TOS Temporary Caption Contest #4: Happy Assassin

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Nice work last week. We left no fly unzipped.

The shots for this week are a bit odd for us. Not so many obvious testicle jokes.

Have at 'em.

Joe, '

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Look at the size of those testicles."

Spock: "According to Dr. McCoy, these 'snipes' should be along aaaany minute."

 

[Rat Boy]

Mentos: The Freshmaker TM

Nimoy: "Good, he's going for the bicycle. Time to teach that overacting prick a lesson."

 

[Captain Crow]

Everyone had a good laugh at Spock's expense when Kirk showed them his nude beach vacation pictures. He was known from that day forward as Mr. Speck.

The standard reaction while listening to "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".

Let's see whose denture adhesive lasts the longest.

Spock was renowned for his ability to disintegrate female officer's bra clasps from 1000 yards away.

 

[Jptrekker]

Everybody celebrated as the Enterprise brewery produced it's 10,000th barrel of fine microbrew.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Spock suddenly recalled just how harmful UV radiation was.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Greenblooded hobgoblin, eh. Lets see how you look with a phaser beam through your fat mouth.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, offscreen: "And here's some video from the camera I put inside Spock's toilet."

Spock's vegetarianism took a back seat when fresh bacon was possible.

Kirk: "Look, Spock, they've got you fuckin' that black girl from the Bridge."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock waits on the surprisingly-arid Grassy Knoll for the limousine to turn onto Elm.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BUGS: eeeh, whats' up Spock?

SPOCK: I am endevouring to hunt rabbits.

 

[S'kai]

Spock's attempt to duplicate JJ's lens flare was not given the reception he had anticipated.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Spock considered telling them why they shouldn't be lighting their farts in the engine room - but realised it was too late.

Spock: "Eat shit, Shatmandu! I was gonna make a JFK joke!"

 

[Triskelion]

Spock didn't know why they kept replaying his clips at the American Idol audition.

Kirk: Spock, come on down here! It's a landing party, not a house party.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spocks head while everyone else gets the joke: "Which one is good for shepherds again? Red sky at night or in the morning. I can never remember."

Spock: "First shepherd that comes along. Bang!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock's the only one who realizes they did this back in November of 2007, though for some reason this time he wished there was another upskirt shot of Uhura.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Kirk: We just violated canon and I feel fine!
Spock: I think that Klingon woman behind me just violated me
Kor: That's no woman!

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock's life is changed forever as he views 'Two Vulcans, One Cup" for the first time.

From video being shown: "Hello, Mister ... Spock, is it? I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat right over there?"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Nimoy; Gentlemen, this isn't Police Squad. The credits roll, we leave.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I don't mean to sound like an alarmist, but the alien has placed us under heat lamps and has mentioned getting the "Combo".

 

[Triskelion]

Vulcan's entry in the high dive competition was always an "Olympic moment".