TOS Temporary Caption Contest #8: Confrontation!

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Very nice. Contest #7 had exactly what I love about these things: bits develop out of left field, and suddenly you have Conway Twitty and Grignak breaking bread or Spock and Data backing Twitty. Group creativity is interesting to watch happen.

Anyhoot, here are this week's starting points:

And a bonus with a high difficulty level:

Joe, electric boogaloo

 

[KirkusOveractus]

"And you see, Captain, when I move the camera up this way, you can't tell that I'm really not wearing any pants!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Look, Room Service, I asked for an ocean view, and if I don't get it, I'll call my ship and have them phaser this place to dust. My name is Captain James T. Kirk, and I'm in Room 1202."
<shuts communicator, giggles>

Plasus: "My Droxine is in tears. My doctors tell me she has had some kind of nerve pinch?"

Kirk: "STOP USING YOUR LEFT HAND! IT'S THE HAND OF SATAN!"

Kirk, spinning: "WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP ..."

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy, drunkly: What da hell ya want now fatboy?

Kirk: How dare you fuck Uhura before I did!

Kirk: I usually never miss with my patented "Ass Punch"!

Guy on Monitor: Can I come around from behind this wall?

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, slurring: "No, no, make it two Spanish broads. Two. And fat ones."

Kirk: "LOGICAL! <slap> FASCINATING! <backhand> LOGICAL! <slap> FASCINATING! <backhand> LOGICAL! <slap> FASCINATING! <backhand> ..."

Plasus: "My daughter is fifteen. I've begun negotiations to have your Mister Spock turned over to our authority."
Spock: "This is bullshit."

McCoy: "He's dead, Jim."
Kirk: "Don't call the cops. I'll be over in ten minutes with trash bags and bleach."

 

[KirkusOveractus]

McCoy: "No, no, Jim, I said to put it on before intercourse!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "You know those sickbay spray bottles, the ones that look like they have cleaning stuff in 'em?"
Chapel, filtered: "Yes."
McCoy: "Well, they do. Get to scrubbin'."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Gene offscreen: "De, I know George is off making a John Wayne Movie, but we're not recasting, so cut that out. It's embarrassing."

Spock: "Fascinating, what does it mean, HD ready?"

It was after this incident that the Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up was discretely deleted from the ship's library.

Odo offscreen: "You're safe!"

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy, very high: You were right Carl. This is some good shit.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "I got addicted to quaaludes and strippers, so here I am."

McCoy: "Take two aspirin, how the hell should I know?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Even a half a light year away, Spock's rants never failed to put McCoy to sleep.

Plasus: "Can't I shower in peace?"

The day that William Shatner burst onto the set, Zachary Quinto took a punch meant for Chris Pine.

Though his heart was in the right place, Shatner's moonwalk tribute to the late Michael Jackson backfired miserably.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: No idea man. I passed out last night and woke up here. Looks like a brothal.

SULU: I see you're up.

MCCOY: Crap!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Yes, yes, it was in there. I just got off the crapper. Tell Scotty again how sorry I am for biting off his finger."

 

[Rat Boy]

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Sorry, Jim, looks like I'm plugged up today."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Damn digital TV! The picture quality is great but, you lightly fart near it and the signal goes out.

Spock: indeed.

Kirk: When I said I wanted to see a movie with some talented pussy in it this wasn't what I had in mind.

Kirk ran out of toilet paper so he had to wipe his ass on the carpet.

Play him off, Keyboard Grignak!

 

[Rat Boy]

Keyboard Grignak: "Accident you name, tune I name, otherwise keyboard nooooooooo!

 

[cooleddie74]

DIARRHEA BONES:"Dammit, Spock...I'm outta PAPER! Have someone beam a pack down here before I ruin another pair of boots!"

 

[KirkusOveractus]

McCoy: "Dammit, Scotty, I know engineers love to change things, but did you have to put this wall up behind the toilets? Everyone and their uncles can see what I'm doin' on the john!"

Scotty (filtered): "Doctor, that's the new warp core yer sittin' on, not the crapper!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Good! Cool, guys...this is the scene where he's tied up by Butch and Sundance! Pay attention...this movie's pretty awesome!"

KIRK:"That was my LAST Five-Dollar Footlong, dammit!!!"

STAR TREK: THE HIP DEGENERATION

 

[cooleddie74]

PLASUS:"I'm naked from the waist down, Captain Kirk...challenge me again, and you and your officers will get a buffalo shot you won't soon FORGET!!"