TOS Caption Contest #228: Them Bones!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

A lot of great entries this past week, here are:

The preferred head posture on several planets...

Spock: "Among my people, it's called the Koochie-Koochie-Kally-Fee."
Droxine: "What is that?"
Spock: "The head's down, eyes up."

I gotta try that too...

Mears: "I do it this way because it's gross to yank underwear from your crack with your hands."

Boma: "I gotta try that!"

Fine Corinthian plot holes...

Chekov: Botany Bay? Botany Bay?! Oh, no!
Khan, OS: Ehm....have we met before?

And for best PhotoShop entry: are we there yet...

MEARS: You gotta change lanes...that's our exit coming up

SPOCK: I know....

SCOTTY: Is your signal on, laddie? Have to let 'em know you're coming.

SPOCK: It's on!

MCCOY: Should have left earlier. We're gonna hit rush hour traffic.

SPOCK: There's plenty of time!!!

BOMA: That was the exit back there

MEARS: You should have gotten over.

SPOCK: Aaaaaauuugghhh!!!!!!

Congratulations to all the winners! This week: McCoy flirts with the cleaning lady, there’s tension on the bridge, and Bones pleads the fifth. Kick it!

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: "Do you know the location of Ambassador Spock?"
Kirk: "I'm unfamiliar with Ambassador Spock."
McCoy: "What is the current stardate? "
Kirk: "Stardate? Twenty-two thirty-three zero four. Where are you from?"

McCoy pulls put a large spear ...

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "That's all I need, nurse. You can go back to cleaning the windows now."

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "Fascinating..."

Spock had been practicing for weeks and his efforts finally paid off. Using a hands-free mind meld, he got Kirk and McCoy locked in a never ending stare down contest.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "My dear, did you know that what your body is doing to that uniform tunic would get you a morals charge on at least seven different planets?"
Nurse: "They warned me about you at Starfleet Personnel."
McCoy: "Are you sure it wasn't the captain they warned you about?"
Nurse: "It was both! And your chief engineer, too!"

McCoy: "Well, whereas it is true that Captain Kirk is aging rapidly, it is not true that that automatically means his abilities are diminished. And whereas it is true that he gave an erroneous command to Mr. Sulu..."
Shaw: "Oh, come on, Doctor! Get to the point! While some of us are still young!"
McCoy: "Oh, now that was just tacky!"

 

[Gary7]

Shaw: "Can you tell us about it, in your own words?"
McCoy: "Hold on, let me think.... I need just a moment to collect my thoughts, I promise."
(McCoy closes his eyes and thinks...)
(time passes)
Shaw: "Dr. McCoy?"
McCoy: "... Yes?"
Shaw: "You were saying?"
McCoy: "What? Oh... I'll have a martini straight up with a twist, very dry."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

It took him a while, but McCoy finally realized that Scotty and Chekov had switched his med supplies for salt and ketchup from the ship's mess.

"Huh. That explains the mysterious rise in salt poisoning".

OR:

"Litre of blood, salt shaker...yep, I think we're ready to bring our latest redshirts back from beyond. Oh, one thing, nurse: skulls. We need skulls".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Spock: "On three, gentlemen, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' will commence. I remind you that neither myself nor 'lizard' is acceptable".

 

[Maurice]

NURSE: My eyes are up HERE, Doctor!

KIRK: Bones, get out of my Kirk light.

BONES: I'm just a simple country doctor.
SHAW: With degrees in exobiology, exopharmacology, surgery and plastic surgery.
BONES: See? Simple!

 

[Nerys Myk]

NURSE: It appears to be alcohol, Doctor. Not sure how it got in there.

MCCOY: I do.

I'll be in my office.

 

[Mojochi]

Bones: I'm not exactly sure where you expect me to stick that nozzle, during your physical, lieutenant

Bones: What sexual tension?

Just a high buff today, honey, and go heavy on the cuticles. I did a proctological exam earlier

 

[Vassa]

McCoy: Ok fine Ensign, I'll talk to the Chief Engineer about programming the computer to transport all the dirt off the ship but I really don't think it would be all that safe to empty crew members' bladders and bowels in that fashion.

Kirk: Bones, Spock is down in Engineering. Been down there for at least an hour. He said something about a mannequin and wondering if you would figure it out. How long have you been arguing with it?

....And that's why I punched him your honor.

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "You mean I have to wash my hands between patients?"

The Star Trek exhibit at Madame Tussaud's was not well received.

 

[Isis]

Spock: "On three, gentlemen, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' will commence. I remind you that neither myself nor 'lizard' is acceptable".

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Why did you bring me a Spray Bottle? When I said; "Lets clean him up" I didn't mean with 409.

Kirk: Bones, Spock, we're in a dangerous situation. I need your advice.

McCoy: Emotionalism!

Spock: Logic!

Kirk: It's like you guys just don't try anymore.

McCoy: ...So at this point, I had run off, but the hobo had my phaser and vaporized himself with it...

Areel: And you're claiming Self-Defense?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: I thought the skirts were shorter.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman; Mrs. Crater."

Kirk (off screen): "Of course you did, but she was a man at the time."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: So I said to Jim, what's with you and skanky blondes?

SHAW: Perhaps, you'd like to rephrase?

MCCOY: Why?

 

[Drob]

Bones: Spray-on strawberry astroglide, check... Half saltshaker of coke, check... Sexy nurse, check...

Bones: What is it this time? I was in the middle of surgery!

Kirk: Bit of a headache, oh and Spock has gas.

Shaw: Place your right hand on the light and your left hand... here.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk's awesomeness was often blinding if looked at directly.