TOS Caption Contest #291: The Caption with Tribbles

[FormerLurker]

Kirk: I don't believe it!
Spock: Problem, Captain?
Kirk: Someone jostled my scale model of the Ark of the Covenant!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Really? New caption contest? I ought to try my hand at Photoshopping."

Scotty: "Forget it. Nerys Myk is on a roll."

Diamond Jim: "Beckwith's been holding out on us again."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Ah, this must be the controls for "The Transformed Man."

Chekov: Is it too late to request a transfer?

Uhura: Pavel, will you sit still! This little guy will suck out all that earwax in no time at all.

Kirk thought Scotty was spending just a little too much time watching Hot, Gorged Engines 4 while off duty.

Spock: Captain, may I inquire as to why you are attempting to disassemble that small power device?

Kirk: Relax, Spock. It's just a salt and battery.

 

[Captain April]

Kirk: Red rover, red rover, I call Sulu over.

 

[Captain April]

Chekov: Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts...

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Pull my finger."

Koloth: "All right."

*Koloth then rips Kirk's finger off*

 

[Valin]

Chekov: Why do people keep putting creatures in my ear?

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: Not now Madeline!

UHURA: Not now Madeline!

SPOCK: Not now Madeline!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Disco Kirk is Discawesome!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da6k9WOROCM

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Video games, Scotty?"
Scotty: "Aye. I'm watchin' this Lara Croft lassie crawlin' through this tight squeeze of a tunnel. Over and over again."
Kirk: "I don't think you get the point of this game, Scotty."
Scotty: "Oh, I think I do!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "...vould you kindly stop playing with my earring?"

 

[Maurice]

SPOCK: Seriously, Jim, even you can't get that lucky.
KIRK: IIIII'M Captain Kirk!

KIRK: Carol, I told you, what happens in Space Vegas stays in Space Vegas!

 

[Karzak]

KIRK: We'd better get to the tower, Spock.
SPOCK: We have no tower, sir.
KIRK: No tower?
SPOCK: Just a bridge, sir.
KIRK: Why the hell aren't I notified about these things?

 

[Redfern]

Uhura: "Her 'tuft', it just fell off M'Ress' tail...and I swear it's breathing! Listen!!!"

Sincerely,

Bill

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Look at that shuttlecraft. It's about to crash! It's flying right over Macho Grande!

Spock: Over Macho Grande, sir?

Kirk: No, Spock, I'm afraid I'll never get over Macho Grande.

 

[f14peter]

KIRK: "Spock! There's a problem with that transporter over there!"

SPOCK: "What is it Captain?"

KIRK: "It's a device that converts our body into energy, and sends or retrieves it from another location, then reassembles it in its original form, but that's not important right now! Mr Lurry, we must get this fixed or we will all die!"

LURRY: "Surely you can't be serious?"

KIRK: "I am serious ... and don't call me Shirley"

JONES: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit snorting cordrazine"

 

[Triskelion]

KIRK: I speak jive....

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "We'll get you down...and down safe."

*Safe crushes Jones*

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "A laser claymore! What will they think of next?"

Kirk: "New Star Wars trailer?"

Scotty: "Nah, Klingon home shopping channel."

 

[Finn]

Chekov: *under his breath* I just wet myself… I gotta relieve myself somehow

Kirk: Ensign, you look like you need a break. There's a line down there with Khan and the Augments. But you have my permission to cut in front.

Chekov: Thank you!