TOS Caption Contest #45: After the Lovin' . . .

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Today, I have to go to a three year-old's birthday party. Should be awkward.

At his parents' wedding (ahem, three and a half years ago, ahem), I was mistaken by the groom's snooty sister for a banquet worker, since I had been shooting the shit with the staff at the hall.

She dressed me down quite loudly for not emptying the trash in a timely manner. I let her finish. And I said, "Actually, ma'am, I'm in charge of the larger pieces of trash here tonight. I'm here to take you to the dumpster."

Hope she's there today.

Anyhoot, this was a fun week. Two newcomers to the Pantheon nail spots on the list.

Haggis and Tatties got the right vibe with:

Haggis and Tatties said:

Uhura lost interest in what the captain was saying, as she quietly reached over and flicked her Chairs massage switch to full.

. . . and A Beaker Full of Death had an inside track with:

A beaker full of death said:

FUCK!! It really was a beaker full of death!!

Very cool, both of you. Welcome to the list!

This week's bits are:

Joe, spocky

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Laughing Vulcan (2x), jayrath, scottydog (2x), Gertch (2x), Guartho, Tristan, TBonz (2x), Woulfe, terranova, Rat Boy, Battrekker, AlphaTrionTJW, M'Sharak, Galleywest, Outpost4, Quo Vadimus, all y'all, cooleddie74, FishDS9, Nerys Myk and TigerOfDarkness, scottydog (3x) and Rat Boy (2x), Outpost4 (2x) and TBonz (3x), Rat Boy (3x) and commodore64, Rat Boy (4x!) and Noname Given, DeafPoet and The Tone, scottydog (4x!) and Nerys Myk (2x) & Redfern, The Tone (2x) and DrBob and cooleddie74 (2x) and Gertch (3x) and Shatmandu and Outpost4 (3x) and The Laughing Vulcan (3x) and Tharpdevenport and ancient and Woulfe (2x), cakes516 and Adam Ihle, Nerys Myk (3x) and cooleddie74 (3x), Tharpdavenport and Outpost4 (4x), Rat Boy (5x!) and Nerys Myk (4x), The Squire of Gothos and Nerys Myk (5x!), Gertch (4x) and Turbo, scottydog (5x!) and Rat Boy (6!!)and cooleddie74 (4x), Tharpdavenport (2x) and goldbug, The Laughing Vulcan (4x) and The Squire of Gothos (2x), The Squire of Gothos (3x), and galleywest (2x), Adam Ihle (2x) and DrBob(2x), DrBob (3x!) and Classic Fan, Outpost4 (5x!) and Tim M and Gertch (5x!) and DrBob (4x!!), Haggis and Tatties and A Beaker Full Of Death!

 

[Shatmandu]

Rand: "No, I said, 'I love you fucking me,' not 'I love you.'"

Spock: "Does that smell like poop to you? It smells like poop to me, is all I'm sayin'."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Alas poor Janice, I knew her intimately Bones. A Yeoman of infinite flexibility. Did I tell you she memorised the Kama Sutra just for me? How often have I felt these lips wrapped around my..."

McCoy: "That isn't Janice, Jim"

Kirk: "What?"

McCoy: "You're hugging her wig!"

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your breasts... I mean thoughts. My thoughts to your thoughts"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, thinking: "Pregnant? What'll I tell Spock?"

McCoy, off-screen: "That's Nurse Chapel you're smellin', there honey. S'like rubbin' alcohol on a cat's ass, isn't it?"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk had trained his tribble to coo sweetly in his ear at stressful times.

...

Half (ok, maybe a quater) of the fun in these theads is seeing what the images are called on Shatmandu's photobucket account. "Sniffy" :thumbsup:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk, thinking: Oh, great. Just to get her to stop crying I had to agree to three more dates. Guess Saturday with the Orion twins is off.

Spock: "So you're saying that Jim suddenly canceled on you? What a shame, baby."

 

[T'Bonz]

It's called a roofie. It takes away all anxiety.

 

[NAHTMMM]

Aw man . . . I left the oven on, didn't I?

"They make the print on these warning labels so illogically small nowadays. . . . Can you make out what that says?"

 

[cooleddie74]

The reviews for MANNEQUIN 5: DEEP SPACE TANGO were predictably horrible.

SPOCK:"Your skin is radiant. More lovely than anyone's who's spent months or years in a hostile arctic wasteland SHOULD logically ever be...but...I digress."

 

[MANT!]

Spock thinking.."Man I'm gonna slice off some TONIGHT!! the Spockster's gettin lucky!!..and no strange VD like the Captain's gettin either..."

 

[MANT!]

Kirk : You mean it wrinkles up and just FALLS OFF!!!!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Narrator: "Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Rand: "I'd blow you, if your shirt was torn just a little more . . ."

Spock: ". . . and so you have to understand, in this time period, all Vulcan men ejaculate prematurely."

 

[Gertch]

"We'll get the wig back in time Captain. To worry about it is illogical."

Smelling salts became standard equipment after the Captain OD'd on Enyte.

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock: Both of them. Yeeess, just like that.

Kirk: Both-- wait, you mean... ?

Rand: Mmm-hmmmm.

 

[Shatmandu]

The moment Kirk realizes he has one of the purple blemishes on his hardening wang.

 

[Silvermane]

"When I get nervous I like to put my fingers under my arms and then smell them, like this!"

 

[BriGuy]

Mrs. Kirk thought it was quite the clever plan to have her dateless son attend the prom with a mop wearing a dress.

 

[Shatmandu]

Zarabeth: ". . . it's my first time back there. So you promise you'll stop, if I say it hurts too much?"
Spock: "Or nerve-pinch you, one of the two."

Kirk: "Of you, Yeoman, I can only say this: of all the vaginas I have encountered in my travels, yours was the most . . . <chokes up> accomodating."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk, thinking: Do I tell her that's me or admit that it's actually my new iPhone?