TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!"

[MANT!]

First..the..(Drum Roll)

Winners!

Kirk: "I don't care if you beat me to death, but I will not listen to Justin Bieber!"

Kelley: "Well, I'm sorry. Adam West told Bill you always liked it when he touched you there."

McCoy: "Tell me Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

Spock: "My operatives will avenge this prank! And some of them are Vulcans!"

And..

Chopshop winnah!!

SPOCKO MARX: That's the most illogical thing I've ever heard!

Lots of good entries, don't think I didn't laugh at them..

On to the next...

Enjoy!

 

[dahj]

Kirk: "Spock, are you sure these will protect us from landsharks?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Dammit woman, what did you say to him?

YEOMAN: I said he was cute and asked him out.

Guys somewhere

Okay freeze frame and zoom. I know I saw it!!!!!!

STONE AGE GUMBY: My brain hurts!

KIRK: Remember on Lost when Sawyer and Kate were locked in cages?

SPOCK: Yes and.....

KIRK: Nothing, this just reminds of that.

 

[UFO]

Krik: Could you give us a minute buddy?

Chekov: I like your boots. What did you say they are called again?

Caveman: Ugg

Kirk: Our captors do realise we can fit between these bars, right?

Spock: I believe the cages are symbolic Captain.

Kirk: Ah, of course, ... what?

 

[Bubbles McGee]

Kirk: Spock, what is it?

Spock: Curious, Captain. There seem to be a large flock of over-sized irate feathered winged bipedal endothermic vertebrate gathering near some sort of catapult device just over the rise back there.

Kirk: Oh #@*$!

 

[Maurice]

SHATNER: What happened to him?
ACTRESS: The director told him how many of his lines you took.
TAKEI: En...sem...ble.
SHATNER: In your dreams!

KIRK: Now, gang, I'll tear off her mask and we'll see who really tried to convince us this planet was haunted. <riiiip> Uh...uh oh...

CHEKOV: Leg varmers? Ve must be on the planet of the 80s.

KIRK: Worst. Shellgame. Ever.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kirk: These people have been living here for milennia, and they've never mastered the rudiments of agriculture?
Chekov: No, sir, but they have at least managed to register with GEICO Car Insurance.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "Kiss me, Hardy..."
Kirk: "Hornblower, not Nelson."

Cloud William: "What you do with post-op Cloud Festus?"

Chekov: "Vhere do you get your vigs?"

Kirk: "I hate these Vietnam allegory episodes!"

 

[R. Star]

Sulu was just holding out for mouth to mouth.

Kirk: She's so easy, a caveman could do her!

Chekov: The furry booties were an original Russian invention!
Kirk: I wouldn't brag about that Chekov.

Kirk: Seriously, could we get imprisoned in a technologically advanced prison just once? It's animated, it's not like there are budget issues!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, MANT!

Kirk: "Granted, Yeoman, he's not exactly what you'd call 'smooth' when it comes to conversing with women. Still, you didn't have to slug him quite that hard."

Kirk: "What's that you say, Sirah? I can have you, but only after I pay the guy in the fur coat? Why does all this seem vaguely familiar?"

Morg: "The women? The women all live underground, completely separated from us men."
Chekov: "I suppose dat vould explain your grooming habits."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Sulu, what happened to you?!

Sulu: Forced... to... watch....reality tv.... (dies)

Kirk: This guy doesn't know either. I knew it was a mistake to stop and ask for directions...

Spock: Captain, why are you smiling?

Kirk: These Amazonian women are supposed to be a lot of fun...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Ensign Gaga, please assist me with the lieutenant.

 

[T'Girl]

Kirk: "The Federation is a instrument of civilization."

Cloud: "Says man in corner, hiding behind woman."

Kirk: "Is there anything we can do for you Sulu?"

Sulu (mumbling): "A MMF three-way would be nice."

Spock suddenly realized that Kirk's idea of shore leave on the Bondage and Domination planet wasn't going to be the "fun" that Kirk said it would be.

(Kirk: "Spock, I know this place where the Dominatrix are sooo ...")

Kirk: "Diplomacy and reason don't seem to be working."

Chekov: "How about I shoot him in the testicles with my 'fire box.' See if that works"




.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Thanks for the win!

Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are less than impressed with the re-imagining of 'The Cage.'

 

[TrickyDickie]

Kirk: "We know that you're one of those pagans from 'Dragnet: 1987'....the goat leggings prove it!"

Chekov: "Vhat....?!?"

 

[dahj]

Mulberry Sellers: There's gold in them thar hills!

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Kirk: "Well, Sulu, now that you're all fixed up in your android body, what shall we do with your old one here?"

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Kirk: "Stay calm and don't move! ... That's the biggest damn tribble I ever saw."

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Morg: "Uh-oh! It is time to change my loincloth."

Kirk: "Chekov, you handle this."

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Kirk: "Well, so far the diplomatic mission to Gilligan's Planet doesn't seem to be a success."