TOS Temporary Caption Contest #5: Love, Hate & The Big River

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Any casualties down there?"

SULU:"Only your silent homoerotic love for me, Doctor."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "You guys donna be done soon? Spock shouts a lot when you're gone."

Sulu: "Cancel Red Alert, sir. False alarm. Chekov spilled his Yoo-Hoo on the console."

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"I sure the hell hope this isn't his snuff video, Jim.

I'm gettin' a bad feelin' about this."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "... and I've been cutting it down the middle at the end, a little at a time, until it looks like this <stands, unzips>"
McCoy: "Sweet. Mother. Of. Shit."

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Might wanna hit 'pause,' Jim.

He takes his shirt off and squeezes his nipples at time index 3:08."

 

[jep]

Koik: "One eight hundred, safe auto, pick up the phone the call is free... "

Spocko: "Is embarrassment an emotion?"

Koik: "Quiet, you."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCKO:"When do we hit Big Harry?"

KOIK:"Tonight after I call Denise and we get NICE and drunk."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: I swear if you guys don't relieve me soon, I'm gonna slit this Davy Joney's wig wearing mother fucker's throat! One more Russian inwention and he gets it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU: I'm Hikaru Sulu and this is the 1701 News.

Our top story: Security office Leslie has died during landing party duty.

MCCOY: That's the third time this month.

 

[SilentP]

SULU: Captain, incoming transmission for you.

McCoy: My God, Jim! What's Sulu doing in that box?!?

Kirk: Bones, I know you're a country doctor, but try to keep up with the times.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "Can I get out from under this table now Captain? I think I just threw my back out."

Kirk: "Stop complaining and continue with the report."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "Uhura and Spock? No. I thought they were with you ..."

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: You feel like eating?
Bones: I could go for a little Japanese.
Kirk: Yes Sulu, what is it?

Kirk: So I asked him: what does Krako need with a Studebaker?
Spock: And?
Kirk: And what?
Spock: And what did he say, Captain?
Kirk: How the hell should I know? I woke up and Rand cooked me eggs.

 

[ria 75]

"You hear that, Man?"
"Hear what?"
"Music. What's that they're playing - 'Low Rider'? I like that."
"Indeed. Le's went, Pedro."

It's in the frakkin' ship!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, snapping fingers, then pointing: "That little shit installed a monitor in my bathroom. Said it was for emergencies."
<Sulu hits switch, fades off.>

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: Um... we're still fighting the Klingons. Do you really think it's a good time to have a meeting?

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: Um... we're still fighting the Klingons. Do you really think it's a good time to have a meeting?

Kirk: "Y'know, instead of making racist comments about Spock, we could turn our eyes to a certain Asian driver ..."
<Sulu sighs, closes connection.>

 

[Mistral]

Sulu: "-and they want our passport and a driver's license or picture ID before we can cross the border."

Kirk: "So why can't you show them yours?"

Sulu: "I left my license in my other pants."

Kirk: "Well, where are your-"

Sulu: "Chekov's quarters."

*sighing* Kirk: "Right, I'll be there in a minute."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "But, sir, the Klingons have broken the trea--"
Kirk: "Put 'Ugly Betty' back on. Now. Ensign."
Sulu, switching off: "Stupid mother-f--"

 

[Alrik]

Sulu: "Incoming message Sir, from a Dr. Carol Marcus."

Kirk: "Oh shit. Go ahead Mr Sulu."

Sulu: "It says to, 'Shove it up your a.."

Kirk: "SULU. I got it loud and clear."

McCoy: "Nice Jim. Where did you learn your relationship skills? Re-runs of Two and a half Men?"