TOS Caption Contest #240: Open Your Own Damn Frequencies!

[jep]

Kirk: "Well, let me explain. First, the man asked for Carl Spock, not Karl Marx. Second, you're not even in the correct image. You want that one over there... the one with Uhura and Spock."


.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk and Uhura wondered how one of the Oak Ridge Boys wound up on the Enterprise.

 

[Captain Crow]

Oak Ridge Boy: ELVIRA!

Elvira: What?

 

[jep]

Bill: "You know, Captain, they say space is a straight up cold, dark, bitch, but it doesn't bother me. I mean, have you seen the ice queen I'm married to?"

Kirk: "(Cough-cough) Uh, Mr. President..."

Bill: "I mean... she's like a black hole.... sucking the life out of everything aroun... Aw man, she's right behind me, isn't she?"


.

 

[SeerSGB]

Uhura: Mr. President, can you settle a bet between me and the captain?
Lincoln: About?
Uhura: Your wife, Mary Todd. We were wondering...
Lincoln: This again? Fine, yes, she was a complete freak in the sack.
Kirk: Told you Uhura, crazy ones always are.

 

[A beaker full of death]

*AHEM*. I'm up here.

 

[Isis]

Nurse: "Rough time with the Platonians?"

Uhura: "Actually, no. Captain who doesn't use mouthwash."

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

CARL: Miss Uhura, please inform A.V.I.A.F. that, "Carl Spock don't do requests."

UHURA: You do realize that he can see you.

CARL: damn