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TOS Caption Contest #234: Vive DeSalle!



Uhura: Pavel, everyone gets initiated. Consider yourself lucky; you should've seen what they did to me!

Chekov: I can take it. After all, the vedgie is a Russian invention.

DeSalle: Ready?
 


Bones: Desalle, didn't I tell you to lay off the brylcreem today? Now our sensors are useless!



Takei: Now its fixing his garden!!! That jackass Shatner gets whatever he wants from those producers.



Chekhov: Desalle, go take a cold shower or something... Sulu'll be back soon, I promise.
 
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Chekov: "Meester DeSalle, I am going to have to ask you to keep your.... oh my..... uh... I am going to have to ask you to... Uh... to ask you to...."

Uhura: "Go ahead Chekov... taste the Czar's Forbidden Vodka."


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DESALLE (singing): I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more
No, I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more
Well, I wake in the morning
Fold my hands and pray for rain
I got a head full of ideas
That are drivin’ me insane
It’s a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor
I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more

I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s brother no more
No, I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s brother no more
Well, he hands you a nickel
He hands you a dime
He asks you with a grin
If you’re havin’ a good time
Then he fines you every time you slam the door
I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s brother no more

I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s pa no more
No, I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s pa no more
Well, he puts his cigar
Out in your face just for kicks
His bedroom window
It is made out of bricks
The National Guard stands around his door
Ah, I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s pa no more

I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s ma no more
No, I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s ma no more
Well, she talks to all the servants
About man and God and law
Everybody says
She’s the brains behind pa
She’s sixty-eight, but she says she’s twenty-four
I ain’t gonna work for Maggie’s ma no more

I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more
No, I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more
Well, I try my best
To be just like I am
But everybody wants you
To be just like them
They sing while you slave and I just get bored
I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more

SULU: You know,Sandoval hates that song.
 
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DeSalle: "Spores my ass!!! Sulu!!! This is Acapulco Gold!"

Sulu: "Quiet!!! If the Cap'n hears you he'll Bogart it all for himself!"


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Kelley: How come Nimoy and Shatner's stunt men are doing this explosion bit but mine isn't?


cap023.png

Barrier: George, what the hell are you doing?

Takei: I'm burying Nimoy's bike. Then I'm going to tell him that buffoon Shatner did it.



DeSalle: Hey, sexy. Want to come to my quarters later and play "hide the photon torpedo"?

Chekov: Vat da hell? Vhy is everyvne hitting on me today?

Uhura: Its that Liza Minnelli wig of yours. I warned you not to wear it. But would you listen to me? Noooooooo!



Chekov: Grab ass vas inwented by a little old man from Leningrad.
 


Jaeger: "Well...I'm not too politically-correct to admit it: When we punched up the holo-sim for 'Jungle Fever,' this wasn't at all what I was expecting!"




Barrier: "Tell him, Nichelle. The kid deserves to know the truth."
Nichols: "Oh, alright. Walter, that wig you're wearing? It's the one they screwed up before getting the one I'm wearing now right."




Barrier: "I'm trying to make a really good impression on this episode. I heard through the grapevine there may be a permanent cast member slot opening up soon. Apparently, one of the regulars is taking off to film some John Wayne movie, and I hear Roddenberry's really pissed about it and not sure he even wants 'em back!"
 
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DESALLE: I can see you put a lot of thought and effort into this, Sulu. But I gotta point something out...
 


McCoy: "Look, there's a huge castle."
Jaeger: "Look, it's guarded by a dragoon."
DeSalle: Look, there a sale at Penneys."

:)
 
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MCCOY: Hammond seemed pretty serious about sticking to authorized areas...

DESALLE: Relax and live a little. What's the worst that could happen?

JAEGER: You guys hear something?
 
Sulu: "It just isn't like they showed it in the commercials...space, the final frontier, my a**."
 


Announcer (OS): "We've secretly replaced Ensign Chekov's wig with a genuine Davy Jones Hair (R) wig from the Franklin Mint...let's see if he can tell the difference."
 


Sulu: "Well, you'd better get used to it, DeSalle, because the captain's got a private garden planted on every class M planet in our whole patrol sector! Oh, and don't forget to pick those chili peppers for Captain Dominguez!"
 
Isis said:


Announcer (OS): "We've secretly replaced Ensign Chekov's wig with a genuine Davy Jones Hair (R) wig from the Franklin Mint...let's see if he can tell the difference."
Click to expand...

DeSalle: "Chekov... your hair is misshapen.... made of pewter... and lined with gold. What happened last night?"
 
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DaSalle: "You know what yellow and red make, mister?"
Chekov: "Yis sir. Zay make orange."
DaSalle: "Then dont scream, as this wont hurt a bit."
 
Chekov_endowed.jpg


Chekov: "It's von ting to make me vear dis effeminate vig, but da brassiere? Dis is too much."
 
platoono.jpg


Taylor: "Die you motherfuckers! Die!"

McCoy: "Oh great... like I needed this shit today."

Barnes: "What the hell's the matter with you, McCoy? You are one simple son of a bitch!"


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