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TOS Caption Contest #145: The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

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Nimoy: "Hey Bill, I've got a new gig after the show ends."

Shatner: "What narrating? Have fun with that."

Nimoy: "Oh, that's just to pay the bills."

Shatner: "Ok, so what then?"

Nimoy: "Nude photography."
 
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Spock: "The ball-gag suits you, Doctor, but the whip sticking out of your butt looks like it hurts."
 
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Spock: "Are you certain Mr Chekov?"

Chekov: "Yes Meester Spock. Dat is exactly how much ve vill save by sveeching our starship insurance to Geico."
 
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Kirk <over intercom>: Attention crew. I've been informed that there are alien beetles on board. Intruder alert.
Spock <in background>: Sir, the Beatles are a rock band.
Kirk: Attention crew. Belay that last announcement.
 
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Nimoy: "Hey Bill, I've got a new gig after the show ends."

Shatner: "What narrating? Have fun with that."

Nimoy: "Oh, that's just to pay the bills."

Shatner: "Ok, so what then?"

Nimoy: "Nude photography."

Nimoy's next series of nudes to be titled 'Jumping Jacks in Motion'
 
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Spock: "Miss Uhura, your talents go beyond communications. Pon farr, schmon farr, all I can say is every seven years really isn't enough."
 
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Spock: "Ensign, just don't take the white chocolate caramels--those are mine."
 
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Let that be a lesson to you Mr Scott. Never pass out before the Vulcan.

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Chekov: Quartermaster estimates we'll need to take on at least...let's see, three times thirty, carry the three...
Spock: Four hundred sixty-nine units of self-sealing stem bolts.
Chekov: Just a moment, Meester Spock. Times thirty-seven weeks...
Spock: Four hundred sixty-nine units of self-sealing stem bolts.
Chekov: Counting for waste, subtracting units in stores...
Spock: Four hundred sixty-nine units of self-sealing stem bolts.
Chekov: No, Meester Spock. That's four hundred sixty-nine units of -
Spock That's what I said. Four hundred sixty-nine units -
Chekov: No I don't think so.
Spock: <finger finds ejector button> - of self-sealing stem bolts.
Chekov: You know it's a Russian inwention.
Spock: <pushes button, a memory disk pops out> Damn.

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Kirk <over intercom>: Attention crew. I am the eggman. I am the walrus.
Spock <in background>: Goog goog g'joob.
Kirk: Attention crew. Belay that last announcement.
 
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Spock: "Anything to report, Mister Checkov?"
Checkov: "Yes'sair. De kepchan kontesst haz nut ref'renst Too Garls, Vun Cupp, but der ees steell tyme."
 
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The crew tried to be good sports during their bathroom breaks, but Kirk thought a second toilet for the Enterprise was long overdue.
 
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Orders are orders; therefore, by order of Doctor McCoy, Kirk had to gather the names of everyone he had slept with in the last 60 days so they could be treated for Tellarian Herpes.
 
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Uhura: "Attention: will the owner of a yellow shuttlecraft, license plate 'Pussy Wagon,' please report to the hangar deck? Your lights are on."

Kirk: "Dude, I'm right here!"
 
"Mature Audience" version of one of my "contributions" from yesterday:

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Spock: "Ensign, just don't take the white chocolate caramels--those are mine."

Sulu (OS): "And I have dibs on the sweet and salty nuts."
 
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Lieutenant Brent had a theory which said that if one person picked the right spot in
the corridor and stood there motionless for fifteen minutes at a particular part of
the shift, it would be possible to bring the whole of ship's operations to a standstill.
 
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