TOS Caption Contest #52: Jealousy Reared

[Shatmandu]

Cut Coda from "Space Seed."

Kirk: "Captain's Log: Supplemental. My decision to humiliate Khan as we dropped him off on Ceti Alpha V by mocking his manhood in front of his followers will not come back to haunt us, I assure you ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Ryker said:

Shatmandu said:

Horta: "No. Come. In. I."

"Beer sprayed over monitor" moment. Cheers! :thumbsup:

That one snuck up on me, too. The best kind to me are the ones I don't even see coming.

And the best thing about the internet is that I can come up with a joke in Asstick, Indiana, post it, and you can spritz beer on your monitor in Wirral, UK pretty much right away.

God bless Al Gore.

Joe, Cree-a-tore

 

[Ihlecreations]

Ship's Medical Log, Dr.Leonard McCoy recording. Today the captain was fitted with a prosthetic left hand to replace his real one lost in what he called an "unfortunate mastubatory incident". He is reponding well to therapy consisting of hours of internet adult entertainment.

 

[Ihlecreations]

Ladie and Gentlemen...Joe Spocker!

Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong
Where The Eagles Fly On A Mountain High
Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong
Far From The World Below
Where The Clear Wind Blow

 

[Ihlecreations]

Now it was obvious the poor girl been out in the sun to long, and it was evident from her cheeks someone had gotten creative with the sunscreen. Still Spock was troubled should he or should he not tell her what was written on her back?

 

[Shatmandu]

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "My God...what depraved people are posting captions on this TrekBBS."

McCoy: "You have to admit, Jim, we did give them a lot of fodder."

Kirk: "We? I don't see them talking about your cock, Doc."

 

[Ziz]

Shatmandu said:

Ryker said:

Shatmandu said:

Horta: "No. Come. In. I."

"Beer sprayed over monitor" moment. Cheers! :thumbsup:

That one snuck up on me, too. The best kind to me are the ones I don't even see coming.

...so to speak.

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCoy: When do the keyboards arrive?

Kirk: Tuesday

While Kirk chatted up the natives, Spock wondered why they all looked like the inbred decendents of Peter Graves.

In spite of the other cadets' insistance, Spock was sure the Kobayashi Maru test did not involve retrieving a communicator from a pile of Mugatoo poo.

 

[Gertch]

Mallory said:
Congrats Gertch, I'm glad you made it a reference to The Apple.

Thank you.

A little happier ending for our favorite red shirt. :thumbsup:

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk and McCoy shouldn't have been surprised at what Sulu had bookmarked in Mozilla.

Spock reflected sadly on his inability to attract women who weren't heavily spored.

Stopping Nimoy at the first line, the Horta had clearly heard about that damned Hobbit before.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "When was your decorator born Jim, the 1980s?"

Kirk: "What are you on about Bones?"

McCoy: "Tequila Sunrise on the door, have you no shame, what next, a black light?"

Spock: "Her anus winked at me Captain!"
Kirk: "Just go with the flow, Spock, go with the flow."
Girl: "You like snu snu?"

Bribing one's way into the Officer's Halloween Party - 300 credits.
Renting a Mother Horta Costume - 110 credits.
Making 'First contact' with Spock - Priceless.

Christine Chapel endorses Mastercard.

 

[Woulfe]

Next Time On Star Trek....

McCoy : My god Jim, the captioneers get a lot of mileage out of sexual innuendo jokes, poop jokes and toupee jokes.

Kirk : I knows Bones, I know.

Spock [reading the girl's back] : For a good time call 867-5309

Kirk : I'll have to remember that, has anyone seen Mallory around ?

Spock : Last I saw he was running around naked, smileing a lot and waveing.

Spock : Pain !

Kirk : What is it Spock ?

Spock : I ordered no anchovies, no anchovies !

 

[M'Sharak]

Yes, Captain, he looks sad now, but if he has a little of what I've got, he,
too, will have a smile you couldn't pry off with one of our forked sticks.

 

[Alyssa]

[image]http://img105.mytextgraphics.com/photolava/2007/08/18/peepers-47j23yl6z.jpg[/image]

Kirk and Mcoy couldn't bring themselves to stop reading scotty's letters to penthouse

Kirk: so these things really happened?
Bones: Yeah i think thats the whole point of these letters.
Kirk: Wow who would have thought that Yoeman Brand was that flexible?!?

 

[Alyssa]

Why won't it show images when i try!?!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

You need to get promoted a bit, aka more posts (without spamming).

Here, I've quoted your post.

Alyssa said:

Kirk and Mcoy couldn't bring themselves to stop reading scotty's letters to penthouse

Kirk: so these things really happened?
Bones: Yeah i think thats the whole point of these letters.
Kirk: Wow who would have thought that Yoeman Brand was that flexible?!?

 

[M'Sharak]

The Horta's somewhat underhanded response told Spock he'd gone too far.

Or:

Janos had had about enough of Nimoy's practical jokes. Payback's a motherfucker, sometimes.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Eighty-seven credits to ship a comic book? Fuckin' eBay!"

Kirk: "Spock, please tell Dr. McCoy to return to the ship."
Spock: "Sir, the Doctor is scheduled to deliver a sex education class ot the native women in point-one-nine hours."
Kirk: "Spock, please tell Dr. McCoy to return to the ship."

Silicon-based farts are the worst.

 

[Maurice]

McCoy: You'll never need more than 640K of RAM, Jim.

Nimoy gets his first glimpse of the 3rd season scripts...