TOS Caption Contest #293: Friday's Caption

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Your aim looks off.

KIRK: Doesn't matter, they'll CGI in the arrows in post.

SPOCK: Doubtful. It's the 60s,CGI is decades away and we're on a tight TV budget.

KIRK: Damn.

 

[Ithekro]

Kirk: Would you say these are just a little bit better than stone knives and bear skins?

Spock: Barely Captain.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "You say you doused this in nitro-what-now?"

Kirk *fires*

Kirk: "...never mind."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Summer Vacation 2258

MAAB: Visit Vulcan she said. It's wonderfull this time of year...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "All right, who ordered the circumcision?"

 

[Ithekro]

Scotty: This report says they have catwomen on this planet.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "You could just neck pinch him and save us a lot of time."

Spock: "I would if they'd hold still."

 

[Triskelion]

McCoy: They're fighting over whether it's a mobile home if the wheels go flat?
Spock: We have officially become trailer trash.

Yeoman: Are you dyslexic?
Scotty: No, sober.

Kirk: Are you sure these are the best weapons in a zombie apocalypse?
Spock: Look, we're not trying your sexy zombie debutante bit.

Kirk: Who's got the clicker?
Uhura: Oh I stored that with the quartermaster. It's only two decks down.
Chekov: Permission to load the Communications officer into a torpedo tube and fire it at the nearest sun, Keptin?
Kirk: Granted. But only after she's back from the Quartermaster with the clicker.

Blonde: That sign back there said Slow Children Playing. I think that's so mean.
Dude: Shut up Beth!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "You know, if ya held the bloody thing still, my signature wouldn't look like it was written by a 5 year old."

 

[BK613]

Vasquez: Let's rock!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Capellan: "You know, contrary to prior captions, this might be a good time to not hold still."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Kanye West rushed the stage again. What is this? 2009?"

McCoy: "My God, Jim. Next thing you know, Running Spock will be making a comeback."

 

[johcomp]

Kirk: "Spock, please pay attention - not only were you and Miss Uhura late to arrive, but ever since the start of this briefing, you've been strangely distracted by the smell of your left index finger!"

Uhura: <shifts uncomfortably and coughs>

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "...you never cry when I sing..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I've called this meeting so we can all binge watch the last season of Walking Dead

KIRK: Again, I'm sorry about that spoiler.

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "Mind if I ask vhy I, the lowliest ensign on the whole with many other ensigns and lieutenants senior to me, am sitting in on a senior staff meeting?"

Kirk: "We need someone to run to the deli and pick up our sandwiches. Uhura has our orders written down."

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Too bad the planet doesn't have any good rock climbing areas.
Bones: Oh, he's a rock climber now.
Kirk: What? I used to climb all the time.
Bones: In the canyons of Iowa, I suppose?
Kirk: Yes, as a matter of fact, in the canyons of Iowa. Why, I remember once driving a Corvette -
Bones: Driving a Corvette?? I suppose they were still manufacturing petroleum in Iowa too? To fuel internal combustion sports cars, even though the entire world was using antigravity vehicles since centuries before you were born?
Kirk: As a matter of fact, it was a convertible -
Spock: Can't be Iowa they drop Red Matter on, no....

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I say the dress is white and gold!"

Spock: "It is blue and black."

Kirk: "White and gold!"

Spock: "Blue and black."

Kirk: "That's it! I'll rip your pointed ears off!"

McCoy: "...maybe we need to stop web browsing in the middle of staff meetings."

 

[fonzob1]

"I love this episode. It's the one where TJ Hooker jumps on the hood of a car."

"Look. It's the latest montage of funny cat videos."

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Watch out! The Penis rock is cumming!"