Announcer: "Next week on Kung Fu, Kwai Chang Caine must confront a deadly Ninja hired to kill him..."
TOS Caption Contest #191: Taking Care of Business
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Announcer: "Next week on Kung Fu, Kwai Chang Caine must confront a deadly Ninja hired to kill him..."
O'Neil: Why did the Captain send us down here in these ridiculous costumes?
Sulu: It's a new experiment, seeing if Redshirts will survive if we dress them differently.
O'Neil is shot and killed.
Sulu: Sulu to Captain Kirk, same as the Clown Outfit. Maybe we should try the Chicken suit next.
Kirk: "Now you're talking, Bones. With porno on the viewscreen, I'll stay here as long as you want."
McCoy: "I knew that'd change your mind." (wink)
Spock: "Doctor, I wasn't aware of any regulation stating that the passing of digestive related gas from one's posterior orifice would subject that individual to house arrest."
Sulu: "Oh... my."
O'Neil: "You see? I told you, Mr. Sulu. Nobody else brought a live turkey to this Thanksgiving shindig AND we're the only ones in costume. Man, we look like a couple of real jerks."
O'Neil: Why did the Captain send us down here in these ridiculous costumes?
Sulu: It's a new experiment, seeing if Redshirts will survive if we dress them differently.
O'Neil is shot and killed.
Sulu: Sulu to Captain Kirk, same as the Clown Outfit. Maybe we should try the Chicken suit next.
MCCOY: According to reports, the planet below has exploding rocks, plants that shoot poisonous thorns and humanoid-seeking lightning. Shall we beam down, Spock?
SPOCK: Are you crazy? I'm not wasting valuable crewmembers or officers on this miserable planet. Let's send down a couple of those stupid redshirts instead.
(pause)
SPOCK: (whispering) They're right behind me, aren't they...
O'NEILL: "Shot Heard 'Round the World" my ASS!!!
RUN!!!
KIRK: Why didn't you TELL me the Gaydar Alert light was flashing?!
I've gotta go!!
SPOCK: Am I under arrest?
McCOY: No, you're being escorted to a birthday party where you're the damned guest of honor.
GET HIM THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!
McCOY: Where are you going, Jim? Lay back down!
The blinking Christmas lights on this board haven't stopped shifting back and forth! I'm not done yet!
SULU: Brown robes...long rods...and pale clammy skin!!!
O'NEILL: Yeah...it's the 1979 Saratoga Springs Trek Convention ALL over again! RUN!!!
McCoy: Damn it, I don't care that it's casual Friday! You know better then to come on the bridge like that you pointed-eared hobgoblin! It gives Sulu the vapors.
Sulu, offscreen: Oh my, the vapors.
[thud from Sulu hitting the floor]
McCoy: Jim, you need quit putting your pecker in that wet/dry vac of your's. I'm getting tired of having to reattach it.
Kirk: I can't help it. It's got the proper amount of suction