TOS caption contest # 268 What's up?

[T'Girl]

Trelane (OS): "Now, the two females will fight for the man dressed in blue.""
Sulu: "Hey hey hey ... "

Kirk: "My penis is larger than yours."
Rojan : ""My penis is larger than yours."
Kelinda: "Shut up, My penis is larger than both of yours."
Kirk: "Yeah, so ... wait a minute ... what?"

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Exercise extreme caution, Captain. The bee colony appears agitated and ready to swarm if provoked.
Kirk: I've...got an idea, Spock.
Girl: It's just a hairdo, you idiot!

Kirk: Just between you, me and the lamppost, who does your 'piece?

 

[Triskelion]

It is a plethora of gynarchical genera, Captain.

What?

A taxonomy of reproductive antipodes.

Huh?

It is a bevy of distaff soubrettes, Captain.

Huh?

A profusion of fecund pair bond candidates, Captain.

Come again?

An assemblage of conceptive gamines, Captain.

Spit it out, Spock!

That's what she said, Captain.

Rojan: Are those real?
Girl: Klingons.

 

[Armored Saint]

Spock: The Harry Mudd's transvestite is just in front of us with Sulu, capitain.
Kirk: You will not have to warn him Mea, he was not fooled.

Kirk: Of course she's a real woman! Now, give us those crystals, we have to get out at warp factor 9 before you've undressed her!

 

[Isis]

Rojan: "Get away from my woman!"

Kirk: "It's OK. It's my Droit-de-Petraeus."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Rojan: "Velour uniform?"
Kirk: "Nope."
Rojan: "Starfleet training?"
Kirk: "No, the fact that I have your girl in my arms is not due to my Starfleet training. But keep guessing! You're getting warmer!"

 

[Balrog]

Mea: If you'll excuse me, Captain, I have an appointment with that disintegration chamber over there...

Kirk: Wait! THAT'S why I've been smelling bacon since we've beamed down to this planet?

Kirk: What can I tell you, Rojan? Chicks dig starships...

Sulu: Oooh! Botany's a recreation of mine as well! But what do you mean by "especially if you can smoke it"?

 

[Triskelion]

Rojan: Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart.

Kirk: Reproductive adapters?

Rojan: Checkout aisle. Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart....

Nice garnish, but I prefer a cocktail umbrella.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: To answer your questions: Yes and no, you can't join us.

 

[Triskelion]

Listen Rojan, try and keep the noise down tonight. Your incessant replaying of I'm All Out of Love is just demoralizing.

 

[Triskelion]

Sulu: Helloooo....

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "You're too late, Rojan. She's learned that one 'tentacle' is enough...with the right man behind it."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: As you can see, I have a lot to be thankful for.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "You should enjoy this, Kelinda. Your first Earth-style Thanksgiving! Ah, I see the turkey's here!"

 

[Ln X]

Spock: Jim, this isn't another lover's quarrel is it?

Kirk: Listen pally I don't think you know the rules of this ship, I'm its captain so I get to erm... sample the women who pass this way.

Sulu: For what you would call love, I would require a man and you my dear sadly lack the relevant parts...

 

[Ln X]

Kirk: Ooh! Muscly! Mr Spock, please send this lady to my quarters and tell the chef to prepare his finest cuisine.
Spock: Should I tell McCoy to provide you two with protection as well?
Kirk: Tonight it might not get that far, but tomorrow...

Kirk: Listen you dumb alien I'm gonna spell it out to you: She... beautiful female... Me... Like her... You... Don't get in the way... Me and she... Go back to ship... On ship... Me and she... Hook up... You got all that?

 

[Isis]

McCoy, Uhura, and Sulu (in unison): "Hey, Manti, did you forget about us?"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Kirk: "What do you say we play a game and the winner gets the girl? There's this really great little game called 'fizzbin'...."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Sulu: "Well, this proves it. Prehistoric starships didn't have phasers....they had rock chuckers."

McCoy: "No more shore leave for you."

Uhura: "Will someone please beam me up...."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Girl: "So, you're Mister....Slutu ?"

Sulu: "Um....er....sort of...."