TOS Caption Contest #78 - Spock Picks Pic

[SciFi75]

Kirk: So this is the inverted phase modulator. Why does it look like an old movie projector?

Sulu: Once the techs add some blinking lights and a really awesome "Wee wee" sound effect, it will become the inverted phase modulator.

Kirk: Damn studio budget.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, offscreen: "She'll tickle your balls with that feather, Spock. Feels great!"

Spock: "Either this one or I'd be glad to tag-team that 'Ruth' you dredged up, Captain."

 

[SciFi75]

Kirk: Debbie Does Deneb IV, Green Girls Do It Easy, Andorian MILF's, Vulcan Love Heat Part II....which one of my porn films do you want to borrow Mister Sulu?

Sulu: You wouldn't have a copy of Romulan Rock Hard?

Kirk: You may leave Mister Sulu.

 

[CaptainJon]

It was at this moment that Nimoy had the brilliant idea for a song about a Hobbit.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Captain, with your permission, I'd like to go teach this young lady how to start a fire without matches."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Show me 'sehlat!'"

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Doctor, the procedure was a success. Chekov is now the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Kirk (with head down): "That's what you said earlier about me."

 

[Shatmandu]

Shatner: "This is where they cut out your dialogue."

Spock: "The pond behind us was crystal-clear until this one waded in up to her waist."

 

[Bad Atom]

Finally, a machine that Kirk couldn't talk to death.

"I'm checking for swollen lymph nodes."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Alas, poor Dr. McCoy! I knew him, Captain."

"I saw something like this once, Sir... "
"Oh? Where were you?"
"At the... dentist's office."
"I... never mind. Forget it, Mr. Sulu."

Now... off the antenna, past the samurai swordsman,
behind the tiger, roll down the knight's lance, off of
Ruth's head, between Finnegan's legs and off of the
rock where Sulu found the revolver... nothing but net!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: The annoyingly grating sounds seems to be emanating from this creature. Captain.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU: Now what?

KIRK: Dont look at me. I was on the Football team at the Academy,
you were the guy in the AV club.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Spock: "And this is me right after I assassinated President Kennedy. Next slide please."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk: Strange, there appears to be a looped footage of you looking over your shoulder at me.

 

[Michael]

Breast implants ... of the future!

 

[Outpost4]

Tonight, on Star Trek: Extreme Makeover, Kevin Riley gets a sex change.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Lock the door, Mr. Sulu. I have a director's cut of STV to make.

 

[Michael]

Spock: That's what I call firm.

Spock: My mind to your boobs, your boobs to my mind.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Sulu! Straight! Any straight man would be coughing up furballs by now."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "It is not logical. I have the pointy eyebrows and ears while she has the pointy nipples."