TOS Temporary Caption Contest #10: The Big Three

[Isis]

McCoy (looking into the camera): Hic.

Jim, you don’t have to fall apart just because Dr. McCoy got the beer commercial.

Policeman: Sorry, I’m going to have to bring you in. Only 6 items in a fitting room.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Do you have any idea on how hard it is to steal clothes that fit you perfectly?
Spock: Indeed. I calculate the chances at --
Kirk: Please don't.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Figures: his e-mail password is 'fuckiesuckie6969'."

 

[Anticitizen]

Always the prankster, Spock was fond of rubbing his feet on the carpet, sneaking up on crewmen, and delivering a static electricity shock to their earlobes.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: ....me tied up to a bed while he pours lemonade on me... wait a minute, that's not lemonade!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: T'Pring and T'Pau???!!! The man has no limits!!!!!!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

SPOCK: T'Pring and T'Pau???!!! The man has no limits!!!!!!

Spock (cont'd): ...wait, you can't do that with a lirpa!

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Christ, did he have to watch The Bachelorette again?"

 

[Isis]

Spock: A Roomba in "floral." Most illogical on a starship.
Chekhov: Spock, you know the Roomba was a Russian inwention.
Spock: Mr. Chekhov, surely you jest.
Chekhov: Yest. Another Russian inwention.
Spock: Mr. Chekhov, I suggest you avail yourself of yet another Russian "inwention," as you term it, a wadded up handkerchief that will disable your vocal apparatus.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "So, did you enjoy that Hawaiian Hurricane Sulu made for you last night?"

Sandoval: "It sure tasted great, but there was something strange about it."

McCoy: "Oh?'

Sandoval: "Well, I don't remember anything that happened last night and for some reason my asshole hurt when I got up this morning."

 

[Mistral]

Spock: "No, not here. These humans are built so strangely! Nevertheless, I have to find his penis before he wakes up and catches me."

 

[Mistral]

Sandoval: "Judging by that stuff dripping out of your mouth, Sulu has been by here lately."

McCoy: "yeah..."

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Sorry, officer, but can you blame us for stealing these clothes? If anybody saw us in what we're wearing they'd point at us and call us nerds."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Cop: Move along, gents. This ain't one of them Star Tr-ACK conventions you folks are fond of.

 

[Shatmandu]

1930's Cop: "Ah, shit: the only thing worse than a two-peckered Vulcan is an Iowa pigfucker."
Spock: "Dr. McCoy has been busy ..."

 

[Mysterion]

McCoy: I'm on a break, pal. If you've got a problem with that, you'll just have to take it up with the union.

 

[Gertch]

"Did you bring a needle and thread? They keep falling out this hole. Oops, not again."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Trust me, Elias; Southern women will take a lot out of you."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Yep, I farted. I fart a lot. It's a big planet, if you don't like it."




p.s. I'll he changing this bitch out tonight.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I do not understand. We were merely temporarily relocating the women's clothing while they swam in the nude. Why are we being arrested and not them?"

Cop: "Because they're hot, that's why."

Kirk: "What if we got naked?"

Cop: "...go on."