Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #306: Mister Spock

[LeadHead]

Hello to everyone and Happy New year to you all!

First up to the plate, we have the "Captain of the Year" Award, going to Wintermute for:

Captain's log, supplemental: Things look dire. But I'm pretty sure I can still get some. Oh, and save the ship.


Next, we have the "Horizon Appreciation Award" going to Happy Xmas(War is over) for:

KIRK: The end of another successful mission. Once again we've freed a planet from an oppressive A I overlord worshiped as a god.
SPOCK: Have you considered the long term cultural impact of your actions on this planet's inhabitants?
KIRK: Nope. Not my job. Kirk to Enterprise, five to beam up.


Next, we have the "Time for the Vulcan Nerve Pinch" Award, going to Star of Bethleham for:

Unmade episodes - "A Piece of the Acting" - Kirk is hit by a bolt of energy and thinks he's a 1950s movie producer.
McCoy (os): "So help me, Jim, if you "Leonard, baby" me one more time, I swear..."


Next, we have the "To seek out ways of escaping this universe..." Award, going to Riu, Riu Chiu for:

Spock: Alert the crew. I have located the Captain. He has been transported to the "Hey, Macarena" universe.


Next, we have the "Design Flaw" Award, going to tharpdevenport for:

After several minutes of trying deck after deck after deck and unable to locate a bathroom, Kirk has no choice but to.....

The Tribbles are generous this contest! They have multiplied the one award into three!

First, JonnyQuest037:

FLEET ADMIRAL NOGURA: "Still don't want to be an Admiral, Kirk? Well, what if I throw in this genuine, scale replica pendant of the Enterprise? NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY?!?"

Second, 2takesfrakes:

Captain's Personal Log - Supplemental: Could I be losing my sex appeal? When the hell did the little Russian guy start getting 'the girl,' instead of me?

Third, Leviathan:

Kirk: The Captain. Does not need. To respect. Punctuation.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

We've had some fun with Captain Kirk, now lets give proper attention to his loyal and logical First Officer, Mister Spock!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Battling for the last word is illogical.
...
...
Spock: Suckers.

Spock: Mister Scott, stop worrying about the Whiskey! Repair the thrusters or we will collide with that star!

Kirk: Spock can you explain why that cluster of stars have disappeared?

Spock: Coffee stains, I'll get it.

Spock: Logically, I cannot chose which of you I like better.

Alices: Awwwwwwww......

Kyle: (over comm) Captain Kirk has beamed aboard.

Spock: Mister Scott, I am comfortable. Deactivate the turbolifts.

 

[JonnyQuest037]

Thanks again for the (bonus) win!

Spock, Undefeated Mannequin Challenge Champion, 2261-2269.

SPOCK: "Everyone take cover! J.J. Abrams is outside, and he's brought more lens flares!!!"

SPOCK: "Now if you'll look closely, gentlemen, you'll see the comparative box office returns for the movies we directed. This bright cluster of stars represents the combined totals for The Search For Spock, The Voyage Home, and Three Men and a Baby. Captain, that extremely faint star in the distance represents the profits for The Final Frontier."

NIMOY: "You see, Shatner and I have what's called a 'Favored Nations' clause in our contracts. Anything that he gets, I get as well. So the long and the short of it is... You two are coming home with me tonight."

SPOCK: "I am sorry, Mister Scott, but I refuse to speak to you until you receive a more flattering hairstyle."

 

[FormerLurker]

SPOCK: "I am sorry, Mister Scott, but I refuse to speak to you until you receive a more flattering hairstyle."

SCOTTY: "Aww, tha's not fair. This is the more flattering hairstyle!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Nimoy: How did my bike get up there? BILL....

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kyle: (over comm) Captain Kirk has beamed aboard.

Scotty: Ah, he likes that chair...

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Perhaps, mother was right. I do need to make some friends.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHATNER: Len, stop poking holes in the pictures. Those things have to last all season!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCk: I assure you, the rumors are true. So it's not going to be a problem.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: How the hell did those creatures get hold of circular saw?
BOMA: I was wondering where I dropped that...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Female Carlina Spock is not impressed with your logic.

 

[Orac]

While Kirk admired Spock's dedication to collecting boogers from various species, McCoy thought he was a weirdo.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Spock attempts to interest Kirk and McCoy in his latest hobby: Lite Brite.

"My illogical senses are tingling. Either Doctor McCoy is behaving irrationally or Captain Kirk is accompanying the away team to the planet's surface."

Spock: "Mr. Scott, a moment of your time. Which of my profiles is superior, the right or the left?"

Spock: "Mr. Scott, who was the last person to sit on this chair?"
Scott: "I dinna know, sir. I just came from engineering. Why?"
Spock: "Either the ceiling is leaking, or I am about to have a very embarrassing conversation with the past shift's duty officer about caffeine's diuretic properties..."

 

[Noname Given]

Mr. Spock's attempt at Conducting the Galaxy remotely met with limited success.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "I have pin pointed the source of the important sub space communication. It's right there, next to that blue thingy."

Kirk: "Oh. Wait -- isn't that the same image that's been up there for two years now?"

Spock: "And it's finally come in handy. If I were human I might cite the blind squirrel and a nut analogy. If I were human."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Instead of doing your abstract fish painting mind telling us what the hell is shooting at us?

Spock: Lt. Uhura, please contact the Captain.

Uhura: Aye Sir.

Kirk's voice over bridge speakers: This is Captain Kirk's communicator. I'm unable to answer it right now because I'm either butt punching someone or boffing some hot person. Please leave your message and comm frequency after the beep. [beeeeeep]

Spock: These sum bitches right here are the ones causing all problems.

 

[Triskelion]

If Chekov doesn't have his hall pass this time, he's going back to Russia, I tell you what.

Spock: Wait a minute, there are no invisible bunnies on this planet - they're playing spin the tricorder without me!

Kirk: Gee, you named a star after me? How thoughtful. What's it called, Kirk's Star? Tiberius?
Spock: Kirk's Ego.
Kirk: Only a Giant star? Not even a Bright Giant or a Supergiant?
Bones: How about a Hypergiant?
Kirk: Well let's not get greedy, Bones.

Spock: One of you going home disappointed would be illogical.

Scotty: So I was thinkin' of growin' a beard? But I cannae decide between a Software Developer or a Unix Admin. Have ye got any advice, Mister Spock?
Spock: A Software Developer is something you would grow out of. A Unix Admin would be something you could grow into.
Scotty: Aye, yer a wise man, Mister Spock.
Spock: It's not my first space rodeo, Mister Scott.

 

[Tenacity]

Kirk: "Bones what did you do?"
McCoy: "Yep, it's the old super glue on the display screen trick."
Spock: "I'm losing feeling in my arm."

Spock: "So in other words this device is a ..."
Alice: "Sex toy."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Spock: "Fascinating. Usually when sparks fly on an away team, it is not in the literal sense of the word. Also, the captain is absent..."
McCoy: "Who wants to go in there and shut him up? Raise your hand."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Spock: There. The final brush-stroke. We are now ready to review the scan.
Kirk: Excellent work, as always, Mr. Spock.
McCoy: Jim, don't you think the scanners would be more effective if we used actual monitors?