TOS Caption Contest #93 - Up To No Good

[Balthier the Great]

I never wanted to be in Starfleet in the first place. I wanted to be a LUMBERJACK!!!

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
(He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day)

I cut down trees,
I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea
(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)

I cut down trees,
I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow'rs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)

I cut down trees,
I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)

 

[SciFi75]

For the first time ever, Spock went out on a limb.

Did it really take this long for one of us to say that?

I was surprised, too. I guess everyone was too busy thinking about adding flames to Spock's rear end.

 

[Mallory]

Kirk: Well he looks properly trussed to me. You guys get the fire started and I'll start turning the spit.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: Well he looks properly trussed to me. You guys get the fire started and I'll start turning the spit.

Sulu: In Spock we trussed?

 

[Rat Boy]

Rat Boy: "Uh oh, cooleddie just saw the summer finale of Battlestar Galactica."

 

[Shatmandu]

cooleddie: "I hope this contest ends soon. My hands are getting chafed."

Shatmandu: "How's that different from any other contest, pervert?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock, dropping down: "Captain, I have ascertained Outpost4's 'camping trip' is a ruse. He is currently in the underbrush cooking large vats of something my tricorder reveals to be crystal meth."

-or-

Spock: "Outpost4's 'camping trip' seems to consist of a Boy Scout troop, a bag of lollypops, and a video camera."

 

[Triskelion]

The other nurses and I have compiled a sexual harassment diary on you.
And before you ask, I've included the pap smear incident.

 

[Kryton]

He's a doctor, not a brick layer.

 

[cooleddie74]

"The test results you asked for, Leonard.

You were right...and I'm sorry. You DO have bad allergic reactions to bean burritos. And there's a holophoto inside on Tape 1 confirming it."

 

[cooleddie74]

cooleddie: "I hope this contest ends soon. My hands are getting chafed."

Shatmandu: "How's that different from any other contest, pervert?"

cooleddie: "Squiggy's not here asking for sloppy seconds."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Here, Doctor - you'd better take this before Mr. Spock gets his hands on it."

"What can I say about this elixir?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Here.

It's my diary from when I was twelve.

Turn to page 59. The entry for May the Fifteenth. It's hot."

SPOCK:"I'm starting to feel the burn...

Yes.

Affirmative!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatmandu: "I guess cooleddie's a Lakers fan."

Rat Boy: "Or he's a Tiger Woods fan."

T'Bonz: "Or maybe he knows when this caption contest's ending."

 

[The Castellan]

Chapen: I got you a wallet for your birthday, that handbag you got looks so 22nd century.

Kirk: Ok, get me a blindfold and a stick.

 

[Outpost4]

Chapel: Here's my report on the medical outcome of Outpost4's camping trip.
McCoy: Don't tell me - he rubbed two Boy Scouts together to create fire.
Chapel: Talk about chafed hands!

 

[Defcon]

Chapel had heard of the promotion tactics from the Mirror Universe, and thought it was worth a try.

Chapel: Sorry, Len, but I want your job.

 

[The Castellan]

Chapel had heard of the promotion tactics from the Mirror Universe, and thought it was worth a try.

Chapel: Sorry, Len, but I want your job.

Pretty calm for a fellow who's just been stabbed.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Can you sign my autograph book?

So far I have the Captain, Mister Spock and most of the senior bridge officers."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock; Its a warm day Captain, very... warm...
[Que Benny Hill Music]
[Spock starts dry humping the tree]