TOS Caption Contest #207: Consultations and Resolutions

[LeadHead]

Kirk: For the last time, I don't need glasses Spock.

 

[ItsGreen]

Sheet..why do they keep calling me Latimer?
I'm Lieutentant Evans from "Elaan of Troyius" dammit!


(thanks to Gary7 for the episode ID)

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kirk: "Bones, I fantasized about a woman over 50 last night. You've got to help me!"

HEY!!!!!!!! I resemble that remark!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Tuvok: "Well, at least this holodeck program isn't as annoying as Captain Proton."

Kirk: "Oh for...look, let's switch. I'll lead; clearly you have two left feet."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Bones, I fantasized about a woman over 50 last night. You've got to help me!"

McCoy: "Fifty? That's nothin'! Did I ever tell you how old this chick named Dax I dated at Ole Miss was?"

 

[Mistral]

Lt. White wondered where the third seashell had gotten to.

 

[Gary7]

A seldom acknowledged side effect of working on impulse engines in main engineering: really big hands.

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Don't feel bad, Bones. Unless you're me, nobody gets the woman every time."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk: "Don't feel bad, Bones. Unless you're me, nobody gets the woman every time."

McCoy: "You smug bastard,if its the last thing I do, I'm gonna create an alternate reality where Spock gets the girl."

KIRK (laughing): Spock, over me? Good luck with that!!!!!

 

[Isis]

Scott: "Nae, Spock, I won't tell you how 'Lost' ended. It's too bad you were on duty during the finale, but you should have recorded it."

Kirk: "You think this woman you met is 'the one'? Use this shoulder grip and you can't go wrong."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Look, you should have hooked the damn thing up before you invited us over for a Super Bowl Party!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "Mr. Scott, would you quit humming 'Sit on my face'.."

Kirk: "Trust me Bones she won't feel a thing"
McCoy: " I know, remember I've gave you a physical last week"

Lieutenant: "Aww F*ck I lost the coin toss , and have to wear this shirt, now I really don't like my odds."

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Damn, I didn't sign up for all these racist captions."

 

[Captain Crow]

Lieutenant: They call me Mister Tibbs!

 

[Nerys Myk]

LT. EVANS: Passed out naked and drunk again. Remind me again why he's the Chief Engineer.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Alright, dammit, alright! I'll admit that 'looking over my shoulder' is factually inaccurate! Maybe I should have said, 'watching me work'! But however ye want to say it, stop doing it!"

 

[Gary7]

^

 

[Nerys Myk]

LT. EVANS: Oops, sorry fellas. I'll just go back the way I came.

SCOTTY: Dammit, Evans. Its not what you think!!!

LT. EVANS: Its cool man. 23rd Century, we've evolved and all.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

LT. 'Dolemite' EVANS: That rat-soup-eatin', insecure honky motherfucker!

 

[T'Girl]

Kirk, over intercom: Have you guys found anything down there?

Tuvok: WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!

*** squish ***

Tuvok: "Correction Captain, we just found shit."