TOS Temporary Caption Contest #3: Doctor, Doctor
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Kirk: Are these...?
McCoy: McNuggets. Just a stopgap, Jim.
McCoy: Mr Spock has no idea.
Nancy: How do you like my silky knickers Doctor?
McCoy: "No, the end won't grow back."
Nancy: "Oh, Plum here used to screw me like he was running downhill with a brisk wind at his back. Much better than that weasel-faced needle-dick I married."
Nancy: "'Crater' is a bit of a nickname, really, due to the size of my vagina. My wuss husband took it as his last name, to try to stem the embarassment."
McCoy: "I used to put both feet in there, Jim."
McCoy: "Why do you always look off into the middle distance when I talk to you Jim? It's damned annoying."
McCoy: "... and she just vanished from my life 20 years ago, leaving me with nothing but a boner."
Nancy: "and that's how you got your nickname?"
McCoy: "Who said anything about nicknames?"
Nancy: "So, why did you leave me Plum, you were always my sweet little Nancy-boy."
Kirk sniggering off screen.
McCoy: "Mmm, no particular reason."
McCoy: I wish I had better news, Jim.
Kirk: Incurable...?
McCoy: ...baldness.
Nancy: "Plum". A nickname from when we were very young. For his ample testicles.
McCoy: Yep.
McCoy: "She called me Plum, and I called her Denny's."
Kirk: "Eh?"
Nancy: "Because I was open all night."
<McCoy bucks hips.>
McCoy: "You're dead, Jim."
Kirk: "I don't want to play Battleship with you ever again."
Nancy: "Plum and I used to make plaster casts of all our men-friends' erect penises, didn't we?"
McCoy, pointing at own chest: "Best fluffer in Key West!"
As expected, Kirk found Rand's round of nude jumping jacks quite hypnotic.
Darnell (off camera): "Yep, I took the precaution of wearing a blue shirt today. Nothing going to happen to me on this landing party."
McCoy (muttering): "Yeah right."
Crater/Monster (thinking): He's first.
McCOY:"If we don't get Spock to Vulcan in a few days...a week at the most...he'll be dry humping our legs, Jim.
DRY.
HUMPING."
NANCY:"Leonard and I weren't together for long, but that night in Atlanta? WHEEWWWW.
Best 45 seconds my asshole ever had."
KIRK:"What's the diagnosis, Bones?"
McCOY:"Ham acting...with a tinge of spare tire. In my trained opinion you have thirty years...maybe forty before you start looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy with hair plugs."
McCoy: Why are you walking funny Jim?
Kirk: It's none of your business.
McCoy: You're wearing Rand's underwear aren't you?
Kirk: Maybe.
McCoy: Girdle too tight Jim?
McCoy: When Sulu said you wouldn't walk straight for at least a week after he finished with you he wasn't kidding!
Kirk: "Q...R...E...W...H...F... no, E... no, F... All right, dammit, Bones, I admit it. I do need glasses!"
"The Robbiani Dermal-Optic test results are in, Jim.
You're pregnant."
McCOY:"Yep. 'Plum.'"
NANCY:"A nickname I gave Leonard when we were both very young...and VERY drunk."
McCoy: Tomorrow is the first day of our not jacking off each other with jelly in the car.
