TOS Caption Contest #51: Briefing Coda

[NathanielM]

Kirk; He looks like one of the Monkees...


Bones; Nah it couldn't be Jim...Is that Peter Tork...No wait Davy Jones...

Scotty: I migh't be Michael Nesmeth...

Kirk: No I know ... Micky Dolenz... You know that guy ont he drums...

Spock: I don't believe so Captain.

 

[NathanielM]

The reason the bridgecrew was laughing because Spock was making faces at the Klingons over the commuications channel from his console after beaming over the tribbles into their engine room...

 

[NathanielM]

Khan: Where the hell is my weed you were supposed to beam down with us on Ceti Alpha 5...

Kirk: What? Bullshit... we don't have it right Carl...

Carl Spock: No Baby, we are smoooking it!

Scotty: Weeed.. Beautttiful WEEED Laddy, you are a saint.

McCoy: Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a stoner!

Kirk: We got it, you can kiss off Khan...

Khan: I will get you for this Kirk!

Kirk: Blow me... *makes throat cutting gesture*

All laugh and light up with sound muted as Khan curses them and watches them smoke his weed...

Carl Spock: Nothing but a good Doobie baby... AHHH...

Kirk: No Spock... Goddamn it. I was not a Hooker in the Police Force... I was named TJ Hooker in the Los Angeles Police Force.

Scotty: Man look at dat bad rug...

Mccoy: A rat on his head...

Kirk: @!@^&* all of you... You bastards... Damn you Spock See what you started.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Oh, hey, there's Khan. Should we swing by Ceti Alpha Whatever and check on them?"
Spock: "No."
McCoy: "Why bother?"
Scotty: "Fuck that asshole."
Kirk: "That's what I thought. Meeting adjourned. Who's up for tacos?"

Scotty: "I did save one Tribble, right here."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "More like a 'Genetic Thuperman.'"

 

[tharpdevenport]

What happenes when Chekov isn't there.

 

[NathanielM]

Khan:<shaking his hair and imitating a strumming air guitar> I love him Yea YEA YEA, I LOVE HIM YEA YEA YEA!

Kirk: Oh man he's trying to imitate Paul Mcartney of the Beatles!

Spock: Fascinating.

Scotty: i have seen alot but laddie that is SCAREY!

McCoy: That is for sure Mr. Scott.

 

[NathanielM]

What we all can't see it Mr. Spock dancing around in a Yeoman's uniform with a blond wig on and carrying a signature board. He has two tribbles in the bodice imitating bouncing boobs and they are purring.

 

[scottydog]

Shatner: ...and then I shouted, "Get a life!"

Takei: What's wrong with Jon Lovits never having kissed a girl?

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: And the two vulcan priestesses walked into the bar and...

McCoy... That's funny Jim, but you forgot say that they were really men...

Sulu: <laughing> And I kissed them!

 

[scottydog]

Spock: That is not a shot of a mug. That is Khan.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "'Khan?' More like 'Kha-nie.'"

 

[Noname Given]

Mr. Spock: "As I said Captain, recrds of this era are sketchy. That either a picture of Khan-Noonian-Singh; or it's a picture of an island resort owner name Mr. Rourke. Interestingly enough, there's a companion photo of a small midget running down off a tower..."

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Captain Kirk: "I'm soooo stoned!"

Bridge Crew : "Duh!"

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Spock: "Captain, why are there no gay characters on Star Trek?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Scott: "... and I said, 'I got yer too-bright nacelle caps right here, ye bleedin' tube!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Rumor has it he was once married to the late 20th century screen actress Melanie Griffith. And did the voice of an animated bee in a pharmaceutical commercial."

Getting the shooting script for "Spock's Brain" proved to be the funniest moment in the entire history of the old TOS set.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I'll let him read over our schematics and learn everything about us and our machinery. Shouldn't be a problem."

Sulu: "... and that's why I've not had a solid shit since I was seventeen."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: "What I'm about to say, gentlemen, is off the record and doesn't leave this room...but I'm sexually attracted to this man and want to lick whipped cream off his pecs."

The crew had a good laugh at the expense of Mister Spock's chronic and explosive attacks of vegetarian diarrhea.

 

[SciFi75]

Kirk: ...and then we found out that Ceti Alpha VI was going to blow up after we left the solar system.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty, thinking: "Forgot to zip my shit."

Captain: "Ha-ha! Fuckin' SPOCK! Whew! Take us out of orbit, Helmsman."

Scotty: "Worst. Peepshow. EVER."

As his pent-up humiliation boiled over, Spock remembered phasers can also be set to 'Cut.'

An HBO Original Series: Star Trek

Kirk: "Scotty, my informant here says you've been dealing drugs on the Enterprise."
Scotty: "Fuckin' Harlan!"