TOS Caption Contest #290: Where No Caption Has Gone Before

[Hutchy01]

Shatner: Yes, Gary they're quite high the heels.

 

[EnsignTOS]

Shatner: "Space. The final frontier..."

Kirk: Hey, look! There's a show about us!
Spock: (*Confused, yet fascinated*)

It is the pizza guy, captain. He says that if we order pepperoni, we will have to wait for approximately 55.7 minutes to an hour and a half.

Kirk: I already told you it's normal, Lieutenant!

"I WANNA THANK MY LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE!!!!!!!"

"Mister...Spock. I will never. Babysit your catseveragain!!!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "It's nothing but a continuous moving star field? And it goes on for how long?"
Spock: "Eight hours. Granted, the artistic works of Andy Warhol IV of Alpha Centauri are an acquired taste."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Yes, I know we're sponsored by Bose, but I'm not giving up my Beats by Dre. Fine me!"

Insult to injury, he was only getting a 3G signal.

 

[Nebusj]

First up to the plate, we have the "Never ignore the moderators" Award, going to:

Kirk: ``You? Ignored the moderator's warnings too?''
Spock: ``It was … a most difficult thread.''

Thanks kindly!

Kirk: ``We must be entering vampire space. It doesn't cast a reflection.''

Spock: ``It seems to be an elderly man asking for a 'Myrt' and wondering 'how's every li'l thing'?''
Kirk: ``Give him to Uhura.''

Kirk: ``You made it almost all the way through 2001: A Space Odyssey and you're falling asleep on our action?''

Mitchell: ``Let there be food. Kaferian apples. Abundance ... Doctor, are you growing stegosaurus plates out of your spine?''
Dehner: ``Don't judge me, Gary.''

Kirk: ``Note to ship's laundry, I said 'light starch', not, 'nitroglycerine'. Kirk out.''

 

[Rat Boy]

The fleeting millisecond where Gary Lockwood thought he had a shot at starring in SyFy's adaptation of 3001.

 

[f14peter]

KIRK: "Spock, look at this ... isn't this the most pathetic idea ever? Families, children even on a spaceship ... An annoying little sh#tbird 'boy genius' constantly making trouble ... An artificial being as a regular character ... An endless stream of too-humanlike so-called aliens on earthlike planets ... who would think that could make a successful program?"
SPOCK: "Captain, it may be premature to assess the lack of potential for such a storyline."

MITCHELL: "GIVE ME A HUG YOU GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL PLANET!!!!!!"
DEHNER (muttering): "God-like? More like moron-like"

the real reason Elizabeth Dehner turned on Gary Mitchell

DEHNER: "Gary, do these pants make my ass look big?"
MITCHELL: "Only about this big"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Remarkably, I am unable to detect any signals of any kind."

Kirk: "That's because that's the microphone."

 

[Delta Vega]

Kirk : "Spock, WTF have you done to your eyebrows ?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I hope it's the one with the monster on the airplane's wing."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer is a great video.

SPOCK: Indeed.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Kirk: Damn, I hate astroblocking!

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Captain, it's not fair that you get the only unobstructed view of the TV in the rec room. Can we not at least move our chairs to a more favorable angle?
Kirk: Belay that, Mister.
Spock: Well can I move this increasingly irritating chess board to another spot on the table?
Kirk: Sure, if you want to be demoted to Ensign Dumbass like the Doctor.
Bones: At least tell us what Magnum's mustache looks like this week, Jim!
Kirk: No promises, Ensign Dumbass!
Spock: !@#$% 3D chess BS.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Is that one of my shirts you're wearing?"
Spock: "Technically, they are all Starfleet's shirts."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: When you volunteered to DJ the party, I assumed you'd be playing more than Vulcan meditative chants.

 

[f14peter]

http://smg.photobucket.com/user/f14peter/media/Kirk_Marcus.jpg.html



KIRK: "Carol! How great to hear from you"
CAROL: "Hi Jim ... um ... we need to talk"
KIRK: "Of course Carol, what is it?"
CAROL: "Remember last month when I told you I thought I was late?"
KIRK: "Of course I remember, but don't be too hard on yourself Carol, you never could get anywhere on time."
CAROL: "That's not what I mean!"
SPOCK (Thinking): for the love of Surak, here comes another "I'm pregnant Jim" message

 

[EnsignTOS]

Kirk: Damn, I hate astroblocking!

 

[Rat Boy]

Dehner: "Gary, you've been standing like that for five minutes."

Mitchell: "That's because I threw out my back."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Dehner: "Great. I finally hook up with a god, and he's got TV-budget tastes."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Mitchell: Free at last, free at last, thank me almighty, free at last!

Kirk: What's this we're looking at?
Spock: A cloaked ship.
Kirk: How can you tell?
Spock: You can see the outline if you use your peripheral vision. Do not look directly at the object, look to the side.
Kirk: How can I look to the side of the ship if I don't know where the ship is?!
And so the new-captain hazing commenced.