TOS Caption Contest #236: The Expendables!
- Thread starter A.V.I.A.F.
- Start date
Redshirt: "Double-pane insulated glass notwithstanding, my butt's cold!"
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Rayburn: You think it's a bad sign that the ship doesn't respond when we call?
They're trying to mind meld, but they forgot about one problem. Neither of them has a mind.
Scotty: As you can see, Doctor Daystrom, my Engineering is completely safe- ah crap.
Daystrom: "Do you always let your ship's high jump team practice here, Captain?"
Kirk: "No, but I thought using a disintegration beam in place of the high bar would be a good motivator to get them to jump HIGH."
Spock: "Unfortunately, the high jump team is composed almost entirely of Red Shirts, and, well, you know how that goes."
.
Scotty: How's it going, Mister Harper?
Harper: Almost done.
Daystrom: Harper--Yes. The name of one of my colleagues. He laughed behind my back at the boy wonder and became famous building on my work. Building on my work!
Kirk: Uh-oh.
RAYBURN: Did you see that it just moved!
Other security guard: It's your imagination.
The tango contest on board the enterprise was now in session.
SCOTTY: Carefull laddie. That anal probe will go in slow if you don't resist.
KIRK: "DAMNIT. Did the third-shift cleaning crew leave that giant-ass sponge in here again?"
Scott: "It's not just an ass sponge, it's an all over body sponge, as Lieutenant Ennis is about to demonstrate."
Oh kissth me you sexy beastht!
Scotty: Should we yell?
Kirk: Nah he's a red shirt, he has to die before commercial break.
<Spock and Daystrom together> Bummer....Duuuude.
With apologies to T'Girl for stealing her line:
Kirk: "Er...wrong pole, Mr. Scott."
Scotty: "Ah, yer an eager one, aren't ye, laddie! I would'a thought a moment or two after she comes out!"
Daystrom: "Isn't the pole supposed to be vertical before the dancer comes out?"
Kirk: "Er...wrong pole, Mr. Scott."
Scotty: Aye Captain, here's why the heating bill is through the roof. I'll turn this thermostat down a touch.
A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Matthews: My ass looks so fat in these pants!
Rayburn: Stop distracting me! I'm perfecting my "action figure" pose!
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A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Kryton: Is there a soul in there?
A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Scotty: Watch out, laddie! You're about to get fried!
Harper: Ah shut your haggis-hole you overpaid lush, can't you see I'm busy here!
Scotty: And a bonnie voyage to you too!