TOS Caption Contest #225: A Healthy Dose of Crazy

[T'Girl]

Kirk (OS): "How many lights do you see Spock?

Spock: "Four, I see four lights."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Deela: "Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
Kirk "Its a phaser , I'm in love with my ship"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: (thinking) Excellent work Sulu, one more "hard a'port" And she'll be in my bed.

 

[T'Girl]

Crewman: "I couldn't help noticing my dear, but you only have the one leg ..."

Lenore: "Why I sure I don't know to what you refer."

As she hops onto the bridge.

 

[Vassa]

Deela: Oh Jim, I don't know...
Kirk: No go ahead, give it a tug.
Deela: Are you sure?
Kirk: Go ahead! Just a little tug and the whole shirt comes right off. I have them made special.

 

[Maurice]

LENORE: Astroturf in the turbolift?
CREWMAN: Rigellian Beaver pelt dress?
LENORE: Touché.

CHAPEL: Is Mr. Spock on drugs?
SPOCK: Yeah.... Scotty sold them to me.

DEELA: This "Dutch Angle" is an interesting sexual position.
KIRK: It's a camera tilt, you dumb broad. The sexual position comes next.

 

[Isis]

Karidian: "Oh, this schmata? It's just a little something I picked up at Kohl's."

 

[Isis]

Karidian (to self): "Actually this dress does exactly what I want it to. It attracts so much attention that people don't notice that I have the boobs of a 12-year-old boy."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Crewman: Wow! Till now, I'd never made it with a woman.

Lenore: You're very sweet!

Kirk (V.O.): Captain's log, supplemental. There was no choice. To win Deela's trust, I had to put out. I just hope that Doctor McCoy can cure the ugly variety of diseases I've now caught.

 

[Isis]

Kirk (to self): "She seems ready, but these stupid boots are such a pain. Take 'em off and relacing 'em afterwards looks really dorky. Keep 'em on and that might ruin the mood. Well, that's a no brainer. Besides, 5 minutes afterwards, who'll remember anyway?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "In the spirit of our new hyper-accelerated state, how about a quickie?"

 

[cooleddie74]

TROJAN Dilithium-Strength

For those special moments when you're about to tag a chick with a hundred tentacles.(TM)

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK: Fascinating!

On this weed, I actually *CAN* believe it is not butter...

 

[Ssosmcin]

Ensign Ricky: "Here's the wench you asked for, Cap'n."
Kirk: "I said 'winch', but I'll let it go this time."

Spock: "Ahhh-ahhhh, bitter dregs."
Dr. Muhall reacts behind him.

Kirk: "I...was in the pool!"

 

[highlander]

It was safe to say that Spock loved the smell of his own farts.

 

[highlander]

Deela: "So you're OK with the fact that I used to be a dude?"
Kirk: "Sure baby Dr. McCoy doses great work, he removed my third and fourth nipples."

 

[highlander]

Crewman: "Nice dress, I'm a huge fan of beaver."
Lenore: "Funny...Mr Sulu said the same thing."
Crewman: "He's lying."

 

[Sir Rhosis]

Kirk: "Come on, you know you want to! And besides, it'll serve your old man right for spending his nights out stalking when he should be staying home with you!"

God, I'm geek enough to get it.

Sir Rhosis

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Lenore: "Why Captain, you don't fill out your uniform as much as I thought."
Crewman: "<snigger> Yeah."

 

[ItsGreen]

Fascinating!
My Vulcan nose is picking up the scent of either
sehlat or possibly beaver!