TOS Caption Contest #255 "Whups!"

[MANT!]

Damn if I didn't hit the Mega Millions...oh well on to Business..

Riley: She thought you were gay?

Sulu: I know, right?

Spock: Do you come here often?

This was not the year Star Trek would win an Emmy for its props.

Mudd (shielding eyes): "Jesus, Kirk! Point that thing somewhere else, willya!"

Very good entries..now be brutal!!

 

[Green Shirt]

Thanks for letting me know I wasn't zipped up!!

or

Spock: "Really Dr. McCoy, you should learn to govern your passions. They will be your undoing."

or

If Scotty had let me borrow his crotch shield, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

or

Jim, it was a simple uniform malfunction. You've certainly had enough of them over the years.

 

[Green Shirt]

Spock performs titty twister on self in an attempt to distract enemy while Kirk prepares to go into action.

 

[T'Girl]

Sulu: "Look just calm down, Riley will get you some butter."

Crewman: "And bread, I want some bread ... now!"

McCoy: "If we were going to be allowed to crossdress, someone could have bothered to tell me."

Kirk: "Sorry Bone, but you don't have the legs for it, like some people do."

Scotty: "Got me mums gams."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, MANT!

Sulu: "That's just a butter knife! He'd have to stab me pretty hard to do any damage with that!"
Riley: "Something tells me he doesn't have any qualms about doing that."

Kirk: "No, we don't have any identification papers. But...the lieutenant here has a nice, crisp ten dollar bill in his pocket!"
Spock: "Indeed!"

McCoy: "Starfleet Command is saying that if Scotty wants to wear a kilt, it has to be the same length as the standard female duty uniform!"
Kirk: "Dear God! Nobody wants to see that!"

 

[Bones_McCoy21]

Kirk: My friend here is obvioulsy Chinese

Spock: Captain, your memory must be faulty. I'm Vulcan and we are both Jews

Kirk: Damn!

McCoy: What do you want me to do about it! I can't help that Scotty has turned transexual on us.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

The crew's production of West Side Story did not go over well with the Admiralty.

Officer: I don't know. How DO you make a Nazi cross?

Kirk: Jump on his feet! Get it?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Lets go with the rice picker story again. I've a feeling it'll work.

SPOCK: There's always a first time.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Spock: Captain, I regret that the Ekosians have discovered our disguise. How do you propose we extricate ourselves from this situation?

Kirk: You don't speak German, do you, Spock?

Spock: No, I do not.

Kirk: Then stand back... "Wenn ist das Nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"

Officer: That's not funny... (pause) Die FLIPPERWALDT gersput! (dies)

 

[Maurice]

JOE: It's PARKAY! Not butter! Got it?!

KIRK: I thought Nazis were supposed to be funny.
SPOCK: Hogan's Heroes is not a Historical Document, Captain.

BONES: And then Scotty sat down and he's not wearing...well, my heart isn't what it used to be!

M3 GREEN: This is difficult for me, Captain!
KIRK: Are you saying it's not easy being Green?
SPOCK: Ugh.

 

[Maurice]

...
Kirk: Then stand back... "Wenn ist das Nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"

Officer: That's not funny... (pause) Die FLIPPERWALDT gersput! (dies)

Ha! I get that!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Why does he say this "baby"? The Führer has never said "baby"

 

[UFO]

Kirk: Yes Spock, I know the trains run on time.

McCoy: Well you’re just jealous! Come on Scotty, we’re out of here.

M3 Green: If you must know there was a colourist strike.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

KIRK: "So I was thinking, rather than Aryans being the Master Race, why not Orions? I knew this green girl once, and -"

Spock: "We've been over this, Captain".

M3 GREEN: "I may throw up on you".

Spock: "It was unwise to install that mirror, Captain".

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: What do you want me to do about it! I can't help that Scotty has turned transexual on us.

Heather: "If you'd just give me the reassignment surgery you opinionated twat."

Kirk: "Look Scotty ... "

Heather: "It's Heather now."

Kirk: "The authorities are gaining on us Spock."

Spock: "As a mode of escape, the selection of a Zamboni ice resurfacer may have been a mistake Captain."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Spock: (to Kirk) Sir, this officer will not allow us to enter the compound unless we perform the Ekosian Nipple Tweak. Allow me to demonstrate...

 

[inflatabledalek]

Sulu: Look, it was an April Fools Day joke. A really obvious one, I was more poking fun at myself and my years of obviously self deluded claims about getting my own series...

Crewman: I don't care, for half an hour I really believed there was going to be a Captain Sulu movie, and as a joyless internet pedant I must have my revenge!

Spock: Who is this Godwin of whom you speak?

McCoy: Sorry Jim, turns out Scotty did murder all those prostitutes after all.

Kirk: The joy of animation is we can do things we could never do on a live action TV budget. Like an unconvincing green alien, a planet that looks like a studio and a crappy spaceship prop.

 

[Disruptor]

"Trying to butter me up? Well, I'll butter you up real good!"

Kirk: "Ich ein Berliner!"

German: "You are a pastry?!"

McCoy: "If he gets to wear that I get to wear my cowboy hat."
Kirk: "Bones, we've been through this before...no hats."

Kirk: "Keep a sharp eye on him, Spock. He was notorious for attacking his enemies while pretending to negotiate peace."

Alien: "Again, I'm not your 'Colonel Green'. I just happen to be green and a colonel. *Sigh*"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk: "Yes, I'm a student of Earth history. Hitler was the guy who did those funny "reaction" videos on the early internet, am I right?"

*Spock makes the "historical inaccuracy: abort" sign*

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "We're here on the direct orders of the Fuhrer! Adolph...uh, Adolph.........Meat Tenderizer?"
Spock: "Hitler."
Kirk: "Hitler! Adolph Hitler!"