TOS Temporary Caption Contest #2: Boil Order

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Great fun last time. Not going to pick winners, since this is just practice until our boy Outpost4 gets back from his time in Colombia.

(He was just bringing back a package for a friend, you see.)

Here are the next shots:

Have at 'em.

Joe, halved

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "I dun't tink it vas supposed to smell that vay, is all I'm saying."

Scotty: "Got somethin' t'say about me hairstyle, have ye?"
McCoy: "No, no ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekovula: "Bleh!"

McCoy: "Any minute now I'm going to be replaced in Photoshop by Simon Pegg, I just can't shake that feeling."

 

[Trekker4747]

Ahh. So that's what a boner feels like!

McCoy: Don't look at me. He who smelt it, dealt it.

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "Losing an erection due to thinking of your own mother? That was inwented in Russia."

Scotty: "Somebody's been flicking Pall Mall cigarette butts in me Jefferies Tube, and ye'r the only tube I know who smokes that brand, Mister McCoy."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DOOHAN: So in this dream, my character was played by Englishman using
an actual Scots accent and yours was played by a hunky New Zealander.

KELLEY: You gotta cut back on the late night drinking.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Chekov: "The last time I hed a hendjob like thet, my hair turned curly."

Scott: "It were you weren't it. Admit it Doctor, it were ye who stole ma lucky charms, someone's always after ma lucky charms."

McCoy: "You're Scottish, you idiot."

 

[Hambone]

McCOY: I'm serious. Regulation 1-117-1A: Starfleet personnel Haircut, Beard and Sideburn length.

SCOTTY: Aye, yer daft, ya. There's no such regulation!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOENIG: No, this is my real hair, in those early episodes I wore wig.

RAPELYE: Do they still have it?

 

[Triskelion]

Nice hair, but can it protect you in an asteroid impact vhen inertial dampeners are down?

I'm Scottish and I'm goin' commando.
TMI, Mr Scott.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCOY: I'm serious. Regulation 1-117-1A: Starfleet personnel Haircut, Beard and Sideburn length.

SCOTTY: Aye, yer daft, ya. There's no such regulation!

McCoy: "Incidentally, Regulation 1-117-1D clearly states that handstands and cartwheels while wearing kilts are strictly forbidden."

Scott: "Aye, but ye created and made mandatory the mini-kilt for yon jumping jacks, didnae ye?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "Hikaru and I are just friends. I don't know what you think you saw ..."

Scotty: "Sulu was plowin' Chekov's field, is what the skeevy Russian hippy lass told me."
McCoy: "That would explain the fissures."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "I saw a recording of my physical for sale on Craig's List."
McCoy: "Man, I got an ex-wife to feed."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: "McCoy", that wouldn't be a Scottish name, would it?

MCCOY: Ye found me out laddie, but keep it quiet. I get more tail, playing the Southern Gentleman.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "I don't mind you borrowing my medical texts, but I don't want to get them back with the pages sticking together this time."
<Scotty eyes him, shakes head, walks away slowly.>

 

[Triskelion]

Scotty: Wanker.
McCoy: Douchebag.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: Wanker.
McCoy: Douchebag.

Scotty: "Underwear-sniffer."
McCoy: "Underwear-wearer."

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "What's wrong, Doctor?"

McCoy: "I don't know why, but for some reason nude jumping jacks aren't doing it for me anymore."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "What's wrong, Doctor?"
McCoy: "I don't know why, but for some reason nude jumping jacks aren't doing it for me anymore."

Scotty: "Hmmm. How about toe-touches?"
McCoy: "Not enough flapping. The 'flap' is what puts lead in my pencil."
Scotty: "Nude leap-frog?"
McCoy: "Too many witnesses."
Scotty: "Squats?"
McCoy, after contemplating: "Not bad. Throw a thrust or two in there ..."
Scotty: "Yeah."
McCoy: "All right, you're first ..."
Scotty: "Fuck ye ..."
McCoy: "... or I find you unfit for duty and tell everyone about your rash."
Scotty, after a pause: "All right, ye skeevy prick ... <removes shirt, walks toward sickbay>"

 

[cooleddie74]

PAVEL:"You stopped dating me after I changed my hairstyle from curly and dirty blonde...and got the facelift...didn't you?"

SCOTTY:"Did the captain seem a LOT gayer to you today than usual, Doctor?"

McCOY:"Hard to tell sometimes, Scotty. You know Jim during Fleet Week."