TOS Caption Contest #240: Open Your Own Damn Frequencies!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Hi All! Sorry for being MIA for so long and thanks for your patience. Now, for:





Decaf,Schmeecaf!

Guard: "OK, who spiked the Sanka?"

Nothing like cool fudge sliding down your throat in the middle of a firefight!

Kirk: Hey Bones, got any spare change? I want to get a fudgesicle.

Thank-you! Finally!

Thanx for the win!




GrammarNazi: It should have been 'TO GO BOLDLY, where no man has gone before', not 'TO BOLDLY GO, where no man has gone before'. Here on Ekos, you can split an infinitive only once in your life, and never again.

Overkill, anyone?

SPOCK: Perhaps, using a Vulcan neck pinch on the mouse might have been a better idea.

Parts that didn’t make the behind the scenes documentary!

DOOHAN: Step on my lines ONE more time, Bill...and I'll smoke your ass.

Got it??

I am still recovering from this one!

Sulu: "No, this is my weapon and my gun! It's for shooting and for fun!"
Tonia (sighs): "I give up!"

And our PhotoShop winners are:




Practice makes perfect!

Well, I couldn't very well 'shop into the pic Scotty's main thruster and bairns hanging out, now could I?


.

Ah, you disappoint. Surely there is a way to displaying his haggis without violating the rules of the board?

Ok... I accept your challenge.... but this is about as brave as I get. (And If I get in trouble, it's your fault

):





Scotty: "This is my weapon, this is my gun - this one's for shooting, this one's for fun."

Spock, Kirk and Chekov: "That... is impressive, sir."

Truly disturbing...I like it!

You damn space hippies! Not this time! Not this war!

Congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone who entered.

This week: It’s everyone’s favourite xenolinguist....Uhura! Have at it!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Wow! Dr.C Everett Koop, right here on the bridge!!





SPOCK: I assure you, my relationship with Miss Uhura is totally professional!

UHURA: That's not what you said lastnight, honey!




UHURA: Take a picture, boys. It will last longer.




Uhura hoped that if she stayed perfectly still, the thing on the nurse's head would not attack.





RYAN SEACREST: Who will be the next, AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!




UHURA: Yeah, there's some sad sack loser following me around. I think he wants a date or something. As if!!!!!!

He's right behind me, isn't he?

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for the win A.V.I.A.F..

Uhura: I'd give it about ten minutes if I were you.

Chekov: Vhy can't I have a cool S&M harness like Uhura?

 

[T'Girl]

Chekov: Vhy can't I have a cool S&M harness like Uhura?

Uhura: "You have to ask for one like I did, Jerkov."
Chekov: "That's Chekov.




Kirk: "Mister President, may I introduce you to the leader of Ligon Two?"
Lincoln: "What a delightful planet of charming negresses."
Sulu (os): "Captain, they're locking phasers."



Uhura: "... okay guys, but we'll have to finish before the turbolift reaches the bridge."



Nurse: "Okay Lt. Uhura, what color is my uniform?"
Uhura: "Bluey."
Nurse: "And, what color is your gown?"
Uhura: "Bluey."
Nurse: "And, what color are the sickbay walls?"
Uhura: "Bluey."
Nurse: "Captain, Doctor, she coming along just fine."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Uhura (singing): The moooooooooon's a window to heaven...

Security guy: Is it too late to request a transfer?

 

[Mysterion]

Nchelle Nichols: See, MLK and Lincoln both want me to be on this show! It's for the good of mankind, I tell you!

 

[Isis]

A.V.I.A.F., thanks for the win.

Chekov: Vhy can't I have a cool S&M harness like Uhura?

Uhura: "Because the harness doesn't fit over the male uniform shirt, Captain Kirk thinks he rocks the harness-sans-shirt look, and he doesn't want anyone else upstaging him."

Chekov: "Vell, I haven't been vorking out lately anyvay."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!



Lincoln: "A remarkable ship, Captain! By God, I could have whipped some Rebel ass with this baby!"




Uhura: "Didn't your momma teach you it's not polite to point?"




Uhura: "Dammit, Riley, I'm on landing party duty! I'll sing you a damn song some other time! Uhura out!"

 

[jep]

Uhura: "Can't talk right now Janice, I'm gonna have a roll in the hay with Gilbert."

Rand (OS): "Uhura!!! What about your reputation!?!?"

Uhura: "Don't worry child... he's a red shirt on an away mission.... it's not like he's gonna live long enough to tell anyone about it."

.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Lincoln: Your captain was just telling me about your adventure with Kodos the Executioner, the politician turned actor...I have had experience in that department, myself. Ended the last performance I attended with a bang.

Nurse: Don't worry dear. I'm told it's perfectly normal for Vulcans.
Uhura: There were..two...

Uhura: If either of you refer to me as a charming negress I will deny you progeny. All it takes is a grip and a twist of the wrist.
N.D's: Yes ma'am.

 

[boco]

Uhura: Sorry, guys,you don't stand a chance, even together, I prefer it bifurcated..

Uhura: Sorry, sir, but the plomeek soup delivery shuttle has arrived, they request permission to dock..

 

[Mistral]

Uhura: "I can't believe they sent me down here alone. What a crock of-"

Redshirt: "Um, I'm right here."

Uhura: "Seriously, all they sent with me was a security guard and you know how long those last..."

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Mr. President, tonight is 'Classical Theater Night', and we would be honored if you would join us for the play."

Lincoln: "I need to see a play like I need another hole in my head."

<Awkward silence>



.

 

[Isis]

Uhura: "Someone named Stonn is holding for you. He doesn't sound too happy."





During an especially slow week, sometimes the Enterprise crew would play "Mother May I."





Uhura: "Scotty, can you quick beam me out of here? This match.com thing turned out to be a very bad mistake."

 

[milo bloom]

Chekov: Vhy can't I have a cool S&M harness like Uhura?

Uhura: "You have to ask for one like I did, Jerkov."
Chekov: "That's Chekov.

Uhura: "I know what I said."

 

[milo bloom]

Uhura: "Mr. Spock, we've been for hours and we haven't gotten anything accomplished, can we please get some lunch?"

Spock: "Negative. There is a dead pixel on the viewscreen, and nobody is leaving until we pin it down and fix it."

 

[boco]

Nurse: So.. who's the father? Kirk,Spock or Scotty?
Uhura: I...really don't know...

 

[Mistral]

Chekov: Vhy can't I have a cool S&M harness like Uhura?

Uhura: "You have to ask for one like I did, Jerkov."
Chekov: "That's Chekov.

Uhura: "I know what I said."

(pause) Chekov: ""Are ve supposed to put our fingers up our butt? Or are you just enjoying the moment?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Uhura: "Bluey...bluey?"
Nurse: "Oh, I think you've had quite enough of the blue pills already."
Uhura: "Bluuuuuuuey!"

 

[Gary7]

Chekov: Vhy can't I have a cool S&M harness like Uhura?

Uhura: "You have to ask for one like I did, Jerkov."
Chekov: "That's Chekov.

Uhura: "I know what I said."

(pause) Chekov: ""Are ve supposed to put our fingers up our butt? Or are you just enjoying the moment?"

Uhura: "Very funny. You do realize I've got heels on, right? I can plant that spike right where the sun don't shine, Mister."