TOS Caption Contest #219: Staring Contest

[S'kai]

Although he did an impeccable job, the engraving of child-sized coffin lids easily left Spock exhausted.

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: I think I can make out a tit!

Kirk: Where?

Sulu: Oh, for fucks sake. Can't we just pay the extra five bucks a month to unscramble the porn channel? Also you two are sure it actually is the porn channel this time and not HBO showing "Follow that Bird" again right?

 

[Chaja-girl]

Spock: Damn Gulliver's playing darts again >.<

 

[PikeFan]

KIRK: WTF! Spock's making out with Uhura! AND she reveals her name is Nyota!

UHURA: That's an alternate universe. Ain't no way I'd get between you and Spock!

MCCOY: Holy shit! I have black hair!

SCOTTY: Who's the British guy?

MCCOY: I think it's you.

SULU: I'm Korean! WTF!

Pike rolls in beeping yes and thinking I'm not a carrot anymore! How do I get there!

*TOS views Nu!Trek*

Spock: Time to cut a bitch!

KIRK: Any idea when the circus is coming back Spock?

MCCOY: You'd sell your own children?

SPOCK thinking when did I get pregnant?

Captain thinking: Goddamn my ass itches! *uses the rail to scratch it*

 

[PikeFan]

I think I had a few slash moments up there.... K/S all the way!

 

[Rat Boy]

Been a busy weekend, so rather than do a half-assed job getting the next contest in order, let's let it play out another week...

Kirk: "Oh God. Komack's not wearing pants again."

T'Pau (off camera): "WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME!"

Kirk: "They seem to be taking the deaths of their parents well."

Spock: "That's because they're all stinking rich now."

Mason (thinking): Yeah, that's it. Work the lateral sensor array.

 

[jep]

Spock: "I'm just sayin' Cap'n, this planet's dirt. They were living in dirt. They were playing in dirt. So why the fuck are their boots shinier than ours?"

Kirk: "Let it go Spock."

Spock: "I suppose some sort of a friendly angel came and kept their boots clean???"

Kirk: "Let it GO Spock!"


.

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?

 

[jep]

Spock: "This will not be over quickly, and you will not enjoy it."



.

 

[M'Sharak]

Brent: I'm here! What did I miss?
Sulu: All of it. Dude, you missed the whole thing.
Kirk: But n—
Sulu: (sotto voce) I'm just messing with him, sir.
Kirk: (sotto voce) Ah. Guess it's working - you ought to see Dr. McCoy's face right now.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Vulcan ears require Vulcan q-tips.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock: "I'm just sayin' Cap'n, this planet's dirt. They were living in dirt. They were playing in dirt. So why the fuck are their boots shinier than ours?"

Kirk: "Let it go Spock."

Spock: "I suppose some sort of a friendly angel came and kept their boots clean???"

Kirk: "Let it GO Spock!"


.

This is great.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

And, as always, in times of crisis and possible multiple casualties, Dr. McCoy could be found where he would be most needed. On the bridge.

 

[jep]

Spock: "You wanna be the man, you gotta beat the man."


.

 

[ItsGreen]

The madness was so deeply rooted in Spock that he failed to see the logic
in turning around the Lirpa as an advantage for rowing in the
Vulcan white water rafting challange!

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Duuuuuude, Cloud William is going to be PISSED when he finds out you stole his spear."




.

 

[Isis]

Few were aware that one of Spock's summer jobs during his college years was as a guard in an abacus showroom.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "You shouldna' brought a lirpa to a phaser fight, boy-o."



.

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock, groggily : It's time to make the mutha fuckin' donuts.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Kirk: Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We've all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Balok. I mean, down here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing - they're *flashing* and they're *beeping*. I can't stand it anymore! They're *blinking* and *beeping* and *flashing*! Why doesn't somebody pull the plug!