TOS Caption Contest #41: About Damned Time

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

I was genuinely touched to see the concern for my absense. Thank you all for that. I loved the "Missing" headline and picture, and the Roserem (sp?) ad was a nice touch.

I have a couple of excuses: May in Indianapolis is busier than Rosie O'Donnell's therapist, and there are people in TNZ who were not raised properly. But now May is all over, and I've realized discussing anything in TNZ is like arguing with a duck: all you're going to get in return is an infrequent quack.

The best from our extended selection for last time are:

The Squire of Gothos said:

Kirk wasn't sure how he was supposed to teach Charlie about safety in the gym when nearby, a crew man was still using hedge clippers to scratch his back...

galleywest said:

Jim's latest idea gets Spock-blocked.

Congrats to the both of you!

This week's bits are:

Joe, likes fuzzies

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Laughing Vulcan (2x), jayrath, scottydog (2x), Gertch (2x), Guartho, Tristan, TBonz (2x), Woulfe, terranova, Rat Boy, Battrekker, AlphaTrionTJW, M'Sharak, Galleywest, Outpost4, Quo Vadimus, all y'all, cooleddie74, FishDS9, Nerys Myk and TigerOfDarkness, scottydog (3x) and Rat Boy (2x), Outpost4 (2x) and TBonz (3x), Rat Boy (3x) and commodore64, Rat Boy (4x!) and Noname Given, DeafPoet and The Tone, scottydog (4x!) and Nerys Myk (2x) & Redfern, The Tone (2x) and DrBob and cooleddie74 (2x) and Gertch (3x) and Shatmandu and Outpost4 (3x) and The Laughing Vulcan (3x) and Tharpdevenport and ancient and Woulfe (2x), cakes516 and Adam Ihle, Nerys Myk (3x) and cooleddie74 (3x), Tharpdavenport and Outpost4 (4x), Rat Boy (5x!) and Nerys Myk (4x), The Squire of Gothos and Nerys Myk (5x!), Gertch (4x) and Turbo, scottydog (5x!) and Rat Boy (6!!)and cooleddie74 (4x), Tharpdavenport (2x) and goldbug, The Laughing Vulcan (4x) and The Squire of Gothos (2x), The Squire of Gothos (3x), and galleywest (2x)!

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "I've never felt so alive, so manly . . ."

McCoy: "Oddly enough, both their pubic hair is a taupe color."

 

[Gertch]

Glad you're back Shatmandu

and I've realized discussing anything in TNZ is like arguing with a duck: all you're going to get in return is an infrequent quack.

I hear ya. But still have to go back every couple of months to remind myself.


Congrats to the WINNERS!

Sulu (goofy): "You know, I'm used to a much longer barrel."

"So there was Sulu with these pretty little things on his arms and he just hands them over! Says he doesn't know how to use one."



And I just now noticed they have strange colored belly button lint.

 

[Shatmandu]

Gertch said:
And I just now noticed they have strange colored belly button lint.

TOS Remastered is your friend.

Joe, who once got a piece of popcorn lodged in his belly button

 

[CaptainJon]

Sulu: "Hopefully with my new girlfriend, all those gay jokes can be put to rest."

McCoy: "Sorry, Sulu, but I gotta up you on this one. I got two!"
Sulu (off-screen): "Shit."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, to Yeoman Barrows: "I got to nail both these broads, and I didn't have to get stabbed through the goddamned chest to do it, either . . ."

Sulu: "I either have to have sex with this woman or play Russian roulette with this gun?"
Kirk: "Yep."
Sulu: "Do I spin this little dial here or what?"

 

[scottydog]

Girl: I'm glad I can make you so happy.

Sulu: You don't make me happy. You make me gay.

 

[terranova]

On the amusment park planet, getting arrested by the police is enjoyable.

The yeoman was a little disapointed that Sulu was more interested in the gun that her bosom.

 

[scottydog]

McCoy played his invisible accordian with two make-believe women at his side. Starfleet medical labeled this phenomenon an "accordrazine hallucination".

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "You just stroke it gently, and it'll go off..."
Yeoman: "You know back in the twentieth, they used to say that firearms were phallic symbols."
Sulu: "uhh What?"

McCoy: "I shagged 'em Jim. I shagged 'em silly. 'Bones' isn't such a stupid nickname now is it?"

Kirk: "His first threesome. I feel so proud."

 

[Mallory]

Shatmandu said:
I was genuinely touched to see the concern for my absense. Thank you all for that. I loved the "Missing" headline and picture, and the Roserem (sp?) ad was a nice touch.

Welcome back Joe. Sometimes real life does tend to get in the way of the important things like Caption This contests on a Star Trek BBS. Quite understandable. And I hear you about TNZ. One can get lost in there quite easily. Sadly, like Gertch I have to wonder back in there from time to time myself just to see if anything's changed.

In any event, welcome back!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Is it wierd that I was daydreaming about my last family reunion right before these two popped up?"

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"You shoulda been here a few minutes ago, Captain...capped this big talking rabbit in the ass!"

McCOY:"The one on my left is Bambi. The one on my right is Tawny. They're both randy!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "I was thinking of something very hard, black, and ready to erupt with great force . . ."
Barrows, after a pause: "Try it again."

McCoy, to Yeoman Barrows: "Nah, baby, nah, I didn't do nothin'! It wasn't like that at all! C'mon . . ."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mirror-McCoy: "They've each got a dong this big! My anus could double as a beer huggie!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"This thing's great, Captain! Can put a two-inch hole in a tree trunk...or this broad here if she doesn't leave me alone and remember I'm gay."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Emily Banks: George, the big smile and stroking the gun? Not really helping with the rumors.

De: Looks like the studio finaly found a use for all your old hairpieces Bill.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Found it under a rock. Like her career after this episode."

"Sorry, Jim. There were only two left. If you wanna wait a while, you can have artificially-fabricated sloppy seconds."

 

[Outpost4]

Sulu: Happiness is a warm gun...bang, bang, shoot, shoot...

McCoy: ...and Jim, they rebuilt me with one this long!

 

[Gertch]

"They found a great use for tribbles Jim. We can make a fortune supplying them."