentioned in a chapter about ST fan fiction in Star Trek Lives! by Jacqueline Lichtenberg, Sondra Marshak, and Joan Winston. According to the book, in the story the Enterprise is badly damaged and presumed destroyed, and Kirk, Spock, McCoy and about a third of the crew become slaves on a planet that resembles ancient Greece or Rome. Some of the excerpts look a bit slashy, although it also says that Spock falls in love with a native woman who is also a slave.

Star Trek Lives! was published in 1975, so the story must have been written even earlier.