TOS Caption Contest #214: Well, Duh!

[Jonas Grumby]

Bele: "'Odd pigmentation'? This is make-up, you dunce! You interrupted us in the middle of our annual Yin-Yang Festival, you meddling cretin!"

 

[Ssosmcin]

The influence of Mudd's Women was so powerful, Scotty never realized Mudd was peeing on him.

Bele: "And if Lokai and I agree to make this 'swirl cone' you describe, then you will take us to Cheron?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: They are a fine bevy of beauties ... wouldn't yah agree, gents?
McCoy: Absolutely.
Spock: I prefer chocolate over vanilla, Mr. Scott.
Mudd: Oh, my!

Scotty: I've got meh a boner.
McCoy: Me too.
Spock: I have two.
Mudd: Oh, my!
Sulu (off-camera): Hey, that's my line, tubby!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; Wait, did he have the special?
McCoy; No, it's sticking in, not bursting out.

(I didn't have the energy to shop that )

 

[Hambone]

McCOY: These transporter special effects are the grooviest.

SPOCK: It's just aluminum dust...simple, but effective.

SCOTTY: Aye, and the sound effects add a wee bit 'o realism.

MUDD: I can see the prop guy up there.

 

[Captain Crow]

Redshirt Ron: Where the hell did the kid with the squeaky hammer come from?

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk:"But your hair...what's the relevance of the brown?"

Bele: "None. Now, as I was saying. I am black on--"

Kirk: "But the brown, what's the symbolism there?"

Bele (angry): "Forget the brown! Focus on the black and white!!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk:"The black on the right side, you're... Lokai? I don't know, you people all look alike."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "So the black and white thing... That all over?"
Bele: "Yes."
Kirk: "So how's that work in the trouser department, one side longer than the other, that cause a bend or something?"
Bele: "Not that it's appropriate, but our species is bifurcated."
Spock os: "Logical."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I dont really get Modern Dance. Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?

 

[T'Girl]

KIRK: And the glitter fring on your shirt, just what does that indicate?

Lokai: "Just what you'd think it does."

Bele: "Wait one minute."

Sulu (os): "Don't worry sweetie, I think it looks fabulous."

 

[Isis]

When Harry Mudd tried out for "Galaxy Idol," Scotty was the only judge he won over. Mr. Spock was more unmoved than usual, and Dr. McCoy had trouble containing his laughter.

 

[Isis]

Mudd: "This shirt? Thanks for asking. It's just a schmata I picked up on sale at Kohl's the other day."

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Just ignore him and smile.

Mudd: Well I never!

Spock: Not you, the Captains Toupee is even less credible today.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Man (OS): Bring out yer dead! Bring out yer dead!

Redshirt: I'm not dead yet! I'm feeling much better!!

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: I see you dress to the left.

McCoy: Hey Ron, If you stop acting like a little bitch I'll give you this roll of SweetTarts.