Expo67
Captain
"Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins..."
TOS Caption Contest #225: A Healthy Dose of Crazy
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Lenore: "LOL, you actually thought showing me the arboretum would get you in? A bunch of trees? I wanna see the torpedo launchers or you can go five-finger shuffle tonight."
Kirk: "Come on, you know you want to! And besides, it'll serve your old man right for spending his nights out stalking when he should be staying home with you!"
God, I'm geek enough to get it.
Sir Rhosis
LENORE: Wait...
this isn't the fourth floor women's clothing section! LIAR!!
SPOCK: CAMELOT!!!
CHAPEL: It's only a model...
DEELA: Is this what you Earthmen call "getting to third base"?
KIRK: If you play your cards right...and take off that outift.
Gameshow night on the Bridge, 8 pm:
"And behind Turbolift Door Number One, we have...the lovely Lenore!"
"Is the guy like a bonus or something?"
"What? Dammit, Ensign, stand off to the right!"
Gameshow night on the bridge 11pm:
Spock: "Aaaaand...on the conveyor belt tonight we have the following prizes: A Deltan necklace, perfumes from Trill, a gold-plated 'fresher seat, Khan's spare medallion, self-sealing stem bolts, Beauregard the flower, a cuddly toy, a bottle of "Wee Bairns", Ruk's left arm, the captain's toupee...
Gameshow night on the bridge, 3am
Kirk (muttering): "Shoulda picked Lenore, shoulda picked Lenore. Ah, damn. After getting through Scotty's "Stuff the Haggis" round too..".
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LENORE: (looking at Bridge) I expected it to be bigger.
CREWMAN: Story of my life...
SPOCK: Look how taaaaall he is!
GREEN GIANT (OFF CAMERA): HO! HO! HO! IS THAT LITTLE GREEN SPROUT I SEE, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?
DEELA: You Earthmen move fast.
KIRK: Well, duh.
Spock: Duuuuuuuude! Carl was right! The bridge does make a good hotbox.
Spock: So this is what humans call a BJ. Fasinating!
[muffled female voice tries to speak]
Spock: Don't try to speak Miss Uhura. Just keep doing what you're doing.
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Lenore: "Does this fur make me look fat?"
Crewman: "Honestly? I think the eclairs make you look fat."
No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Several muppets died horribly, however.
Kirk: I can't seem to dislodge myself from your...er...outfit.
Deela: My belt is made of Venus flytraps.
Spock: I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Kirk, offscreen: THAT'S MY BIT ASSHAT!
Lenore: Wow! I didn't expect the bridge to look like it's made of cheap plywood.
Crewman: "Did your dress, just... purr?"
Lenore: "Of course she did. Muffin likes the way I sashay, don't you my little Muffy Wuffy?"
Crewman: "Huh?"
Lenore: "What do you think this is, the 21st Century? We don't kill our animals for fur. That would be cruel. We genetically engineer them into living clothing. You should meet Dwayne, my thong."
seductive growl issues from below...
Spock: Ah, the scent of a half-opened tin of tuna ... Miss Chapel must be on the bridge.
I did it, Jim!!!
I found New Wonka Colony's last golden ticket!!!