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TOS Temporary Caption Contest #8: Confrontation!

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McCoy: "No, beam me directly to Sick Bay. I got the clap again."




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Kirk: "What. <SLAP> Have. <BACKHAND> I. <SLAP> Told. <BACKHAND> You. <SLAP> About. <BACKHAND> Quoting. <SLAP> Saturday. <BACKHAND> Night. <SLAP> Live. <BACKHAND> Around. <SLAP> Me? <KIRK ASSPUNCH>



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The first time a woman actually rejected James T. Kirk was devastating.
 
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Shatner:"Ha ha! Thought you could stop me, eh? Thought that, after all these years, I might just let it go, might just stand aside and let someone else reap the glory, huh? Well, take this! I'm still number one, I'm the Shat, and I'M GONNA BE IN THIS MOVIE! Ha ha! Let me through!"

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Shatner(in barely suppressed rage): "Fine. Fine. I'll leave. But you see this? This in my hand? This is Pine appeal. Yeah, that much, that's all. Shat appeal? Huge. Massive. Chew on that, you b*****ds"
 
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McCoy: "And I want another two bottles of that green stuff I had earlier- and I want both worms left in this time, understand?- and a stack of 'em "Underage Ardanans in Undies" magazines- and they'd better be fully intact, you understand? Oh, and payment? Starfleet's boys will guarantee my privilege here, you take my meaning?"

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Plasus: "Does your officer have no shame, Captain?"

Kirk: "I can assure you, sir, he will be disciplined. We're as surprised and disappointed as you".
 
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McCoy: "Yeah, Spock's drooling all over the blonde and Jim's having some rough S&M with the crazy brunette. This planet sucks."
 
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McCoy: Can someone come to my quarters help me. I've accidently mixed up my heart pills and dick pills again.
 
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Kirk: Seriously guys, I just don't see where digital TV is any better than analog.
McCoy: I wonder if we can take it back to Best Buy?
Spock (thinking): Damn, there go my bonus points.
 
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McCoy had to call for help after he mixed up his Visine with Scotty's superglue.
 
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McCoy, drunk-dialing at 3 am: "Hey, Chapel, come by my quarters. I wanna show you my etchings."
Chapel, filtered: "Fuck off."




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Kirk: "Before we leave, I just wanted you to know, I totally could have taken you in that fight. That gas stuff held me back."
Plasus: "Whatever, dude. I'm sixty and held my own."
 
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PLASUS: Yes Jerry, my Droxine became pregnant around the time the Enterprise arrived.

JERRY (Off Screen) We'll be back to find out who's the Daddy, after these messages.

KIRK: For once it wasn't me!!!!!

SPOCK: I rebuffed her advances.

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MCCOY: One to beam up, Sulu break orbit when I get there. Warp Nine!
 
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Plasus: "I'm sorry, but the cost of the towels and the bathrobes will be added to your bill, and ..."
Kirk: "Oh, that's a bunch of shit ..."


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Plasus: "And, Captain, the price of the ... films ... the three of you ordered are correct. Regular movies are one price, special movies are another."
Spock: "But your daughter, while in my room, ordered it."
 
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