Transporter protocols

[Stag]

Do you ever wonder if there are unspoken transporter protocols in modern TREK. I say modern TREK because by the TNG era the transporter can pretty beam anything anywhere.

What I am trying to get at is-- are their rules as to where you can and can't beam to?
What is bad transporter etiquette?
When making first contact with a species, you must always beam to this type of location?
When beaming to your girlfriend's house, never beam straight into the bedroom?
Always urinate before beaming?
Wait 20 minutes after eating before beaming?

I wonder what the unwritten transporter rules could be.

 

[greenmystik]

I always wondered how they knew who to transport. Every time someone would say "four to beam up" how do they know what four your talking about?

 

[Dr_Daystrom]

Always have clean underwear on when transporting.

No holding hands while transporting.

Never pick your nose while transporting.

 

[Michael]

Always have clean underwear on when beaming.

Eh, shouldn't that be protocol for EVERY situation?

 

[Dr_Daystrom]

Always have clean underwear on when beaming.

Eh, shouldn't that be protocol for EVERY situation?

Yes, but you know what mothers say about things like driving, transporting, etc. Always have clean underwear on because you never know when you'll get in an accident.

 

[Dr_Daystrom]

Oh, I forgot the most important one of all...

No farting while transporting!

 

[Stag]

"Chief, why is the Admiral's transport taking so long?"

"Sorry sir, the transporter picked up a gaseous anomoly and quarantined his signal in the pattern buffer."

"Chief, take a look at the coordinates...where are we beaming the Admiral up from?"

"Sorry sir, I did not realize it was Paco's House of Taco's, I'll complete the transport."

"Thanks Chief, oh and right after the Admiral materializes...light a match"

 

[Luckyflux]

"Chief, why is the Admiral's transport taking so long?"

"Sorry sir, the transporter picked up a gaseous anomoly and quarantined his signal in the pattern buffer."

"Chief, take a look at the coordinates...where are we beaming the Admiral up from?"

"Sorry sir, I did not realize it was Paco's House of Taco's, I'll complete the transport."

"Thanks Chief, oh and right after the Admiral materializes...light a match"

HA!!! That is great! Of course it jsut blew my cover at work and the boss is wondering what the heck I am doing at my desk...

I always wanted to see Riker beam a cream pie down the corridor and hit Worf as a joke.

 

[dougkeenan]

One of the Slan was a natural teleporter, who emptied another's bowels outside to spare a bathroom break. Why bother with tribbles to the enemy's engine room if you could instantly transport a crew's worth of shat?

 

[Dr_Daystrom]

 

[Timo]

I always wondered how they knew who to transport. Every time someone would say "four to beam up" how do they know what four your talking about?

That's always intrigued me, too.

Perhaps it has to do with tradition. Why do we answer the phone in Hungarian? The first users of the transporter might have had a valid reason for merely specifying the number of transportees (perhaps out of a well-ordered test group or something), and the expression would then have stuck.

Perhaps it's just a friendly reminder for the transporter operator to make sure that he includes everybody - that he initiates all the five containment fields for all the five people who are coming up. The operator might very well see on his or her screen the ID tags of the people coming up, and would not require any assistance in deciding whom to take and whom to leave, but protocol calls for confirming the number of ACBs to be fired up.

When the number of people coming up differs from the expected value, one would really expect the leading transportee to specifically tell "Leave Dr. McCoy behind, and no dessert for him today, either". But we might argue that in most situations, our McCoy would be standing well apart from the leading transportee, and the operator would easily see this when aligning his gear. I don't really recall any incident where the operator would truly have needed exact information to decide whom to take from a tighly spaced group.

The odder thing is that, apparently, the operator should have a pretty detailed view of the transportees through his equipment whenever he's locked to the transportees. Why isn't this capability used more often to allow the starship to closely monitor the proceedings down below? If Scotty can usually exercise enough initiative to choose the right three to beam up, how come he can't tell Kirk is being coerced in, say, "Bread and Circuses" or "Omega Glory"? How come he doesn't notice that Kirk is not delirious with fever but in fact standing steadily close to Tracey in the latter episode?

Timo Saloniemi

 

[Dr_Daystrom]

I always wondered how they knew who to transport. Every time someone would say "four to beam up" how do they know what four your talking about?

That's always intrigued me, too.

Perhaps it has to do with tradition. Why do we answer the phone in Hungarian? The first users of the transporter might have had a valid reason for merely specifying the number of transportees (perhaps out of a well-ordered test group or something), and the expression would then have stuck.

Perhaps it's just a friendly reminder for the transporter operator to make sure that he includes everybody - that he initiates all the five containment fields for all the five people who are coming up. The operator might very well see on his or her screen the ID tags of the people coming up, and would not require any assistance in deciding whom to take and whom to leave, but protocol calls for confirming the number of ACBs to be fired up.

When the number of people coming up differs from the expected value, one would really expect the leading transportee to specifically tell "Leave Dr. McCoy behind, and no dessert for him today, either". But we might argue that in most situations, our McCoy would be standing well apart from the leading transportee, and the operator would easily see this when aligning his gear. I don't really recall any incident where the operator would truly have needed exact information to decide whom to take from a tighly spaced group.

The odder thing is that, apparently, the operator should have a pretty detailed view of the transportees through his equipment whenever he's locked to the transportees. Why isn't this capability used more often to allow the starship to closely monitor the proceedings down below? If Scotty can usually exercise enough initiative to choose the right three to beam up, how come he can't tell Kirk is being coerced in, say, "Bread and Circuses" or "Omega Glory"? How come he doesn't notice that Kirk is not delirious with fever but in fact standing steadily close to Tracey in the latter episode?

Timo Saloniemi

I believe it was more basic (you touched on it when you mentioned Dr. McCoy). Usually everyone who was transporting would cluster together, as if they were on a transporter pad. The transporter operator would beam up everyone in close proximity to the person who called for the beam out (equaling the number stated).

 

[raleighrob]

"Keep Hands In Beam At All Times"
Hah!