TOS Caption Contest #222: Cream of the Crop
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Kirk: "Actually, would it not be you who would be in my debt, Mr. Ambassador?
Sarek: Ah, Captain Kirk. She who is my wife seems to have misunderstood your latest fashion of a beehive hairdo. My apologies. If you could compliment her appearance anyway, you would be in my debt.
Sarek: "Flawlessly logical Captain."
Bones: Damn it, man! Look at her! She's still fresh road kill!!
Kirk (flustered): Too soon for rebound sex, then?
Spock: Dude! She bounced like THREE freakin' times! Wish I had my tricorder that woulda been some gnarly youtubin', man!
A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Kirk: "The second rule of fight club..--." Is this yours?
Chekov: Huh?
Kirk: Pretend you're me. Make a managerial decision. You find this. What would you do?
Chekov: Well, I got to tell ya kepten...I'd be wery, wery careful who I talked to about dis. Because the person who wrote dat...is dangerous...
A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Spock: Gentlemen, I believe there has been a time shift and we have inadvertently beamed down to the set of the latest taping of Helmut Schmidt’s “Gangbang DEEPression.” The ship’s computers confirm that Herr Schmidt was widely regarded as a pioneer in a new genre of late 21st century “history-based gangbang porno.”
McCoy: I wanna get me some of that!
Kirk: Bones, no! Not so soon after that last outbreak of Rigelian herpes!
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A.V.I.A.F.
Captain
Sarek: The fuck you lookin' at playa?
Kirk: A recycled cast member, biotch!
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Kirk: No Bones! We have to get Back to the Future!
McCoy: Great Scott!
Spock: Whoa, that's heavy.
Sarek: Captain Kirk, you honor us with allowing us passage to Babel.
Kirk: Welcome to the Enterprise Ambassador, where every Wednesday night is Ladies Night.
Sarek: Hot Diggity Damn!
Spock: Uh-oh.
Chekov: Keptin, I have never been to Regula One, why are emails coming to me from a Carol Marcus there?
Kirk: Thanks for letting me use your name on the last Shore Leave.
SAREK: That's guest-star, you stupid-ass mofo.
Sarek: The fuck you lookin' at playa?
Kirk: A recycled cast member, biotch!
Sarek: "Welcome to Vul-Mart"
Spock: "Sorry Captain my Father's career has taken a bit of a backslide."
Chekov: This is not my...literature, I assure you Captain! I prefer..ehm, more substantial women!
Kirk, muffled: Dammit, Bones -- I NEED you!
McCoy: ..well, all right. I guess Edith and I weren't meant to be, after all.
Spock: *is rejected*
Sarek: I claim this ship in the name of the Vulcan Imperium. Resistance is not logical.
Spock: Resistance is current divided by -
Sarek, to Kirk: You see why we're no longer on speaking terms. He ruins all of my attempts at jocularity.
Sarek: "Thank you for inquiring whether we're hungry, Captain, but my wife would like to go immediately to our quarters. There was no place to change after the royal wedding, and after two days, my wife feels like her formal British attire is suffocating her, especially the hat."
Sarak: "I must say I doubt Starfleet's level of competence if they can't even spell 'Hangar Deck' correctly."
Wow! After all the dozens of times I've watched that episode, I never noticed that!
Maybe they called it the "Hanger Deck" because normally that's where they hung the coats of visiting diplomats.
Kirk: "Welcome, Ambassador Sarek. We're so glad to see you again."
Sarek: "Well, I hope it's not a repeat of last time."
Kirk: "Last time? I'm sorry, but I don't remember."
Sarek: "The diplomatic plates on my shuttle were fully visible, and all my registration fees were up to date. But your traffic officers towed me any way."
Spock: Logic dictates, after observing your interactions with human females, that the best course of action would be for you to stick with the Alien Babe Of The Week.
SAREK: I am most impressed by the digital remastering of your vessel, Captain.
I can no longer see the strings.