TOS Caption Contest #60 - He's Got Legs

[Outpost4]

I'm changing out the caption contest a day early because I will be travelling this weekend.

Excellent entries this time. It was hard to pick a winner. Actually, I let a very funny friend of mine who is also a Trekkie do it. A musician, he's staying with me as he passes through town playing gigs. After I made a rough cut, he picked out the final winners. So if you didn't win, blame my friend Hans, not me.

We have two more brand new winners this week. Congratualtions go to J. Allen and CaptainJon. You guys are quite funny.

CaptainJon said:

"Yes, it is true...we Klingons like to pet our hairy balls."

J. Allen said:

I can just hear Spock saying, "They've hit Buddy!", to which Kirk replies, "Come on, girls!"


We're going to have three pictures this next time as the Great Bird Of the Galaxy is crashing the party.

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

A Beaker Full Of Death (2x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
ancient
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon

First Time Winner!
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (7x)
cultcross
DeafPoet
DrBob (5x)
DS9Sega
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (8x)
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone
J. Allen

First Time Winner!
jayrath
Kahloke
KJM
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (3x)
NathanielM
Nerys Myk (9x)
Noname Given
Outpost4 (12x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (11x)
Redfern
scottydog (8x)
Shatmandu (4x)
Sir Rhosis
T'Bonz (5x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Laughing Vulcan (5x)
The Squire of Gothos (4x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness
Tim M (2x)
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (2x)

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: C-A-N-C-E-L-L-A-T-I-O-N
Scotty: Stupid weegie board.

Give him a swirly!

GR's last project was Star Trek: Extreme Makeover

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: You're right. Your nail polish is shinier than mine.

To combat high air fares, some passengers are stowed in the overhead compartments.

The Great Belly of the Galaxy.

 

[Gertch]

Sulu (thinking): "Get your hand off mine bitch."

Soylent Green is Red Shirts!

"Ladies! Welcome to my Tholian Web. Come on in."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Sir, we're out of photon torpedoes."

Scotty: "Aye, and phaser power is down to twenty percent."

Kirk: "Damn, I guess that leaves us only one weapon left. Prepare to launch red shirts!"

Loader #1: "Launch red shirts; aye, aye sir!"

Red Shirt: "Wait! Wait! I'm too young to die!"

Loader #2: "Oh, you would have soon."

Loader #1: "Just remember to tuck just before you hit the Klingon ship. It'll probably hurt less."

Red Shirt: "Less?"

Loader #2: "You ever slam into a deflector shield at warp speeds?"

Roddenberry: "Hi, I'm Gene Roddenberry. You may remember me from such TV shows as The Lieutenant, Have Gun, Will Travel, Star Trek, and some crap playing in syndication."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock; Gentlemen, I believe Lt Sulu buzzed in first, so I will take his answer.

(Quiz night on the bridge)

 

[SPOCKED]

Roddenberry: Hi Marina, my name is Gene. I'll be interviewing you today. Just hop on the couch...

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Kirk" For crying out loud sulu, how many times have i said use a Tea cup coaster"

The increasing problem of dead red shirt bodies on the Enterprise disappeared overnight once the new red shirt disposal was fitted.

I rare picture of Roddenberry earning some extra cash as a bouncer at Trek conventions.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Left foot blue? Oh no."

Sulu: "Oh yes!"

Ensign Mallory: "I'm not dead!"

Guy on left: "'Ere, he says he's not dead."

Guy on right: "Yes he is."

Ensign Mallory: "I think I'll make a full recovery."

Guy on left: "Shut up! You'll be stone dead in a moment. Can we dump him out the airlock if he's still alive?"

Guy on right: "It's against regulation."

Guy on left: "Isn't there something we can do?"

Ensign Mallory: "I feel happy, oh so happy...!"

*thud*

Roddenberry: "Okay, we're now taking auditions for the role of Tasha Yar. I love this job."

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk: What? That can't be right!
Scotty: Laddie, you'd better let me have a look a' that.
Sulu: (thinking) I hate this shit. I told 'em what the meter read,
but NOOOOOOOOOOOO, do they believe me? God, I hate this shit...
Spock: (thinking, with heavy sarcasm) Fascinating...

 

[Rat Boy]

Majel (thinking): Uh oh, looks like he got into Carl Spock's stash of Viagra again.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Warp...impulse...forward...reverse...port...starboard...tactical...scan...hot...permapress...rinse...spin...wash..."

"This is NOT what I bloody meant by 'giving me some head in a tunnel!' "

"Hi. I'm television producer and legend and STAR TREK creator Gene Roddenberry.


I've fucked both Majel Barrett and Nichelle Nichols. Want to know more? Go to www.gene_spreads_his_genes.com and check out the hot photos and blogs!"

 

[Gertch]

Spock (thinking): "Mr Scott never holds my hand at home."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Pretty sure its the green button.

SCOTT: Blue. Its gotta be blue.

SPOCK: Logic dictates yellow.

SULU (Thinking): They could ask me, but what would a helmsman know about piloting the ship!

Redshirt: This ones full. Tell Kirk we need more storage space or he needs to cutdown on the number of landing parties.

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"Not that button, sir. That one activates my same-sex pleasure zone."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

KIRK: What were you watching LT., I'm retty sure its the Yellow button.

SCOTT: Red. Its gotta be Red.

SPOCK: Logic dictates Pink.

SULU (Thinking): God I hope they don't push Red, Red, Red, White , White, & Blue , Blue , Blue in sequence.
thats brings up my MJ teen age boys collection.

Redshirt 1: "If we shove him a little harder, maybe it'll push the others free?"

Redshirt 2 " Ok maybe water slides in the Jeffries Tubes was a bad Idea!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Sulu: (to himself) Watch it, Monty. Touch anything -- touch one goddamn
button -- and I'm going D'Artagnan on your Canuck redshirt ass.

Redshirt #1: It’s not a truck.
Redshirt #2: It’s a series of tubes.
Scotty: Borgus Frat!

 

[Nerys Myk]

REDSHIRT #1: Third one today. Just how big a dinner party is Kirk throwing?

REDSHIRT #2: Diplomats love that Soylent Green.

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: Idiots. It's "Ouija". Not "weegie".

RED SHIRTS: (singing) He's got legs! He knows how to use 'em!

SCOTTY: It's security detail for the both of you borgas frat smart arses!

FANS (O.C.) Hail the Führer! Hail the Führer.*

* see original series bloopers.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Any Idea what this button does?

SCOTTY: Not a clue, but I like pushing it.

REDSHIRT: This would be a lot easier if those idiots on the bridge would stop opening and closing the hatch.