Chekov: First contact procedures, Meester Spock?
Spock: More like docking procedures at Starbase 21, Mister Chekov.
TOS Temporary Caption Contest #10: The Big Three
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Chekov: First contact procedures, Meester Spock?
Spock: More like docking procedures at Starbase 21, Mister Chekov.
Bones: "Gentlemen, a proposal - Project Genesis. It is a process whereby molecular structure is reorganized at the subatomic level into life-generating matter of equal mass. It is our intention to introduce the Genesis Device into a preselected area of an empty container - a drinking glass, or other dead form. The device is delivered, along with mint, bourbon, sugar, and water, instantaneously causing what we call the Genesis effect. Matter is reorganized with life-generating results. Instead of a dead glass, a living, breathing alcoholic beverage capable of sustaining whatever life-forms we see fit to deposit in it, such as the giant bush you see growing out of the glass. Stage One here, code-named Mint Julep, represents the merest fraction of the Genesis potential should the Federation wish to fund these experiments to their logical conclusion."
Spock, under his breath: "Thrusters on full."
Spock learned everything he needed to know about neuropressure massage by watching a softcore pornography series on late-night Cinemax called 'Enterprise', starring Connor Trinneer and Jolene Blalock.
'Our apologies, Officer. As you can see, it's laundry day, which is why we're wearing our pajamas in public...'
Spock:
'I take appreciation of enlarged posteriors, and I cannot equivocate;
you fraternal associates cannot repudiate.
When a female humanoid with a midriff that's thin (quite suitably),
And a spherical object before my physiognomy...'
(For those of you missing the joke, please review the lyrics to Sir Mix-A-Lot's 'Baby Got Back'.)
McCoy: "Yes. I am familiar with the Friday the 13th movies, and no, I'm not impressed."
Chekov: "I vunder eef she vould like fries vith dat shake?"
Spock: "Shocking. I'm getting nothing. Not a single thought. It is as if there is nothing there."
Kirk: "Trick of Treat!"
Officer: "Nice try."
Spock; "He's dead, what was in that glass on the floor?"
McCoy; "Yes I took some of the Captain's Saurian brandy, what of it?"
There aren't any winners of the Temp contest, mainly because we're all still hoping Outpost4 will turn up and continue the main contest.
Chekov: "You dun't have women like that on Wulcan."
Spock: "So, she always been a three-holer, or is that something I taught her?"
Spock's sex life consisted of sneaking into Kirk's cabin at nap time and picking up his dirty memories.
Kirk: "Roosevelt sent me. I'm here rounding up Japanese folks like him."
Spock: "Sargon?"
Chekov: She has a vunderful ass. Vouldn't you say, Meester Spock?
Spock: I'll pass. I like my women like I like my coffee -- hot and black.
Chekov: She has a vunderful ass. Vouldn't you say, Meester Spock?
Spock: I'll pass. I like my women like I like my coffee -- hot and black.
Chekov: I vas tinking cold and bitter..
Chekov: She has a vunderful ass. Vouldn't you say, Meester Spock?
Spock: I'll pass. I like my women like I like my coffee -- hot and black.
Chekov: I vas tinking cold and bitter..
Spock: No, Ensign. You are thinking of how I like my men, except that's lukewarm and bitter, like Dr. McCoy. Sometimes I like them hammy like Captain Kirk.
Chekov: I vish I kept my mouth shut.
Chekov: She has a vunderful ass. Vouldn't you say, Meester Spock?
Spock: I'll pass. I like my women like I like my coffee -- hot and black.
Chekov: I vas tinking cold and bitter..
Spock: No, Ensign. You are thinking of how I like my men, except that's lukewarm and bitter, like Dr. McCoy. Sometimes I like them hammy like Captain Kirk.
Chekov: I vish I kept my mouth shut.
Spock: I like my women like I like my coffee --
Chekov: Murky and overpriced?
Spock: I like my women like I like my coffee --
Chekov: Tepid and weak?
Spock: "Damn, I love Hawaii."
Chekov: "Sarongs? They vere inwented by a little old lady in Leningrad."
Spock helps Kirk forget the naked elderly woman he saw through his binoculars while peering across the hotel courtyard.
Kirk: "Honestly, would you expect any sane man to pay for clothes like this?"
Spock: "Damn, I love Hawaii."
Chekov: "Sarongs? They vere inwented by a little old lady in Leningrad."
Chekov: "If that's sarong, I don't want to be saright."
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