TOS Caption Contest #218: Drunken Lullabies

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: I've slipped you a Mickey ... and now you're gonna get my Mickey in yah.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Tamar: "Wastin away again in margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
But I know it's nobodys fault..it's 40 below and I don't give a fuck
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo.. "

Scotty: "Are ye daft I wanna know if ye know Under the Scotsman's Kilt.Ring ding diddle diddle I de o
Ring di diddle I o
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth.."

 

[T'Girl]

Scott: "So, are you drunk enough for me to shove this long neck bottle up your arse."
Kelvin: "You have this giant spider crawling across your ceiling."
Scott: "I'll take that for a yes."

***Swish***

Kirk (simultaneously): "You!!!"

 

[Ssosmcin]

Awesome, another win! Thank you!

Tamar didn't understand why his drink tasted like almonds until he saw Rojan hanging from the rafters...

Whenever Kirk moves his head, Spock keeps stepping in his line of sight.

Spock: Crewmen? What crewmen?

Kirk: Of course, when I want Sulu to be running around like a lunatic with a sword, he's nowhere around.

 

[Tan Ru]

RedShirt speaking to other RedShirt: "Dude, seriously! This isn't the time! STOP yankin' on my shorts!"

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: And now, let me explain the concept of hangovers to you. No, wait. Looks like you're ahead of me there.

Kirk: Spock, do Vulcans have one leg longer than the other?

Spock: Only when they allow Doctor McCoy to repair their hamstring injuries.

 

[Mistral]

Spock: "Captain, I'm pleased to report that we've dumped the warp core, de-activated the weapons and the men are working diligently to short-circuit life support!"

Kirk: "I said 'fix', Spock, 'fix'! Man, these Vulcan inner ear infections are real doozies!"

 

[ItsGreen]

Laddie, that is the Sword of Damocles you see hanging over your head!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Johnson: Ow!

Klingon #1: Pussy!

Kirk: Foiled again!

Klingon #2: Foil? This is a broadsword, human, a broadsword! Don't they teach you about blades in Starfleet? Why, if I had my Bat'leth, I'd -

Other Klingons: What's a Bat'leth?

 

[Mysterion]

SPOCK: Captain, you wanted to see...me? Um, really, I think this is something Dr. McCoy should probabably.....ummmm...wow. Uh....so. That's gotta hurt, umm....does that hurt?

 

[Bob Karo]

Scotty had built up a tolerance to many things over the years. Here, he uses his tolerance to both alcohol and iocaine power for the crew's advantage.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TAMAR: Why is there a cat looking down at us?

SCOTTY : Aye, now thats an interesting story....

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: (drunk) So... then.... it looked like I had killed 3 women on that planet.... and the Captain brings me back up here.... and turns out it's Jack The Ripper..... Don't give me that look, it's what really happened!

 

[MANT!]

Scotty "Begorra, my Self-Referencing Computerized Accu-Jack(TM) worked!! Now all I gots ta do is to patent the bloody thing...."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: So Carolyn left soon after that. Rumor was Apollo knocked her up. Then there Mira, she got taken over by a bunch of non-corporeal beings....

TAMAR: Dude, Your love life sucks.

 

[Isis]

Scotty: "Laddie, I understand why ye cannae look me in the eye. If me white coveralls had been laundered with all the redshirts' uniform tops, I'd be a wee bit bashful, too."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Some of you aliens really confound me. Here you are with a great ability like x-ray vision, and all you do with it is sit here on Deck Six tryin' to look up the skirts of women on Deck Five!"

 

[LeadHead]

Tomar: *GROAN* For the love of, you're the Britta Perry of the 23rd Century!

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "Pffffft. You're just jealous that there isn't an International Talk Like You Day."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Just wanted to let you know the engineering department fixed your do...oookay, I did not need to see that!