TOS Caption Contest #52: Jealousy Reared

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "These the files from the future that we intercepted?"
Kirk: "Yes."
McCoy: "How'd your hair get so dark and curly? You're allergic to Scalpinax."

Janos Prohaska, muffled: "You spend a day underneath a hundred pounds of plastic and see how you smell, asswipe."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Ryker said:

"Beer sprayed over monitor" moment. Cheers! :thumbsup:

Closely followed by another one

Shatmandu said:

Kirk, on Spock's dropped Communicator: "Spock, any trace of the giant cat that was chasing us?"

Joe, you said you were in the USAF didn't you? I'd love to know if you were in reconnaissance, can't imagine the captions beside the rows of Russian silos and submarine bases

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I believe I found the Rigellian skunk."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: I don't understand. Why doesn't Lucy just ask them to slow down the conveyor belt?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: " Arrgg!! It burns, it burns!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Pike doing anything?"
Kirk: "In code, he just beeped out, 'My nuts itch.'"
McCoy: "Uh, his testicles were burned away."
Kirk: "Oh. Damn, that sucks. You up for tacos?"

Spock: "Captain, you just accepted an offer of marriage from this individual."
Kirk: "I can live with that."
Spock: "This is a male of the species."
Kirk: "The bra ..."
Spock: "His 'bra' covers his testicles."
Kirk: "Kirk to Enterprise: emergency beam-out ..."

Spock: "PAIN! I! LIKE! TO! BE! SPANKED!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Look, I know Edith meant a lot to you, but you can't just sit here and look at upskirts all day."

Ugmuk: "We have had visitors from among the stars before."
Spock: "Indeed?"
Ugmuk: "One named 'Scotty' taught us that birth control via buggering was the wish of Val."
Kirk, into Communicator: "Kirk to Enterprise ..."

Chapel: "I told you I wasn't feeling very fresh ..."

 

[galleywest]

Woman: Mr. Wonka will see you now.

Kirk: Oompah-loompah diggity dang!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock finds unexpected release on an away mission when he discovers that the Horta has a bi-furicated entry.

 

[Alyssa]

The Laughing Vulcan said:
You need to get promoted a bit, aka more posts (without spamming).

Here, I've quoted your post.

Alyssa said:
[image]http://img105.mytextgraphics.com/photolava/2007/08/18/peepers-47j23yl6z.jpg[/image]

Kirk and Mcoy couldn't bring themselves to stop reading scotty's letters to penthouse

Kirk: so these things really happened?
Bones: Yeah i think thats the whole point of these letters.
Kirk: Wow who would have thought that Yoeman Brand was that flexible?!?

Thanks!!!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Native bimbo; And Captain, if all men in your Starfleet are bifuricated, they are all welcome.

Kirk; Bifuricated? Spock?...

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Something wrong, Spock?"

Spock: "Did you not notice her tentacles, Captain?"

Kirk: "Sorry, I haven't looked that far down yet."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock after girl slaps Kirk in the face : "You know when you've been Tangoed!"

 

[Alyssa]

The Laughing Vulcan said:
[image]http://img108.mytextgraphics.com/photolava/2007/08/18/sexeducationfromkirk-47j4w3gbv.jpg[/image]

Spock after girl slaps Kirk in the face : "You know when you've been Tangoed!"

 

[Woulfe]

Photos from the sets of the new Star Trek movie leaked to the internet....

Fan 1 : The colors are way off, TOS never looked like that.

Fan 2 : The lighting is overkill, TOS was never lit like that.

Fan 3 : These actors playing Kirk and McCoy look nothing like Shatner and Kelly back in the day, this movie will fail big time.

Fan 4 : I think it looks great.

Fan 1 : This SOUNDSTAGE planet looks too fake, nothing like the planets on TOS, they screwed it up big time.

Fan 2 : Needs more clouds in the sky, like TOS had.

Fan 3 : The actor playing Spock looks nothing like Nimoy, this film has FAIL written all over it allready.

Fan 4 : I think it looks great.

Fan 1 : Please, this cave looks so FAKE, I won't even say how fake it looks, rubber walls, ugh.

Fan 2 : Another SOUNDSTAGE planet, i'm going to avoid this film if this is any hint at what we're going to have.

Fan 3 : Again, this new guy looks nothing like Nimoy, i'll pass.

Fan 4 : I can't wait 'till 2008 to see this !

 

[M'Sharak]

galleywest said:

Kirk: Oompah-loompah diggity dang!

 

[Rat Boy]

Might as well get these out of the way...

Carl Spock: "Call an ambulance! I think I burned my dick in this thing!"

Diamond Jim: "Your cut's kind of low this week. Is Carl Spock going to have to choke a bitch?"

The Reverend Doctor McCoy: "She's faking it."

Diamond Jim: "Don't care."

 

[Shatmandu]

Carl: "Gimme my shades, beeyatch! DON'T TOUCH THE FACE!"

Diamond Jim: "Great planet. We should be able to retire."
Carl: "From Whiskey Lips Sulu alone."

Diamond Jim: "Man, fuck this."
Rev'rend Doctor Lenny: "Told you ordering platform shoes off the internet was hard, mutha-fucka. The sizes ain't standard fo' shit!"

 

[Rat Boy]

The cameos in J.J. Abrams' Trek film quickly started to get out of hand.

 

[The Castellan]

Jim: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, and Start.

Bones: Well, I'll be damned....

*Spock looks downwards at the girl before him*
Spock: ~thinking to himself~ Should I inform the captain this girl 'tucks'?

Spock just realized he was not very good at playing 'Roshambo'.