TOS Caption Contest #170: Scotch and a Vodka Chaser

[Nerys Myk]

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OBRIEN: And that lads, is why you never send a Scotsman to do an Irishman's job.

Who's up for another round?

 

[jep]

Scottie: "Laddie, don't you think... you should... rephrase that?

Sisko: "You're right, I should. I didn't mean to say Scotch tastes like horse piss, I meant to say Scotch IS horse piss."


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[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "No, I don't know vhy Imageshack deleted us."

 

[T'Boggan]

Scotty: "Aye laddie go ahead I deserve it, I put Dr Pepper in my Glen Livet"

The traditional 'Underpants full of Tribbles' contest was almost a dead heat till scotty showed signs of cracking!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"Show me on my ex-wife where you stabbed the Argelian whore."

Korax: "How long are those primitives going to do that?"
Barkeep: "Don't interfere. Breaking wind on shore leave is a Starfleet tradition. Just be glad that they didn't bring lighters."

Sulu: "I know what hairy palms are supposed to signify, but what the hell do hairy knuckles mean?"
Chekov: "I don't know, but I do know they vere inwented by a brother and sister who married each other in Leningrad."

 

[Rat Boy]

How Scotty got the early third season haircut.

Nomad (off screen): "I am here to study the normal behaviors of the units..."

*Chekov mockingly does The Robot*

Nomad (off screen): "I saw that!"

Scotty: "Laddie, you do realize coming on shore leave with me is about as safe as playing Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic."

 

[Mistral]

Chekov: "Please. You do not impress me Sulu. In Russia, ve have sexual predators with equipment thees big."

Spock, off screen: "Yes, ensign, but were they bifurcated?"

Sulu: "Oh my, I believe I'm catching a case of the vapors!"


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Cannot see image.

 

[Mistral]

Scotty: "It was just a crossed wire! Don' ye think hari-kari is a bit extreme, laddie?"

 

[M'Sharak]

Korax: And does this... what did you call it - haggis?
(Bartender nods)
Korax: Does it always smell like that? I may be forced to register a complaint.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Laddie, when the last time you sharpened or clean that thing? And is that the right type of knife for this kind of work?

Remember: The right tool for the right job. And alway take care of your equipment.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Worf: "I'll ask you one last time: Who the fuck threw that tribble at me?"

Chekov: "Giggle."


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[Tan Ru]

Worf: "Why are people SO small in the past? grumble.....grumble.....grumble..........."

Chekov: "I'm telling you, they were like watermelon-size and she had 'em right in my face like THIS! OOOIEEE!!.................y-you know what I'm talkin' about don'cha Sulu?"

 

[jep]

Worf: "Why are people SO small in the past? grumble.....grumble.....grumble..........."

Yeah, I know, I know. And that isn't the only thing I wasn't happy with. In the DS9 "remix" of
the Tribbles episode, Worf didn't wear a uniform, but I couldn't find a picture of him standing
AND in the "Trader Worf" costume he wore in that ep.


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[jep]

Sulu: "You're telling me Spock's is... bifurcated ?"

Chekov: "Bifurcated. I caught him showing it to Harry Mudd. One goes off this way, the other, it goes this way."

Sulu: "Oh MYYYYYYYYYY!"


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[Rat Boy]

Scotty (thinking): I should'na had that KFC Double Down.

 

[jep]

(Scotty is shown the method used for birth control on Argellius II.)

Scotty: "Cut off my what???? Laddie, if you even think about using that on
me Willy, I'll use it to gut you like a trout."

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[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Chekov: Vhat a beautiful voman, Hikaru. Vell, 'cept for the man hands.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHEKOV: I hear my nickname is "Monkee". Is it because I look like Davey Jones?

SULU: It's the hairy arms.

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "I've never seen a foot fungus as bad as yours. Since that last medication didn't work, I'm really at a loss. Wanna give this a try?"

 

[Rat Boy]

INVISIBLE MOTORBOATING.