TOS Caption Contest #271: The Tholian Caption

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "Never mind, Doctor. The captain's 'final instructions' tape turns out to be just Betty and Veronica lesbian porn."
McCoy: "Live action?"
Spock: "Afraid not."

(Will you forgive me for stealing your pic, T'Girl?)

 

[T'Girl]

^ Always.

 

[Finn]

Bones: Is Chekov around?

Spock: No. Why?

Bones: I'm not in the mood to hear him say that this blasted recipe was invented in Russia

Scotty: Aye! It was created by my grandmother in a Glasgow pub!

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Now when I ask you if you participated in last night's roofie orgy on deck 12 say aye. Ensign Akbar? Ensign Akbar?

Uhura <whispers>: Yes, fool.

Ensign Akbar: Yes? And -

Spock: Let me guess. It was a trap.

Kirk: Good Lord! Somebody raise the camera angle!

Hey! Hey nurse! Come back vith my vallet! Rolling johns was a Russian inwention!

Bones: He was a teen idol, Spock! His brain can't handle a regulation haircut! For heaven's sake you suggested your barber!

Spock: Noted, Doctor.

Scotty: He stayed at his post while the other hippies ran.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HARRISON: Is this gonna take long? I didn't even know this "Curt" guy.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: - And in light of last week's screening of Psycho, I must ask you all not to shout at the screen.

Uhura: You better not be looking at me.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Spock: This week's sermon is on the logic of controlling one's emotions.

Ensign Ackbar: Oh, brother.

Uhura: That's Lieutenant, Ensign.

 

[T'Girl]

Spock: "By my count there are six gold shirts, six blue shirts,
~~~~~ but seven red shirts, an adjustment must be made.

Officer (next to Uhura): "Glad I'm indispensable around here."

Spock: "Ensign Ricky, report for landing party duty."

Officer (next to Uhura): "Ah shit."

 

[Triskelion]

Ensign Ackbar: Bet you twenty quatloos he says "logical" in the next thirty seconds.
Uhura: You're on, fool.
Spock: Ensign Ackbar, talking during a briefing is not log-
Ackbar: Mmmm?
Spock: -Like.
Ackbar: Awwww.
Spock: As a Vulcan, log-
Ackbar: Mmmm?
Spock: -istically speaking, we have to make the shipment rendezvous on time.
Ackbar: Awwww.
Spock: I told the captain it would not be log-
Ackbar: Mmmm?
Spock: -aniaceae dicotyledonous plants of the order Gentianales, but magnoliopsid.
Ackbar: Awwww.
Uhura: Pay up, fool.
Spock: Logically.

 

[Danger Ace]

I think this thread has sadly been forgotten.

 

[LeadHead]

Wrong! Just been busy. Working on setting up a new one either tonight or tomorrow.

 

[Triskelion]

Woman in back row, texting: spks a jrk lol.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: It has been two centuries and no shipboard floods have been reported. Starfleet is returning crew uniforms to standard pant lengths.

Scotty: Never got sucked through a brewery, have they.

Ensign Ackbar <whispering>: Let it go!

 

[LeadHead]

Sorry people. I was wrong about my promise of starting this earlier. The next few weeks are going to be HUGE for me. I'll do my best to be punctual, but I can't guarantee it, so please bear with me for the next month while this goes on.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Next, Dr McCoy will give a talk about avoiding intimate contact with aliens.

ACKBAR: Cripes,not the "Space is disease and danger, wrapped in darkness and silence" again!

 

[Danger Ace]

Sorry people. I was wrong about my promise of starting this earlier. The next few weeks are going to be HUGE for me. I'll do my best to be punctual, but I can't guarantee it, so please bear with me for the next month while this goes on.

No need to be sorry. Real life always comes first. I feel bad that my previous post may have sounded pushy. I hope all is well and, on the bright side, it gives people more opportunity to contribute.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Maintain heading and speed, Doctor.
Scotty: And keep givin' her all she's got.
Bones: He's dead drunk, Jim.

Spock: He kept saying he had a critical duty to perform. I misunderstood.
Bones: You thought he meant -
Spock: Helm control.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: So, who had "trapped on a starship fading from our reality" in the pool?

 

[LeadHead]

Sorry people. I was wrong about my promise of starting this earlier. The next few weeks are going to be HUGE for me. I'll do my best to be punctual, but I can't guarantee it, so please bear with me for the next month while this goes on.

No need to be sorry. Real life always comes first. I feel bad that my previous post may have sounded pushy. I hope all is well and, on the bright side, it gives people more opportunity to contribute.

No worries! You weren't pushy. I try to keep the contests as consistent as I can. I feel that it's the least I can do, since people keep coming back to caption every time.

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest is up!