TOS Caption Contest #51: Briefing Coda
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Kirk: Don't worry, gentleman. I've dealt with him before. He's as ugly as he is stupid.
McCoy: Uh...Jim...
Kirk: Not now, Bones. Now Scotty, when I give you the signal, I want you to throw everything we've got at him.
McCoy: Uh...Jim...
Kirk: Not now, Bones! Spock, you got those command codes ready so we can lower their shields?
Spock: Yes, Captain.
Kirk: Good. Okay. Go ahead. Put me back on.
McCoy: Jim, that's what I've been trying to tell you. You are on.
Khan: Perhaps I'm not as ugly as I am stupid?
Kirk: This can't be good.
Spock when i said monitor him, i didn't expect that to include while he's on the toilet.....oh well seeing as were here, switch us to the inside bowl camera, and lets see how Superior those bowels are.
Scotty's performance of "I'm a little vulcan teapot" always left the crew laughing.
Spock: Ricardo Montalban, old school actor, mainly evil characters. Age: unknown, twentieth century actor.
Aliases and roles that he is known as on record:
Head of Council, a Grandfather, Interviewee, another Grandfather, Senior Senior Senior, Vaclav Maryska, Vincent Ludwig, Mr. Rourke, Khan Noonien Sing, Manuel, Turtle George, Won Ton Ton, Capt. Esteban, Pinkerton Man, Armando, Jean Duval, Natchai,Armando, Dr. Luis Delgado, Alejandro Zayas, Vittorio, Ortega, Jalisco, Sgt. Al Cervantes, Gerard Sefra, Phil Benton, The White King, Pete Delanos, Little Wolf, Gaspard, Major Padula, Don Raspi, Ramon Castillo, Gordon the Black Buccaneer, Lorca, Matsou, Louie Ramponi, Nakamuran, Prince Said, Amak, Tom, Antonio Gomez, Pietro, Roberto Santos, Pepe Gonzales, Chu Chu Ramirez, Ironshirt, Marcos, Johnny Monterez, Lt. Peter Morales, Demi Armendez, Jose O'Rourke, Roderigues, Pablo Rodriguez, Ricardo Montez, a Specialty dancer, Mario Morales, and Jarameno, Captain... His career spans from the early twentieth century, well into the twenty first century. (1943- 2003AD)
Kirk: Jesus Spock, did he have stone tablets and a beard too?
Spock: I don't believe so.
Kirk: Couldn't you give me the compact analysis Spock...
Spock: It is my tendecy to be accurate...
Kirk: <muttering> Damn vulcans!
Kirk: "They will be no tribble at all?"
McCoy: "Wait till spock takes off his trousers and sees his new scrotum implants..."
Spock: <muttered curse> Damn you Sulu, I told you not to take a picture of me at the Gay Pride Parade!
Kirk: That musta been some Blizard there Spock on that ice planet where you met Zarabeth!
Kirk: "As we are facing a situation beyond all imagining, and the repercussions of our actions will resonate throughout the Federation, I'm opening this briefing to all crewmembers. This is our ultimate foe, Khan Noonien Singh, brilliant, ambitious, deadly. So are we agreed? Girly hair?"
Spock: "Indeed, girly hair."
Scott: "Girly hair, aye."
Sulu: on intercom "I'd hit it."
McCoy: "Girly hair."
On viewscreen "Coming this fall from UPN, meet Kirk's childhood hero, Captain Archer, in the newest addition to the Star Trek family, Enterprise"
Kirk: I liked the mermaid we had in there before better.
It's all fun and games until someone gets photoshopped.
okay, let's see the "before" picture again.
oh, like you didn't do a few "Vulcan Love Slave" spreads when you needed cash.
Kirk: "Get that Ichy and Scratchy show back"
*blushes* Why, thank you!Gertch said:
galleywest said:
Kirk: I liked the mermaid we had in there before better.
While they were both good this one made me lol.
Khan: You still remember, Admiral!
Kirk: Sorry you have the wrong number... *makes throat cut gesture to Scotty*
Kirk: Oh jesus Spock, You had to bring up my secondary job while I was at the Academy....
Kirk: Damn it Bones, You did not have to pipe that marijuana smoke in here.
Mccoy: Yea good shit maaan. Puts hair on your chest and just about everywhere else Jim...
Kirk; Yeah, refill the coffee.
Bones; And another plate of doughnuts, Spock, anything for you?
Spock; Coffee will be sufficient Doctor.
Before dumping Khan and his crew on Ceti Alpha, Kirk makes them work off the damage done to the ship.